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US Air Force Launches Secret Flying Twinkie
Spectrummag writes "One of the most secretive US Air Force spaceflights in decades, launched this month, is keeping aficionados guessing as to the nature of the secret. The 6000-kilogram, 8-meter X-37B, nicknamed the flying Twinkie because of its stubby-winged shape, is supposed to orbit Earth for several weeks, maneuver in orbit, then glide home. What's it for? Space expert James Oberg tracks the possibilities."
"That's a big twinkie..."
Every year during my review, I just pray the words "slashdot.org" aren't mentioned.
...it should be able to remain in orbit indefinitely without deteriorating.
This ain't rocket surgery.
Black Mesa
"I say we take off, nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."
Radar Operator: Colonel, you better have a look at this radar.
Colonel: What is it, son?
Radar Operator: I don't know, sir, but it looks like a giant...
Jet Pilot: Dick. Dick, take a look out of starboard.
Co-Pilot: Oh my God, it looks like a huge...
Bird-Watching Woman: Pecker.
Bird-Watching Man: [raising binoculars] Ooh, Where?
Bird-Watching Woman: Over there. What sort of bird is that? Wait, it's not a woodpecker, it looks like someone's...
Army Sergeant: Privates. We have reports of an unidentified flying object. It has a long, smooth shaft, complete with...
Baseball Umpire: Two balls.
[looking up from game]
Baseball Umpire: What is that. It looks just like an enormous...
Chinese Teacher: Wang. pay attention.
Wang: I was distracted by that giant flying...
Musician: Willie.
Willie: Yeah?
Musician: What's that?
Willie: [squints] Well, that looks like a huge...
Colonel: Johnson.
Radar Operator: Yes, sir?
Colonel: Get on the horn to British Intelligence and let them know about this.
Achievement Unlocked:
Dana Ripley
Doubly Relevant Sigourney Weaver Ref
I was thinking 6,000,000,000 mg myself.
Right delivery of payload.
FTA: The thing has a cargo bay the size of a pickup truck bed.
That is a pretty big cargo bay for a space plane. Conveniently big I say. Fun fact: a pickup truck bed is the right size for converting into a short term shark tank. Done all the time. A shark plus enough water to sustain it for about a day fits neatly into a pickup truck bed.
Another fun fact: Sharks can live in space. Only inside earth's gravitational atmosphere do they require near constant immersion in water.
Everybody here jokes about sharks with lasers and such, but you don't even need to fit one with a laser for this application. Satellites are totally defenseless against the natural offensive endowments of a shark. Its like no one designing satellites ever even thought about it, which is why it is so perfect. Bombs and lasers and such yes but not sharks. Add in the fact that an orbiting shark cannot be detected by any known means and you have the perfect space weapon!
It's the government. It took them that long to get all the paperwork done.
SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
First, if we're hearing about it now, the technology has probably been used by the black ops folks for a couple of decades.
Second, it wouldn't surprise me to learn that there are technologies in this "twinkie" that do not have terrestrial sources.
Third, whoever is involved, I'd bet that zero elected officials have knowledge of, or have oversight of, the project. Black ops are a fifth branch of the military, better funded than the Marines, that operate completely without the knowledge of any elected officials. Probably the last two elected people who really know what's going on in black ops were Dick Cheney (god help us) and before him, George H.W. Bush (monkeyboy's dad). Bush I was probably briefed on some of this tech because he was the head of the CIA, and Cheney probably got let in on it because he's obviously a reptilian.
You are welcome on my lawn.
Not only that - "Twinkie defense" just got a whole new meaning with this...
until they get the creme filling based weapons operational... It's gonna look like a giant porn attack!
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