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Can World's Largest Laser Zap Earth's Energy Woes?

newviewmedia.com writes "Scientists at the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory plan on using a laser the size of three football fields to set off a nuclear reaction so intense that it will make a star bloom on the surface of the Earth. If they're successful, the scientists hope to solve the global energy crisis by harnessing the energy generated by the mini-star."

22 of 372 comments (clear)

  1. Re:And nothing could possibly go wrong... by germ!nation · · Score: 5, Funny

    <spoiler>
        everyone dies apart from Bruce Willis
    </spoiler>

  2. Re:bad journalism by dintech · · Score: 5, Funny

    And from the article

    you'll have to suspend all previous notions about what a laser looks like. This one is basically a giant factory full of tubes.

    Ted Stevens, is that you?

  3. Re:And nothing could possibly go wrong... by Ironchew · · Score: 2, Funny

    Don't worry, it's safe to approach during nighttime.

  4. How long until..... by cb95amc · · Score: 1, Funny

    ...these laser are small enough to be mounted on a shark.....

  5. Re:And nothing could possibly go wrong... by TrentTheThief · · Score: 3, Funny

    "Don't worry folks. The fire at Lawrence Livermore will burn itself out at the Mississippi."

  6. Re:Funding... Anyone? by ShadowRangerRIT · · Score: 3, Funny

    Nah. Fusion power is supposed to be perpetually 10 or 20 years away. They made a big mistake with that deadline; with a mere two year timeline, people will actually remember what was promised when the deadline passes.

    --
    $_ = "wftedskaebjgdpjgidbsmnjgcdwatb"; tr/a-z/oh, turtleneck Phrase Jar!/; print
  7. Re:And nothing could possibly go wrong... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Well, if the star turns out to be a problem, you can get rid of it with a black hole from the LHC...

  8. Re:And nothing could possibly go wrong... by stonedcat · · Score: 2, Funny

    Better yet, almost everyone lives apart from Bruce Willis!

    --
    You can't take the sky from me.
  9. Re:And nothing could possibly go wrong... by Walterk · · Score: 4, Funny

    At the very least this is one laser you don't want to look into with your remaining eye.

  10. Or its a weapon? by elucido · · Score: 2, Funny

    I wouldn't be surprised if its a death star type laser.

  11. Wanted... by Heed00 · · Score: 4, Funny

    One frickin' huge shark.

    --
    Thought thinks itself.
  12. Re:And nothing could possibly go wrong... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    My question is "Can we find a shark big enough?"

  13. White cat by Alain+Williams · · Score: 3, Funny

    We should be safe unless the director of the facility has a white cat, is surrounded by beautiful girls, has a tank of sharks for visitors, ....

  14. Brief though it may be ... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Won't we be for at least a short time a binary system?

  15. Re:And nothing could possibly go wrong... by halcyon1234 · · Score: 2, Funny

    But damn if this doesn't sound like the opening to the plot of a disaster movie.

    It is. It's the plot of Spiderman 2.

    Oh, wait, I thought you said disastrous movie.

  16. Re:The BBC did this much better, back in January by Mindcontrolled · · Score: 4, Funny

    Hey, don't complain - usually we just link to a blog, which links to another blog linking a twitter feed with a tinurl-obfuscated link to another blog finally linking to a tabloid article. When you worked yourself through that link chain, you have all the information you need to google for the original source, which, of course, is behind a paywall.

    --
    Ubi solitudinem faciunt, pacem appellant.
  17. I wonder by xednieht · · Score: 4, Funny

    If the laser is the size of 3 football fields how big does the shark have to be?

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    Hope is the currency of fools
  18. Any chance we could use the laser ON Mississippi? by Benfea · · Score: 2, Funny

    Just curious.

  19. Re:bad journalism by machine321 · · Score: 3, Funny

    nobody can second guess what fruits fundemental research will bear.

    Most of the research I've done into fundamentalists indicates that they don't bear fruits well at all.

    And I don't think you're supposed to call them "fruits", it's kind of derogatory.

  20. Re:So... by couchslug · · Score: 2, Funny

    Budget restrictions prevented that, so they will use Roseanne Barr in a finned sharkskin bikini.

    --
    "This post is an artistic work of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."
  21. the size of three football fields by gencha · · Score: 2, Funny

    These people with their science talk...

  22. Re:bad journalism by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    They are trying to figure out the time cube. That's the third reason.