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How Do You Handle Your Keys?
arisvega writes "I lost my backpack some time ago, but was lucky enough to have left my laptop at home that night, and my cell and keys in my pocket. The inevitable habit-change that followed was to start strapping my keys on my pants, so at least I would still be able to get home (as long as I kept my pants on). But I realized I had a lot of keys: one for the outer door, two for the inner, three more for my girlfriend's place, one for the office, one for the postbox, one for my bicycle, the car, the motorbike and the roof. ... Plus, I keep a tiny Swiss Army knife on my keychain that I really wouldn't want to part with. Needless to say, this makes a jingly bunch that eats through my pocket. I ask you, Slashdot people, how do you carry/safeguard a hefty, pronouncedly jingly bunch of keys? What are the alternatives? Any suggestions on clothing or technology? Would having 'The One Key' make things better, or worse?"
move in with your girlfriend, that will save you 3 keys right there
And then carry around a crowbar, just like Gordon Freeman. It's the universal key!
All those keys can be replaced by a few lock picks or if you are lazy a small amount of bump keys will go far.
Everyone that disagrees with me is a paid shill
three more for my girlfriends place
Why must you turn the internet into a house of lies, Ralph?
My work here is dung.
why do you need 3 keys for your girlfriend's place? You have 3 girlfriends?
* The lock on the front door
* The lock on her bedroom door
* The lock on her chastity belt
get a manpurse.
"National Security is the chief cause of national insecurity." - Celine's First Law
Main entrance to work, Office, Garage, Car, Front door of my house. I can also track my pets, kids and wife throughout the house. It's just one piece of my Orwellian dream.
The key to that lock is metaphysical.
Or a plasma cutter.
Depending on your burnt-flesh-stench preferences.
"Trolls they were, but filled with the evil will of their master: a fell race..." -- J.R.R. Tolkien on Olog-hai
Use your imagination.
It's so she can lay in wait for him, (mostly) naked, with dimmed lights and romantic music playing, posed provocatively on her bed. All while trusting that only he (holder of the Sacred Keys of I-Gave-You-Unfettered-Access-Where's-My-Ring) can enter her abode and ravish her.
Having the girlfriend's housekeys can lead to all kinds of laying-in-wait-for-him goodness, very few of which involve a blunt object and a trip to the hospital.
"Trolls they were, but filled with the evil will of their master: a fell race..." -- J.R.R. Tolkien on Olog-hai
Otherwise, they sit in the same coffee mug on my desk at home.
That's one way to hide them, I guess, but doesn't the coffee taste a bit odd?
Switch back to Slashdot's D1 system.
It seems to me that the *three* keys for your girlfriend's place are probably somewhat redundant
Yup, there's an alternative
I'm posting this as I stare at all the different keys and key chain items I carry around. They include my own house keys (3), my neighbor's keys (2), car keys (3), car alarm fob (2), RSA SecurID token, trigger lock keys (4), ThinkPad dock key (1), padlock keys (2). These are only the primary keys as the backups are stored elsewhere. Add to this the optional items such as a couple Leatherman Squirt S4s and Micra, Gerber Clutch and Shortcut, keychain flashlights, and assorted carabiners and I can understand your plight. After losing a set of keys after the disengagable clip came apart somewhere along Ft. Lauderdale beach, I looked for alternatives.
First, separate all your keys based on need. I carry around my Leatherman Micra, main house key, ignition and car alarm fob on one ring. On your second ring, add the garage key, car trunk key, Shell Gas RFID fob. On the third ring, place your firearm trigger lock key, the docking station key, and padlock keys. On the fourth ring, place the remainder.
Next, acquire a locking carabiner. Don't opt for the spring loaded ones you get for $5 for a 6 pack at WalMart. You need climbing gear biners. These can be had from Altrec or Eddie Bauer or even Home Depot. Attach the primary key ring set to this carabiner.
You'll then need to purchase a pair of cargo pants, and -- this is important -- make sure that it has belt loops that can accomodate at least a 2" leather belt.
Purchase a durable and reinforced leather belt. Along with this, pick up a belt-attachable key minder. Black leather ones are cool, but nothing says rugged like camo. You can attach the second and third rings to this belt. It will also have plenty of room for your cell phone holster, your Leatherman Wave, binoculars, primary flashlight, and optionally a spool of 550 paracord.
Finally, you'll need to purchase a MOLLE vest. These can be had for $60 used at an army surplus store but new ones can run into the hundreds of dollars. An ALICE capable vest is an option, but I prefer the MOLLE attachments. With this vest you can add several key rings and similar attachment devices.
In a more respectable time, men did more of a "Spectacles, Testicles, Wallet, and Watch." Now everyone I know does more like a One Handed Charleston, checking the pockets for wallet, keys, and cellphone.
You never expect irony, do you?
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@iyfwrestling
I did. And then I read the body of the post. And then I wanted to know how many different locations he uses RFIDs to get into. So I posted a reply. Asking how many locations.
DRM: Terminator crops for your mind!
Man, I wish my wife would eat me alive more often. I should try to pull that.
DRM: Terminator crops for your mind!
I do the same thing with my penis. You can never be too careful.
my blog
I do agree. My only problem with this thread is that so far no one has come up with a magical way to deal with this problem - the only real answer I've seen so far (and it's unstated) is "man up and deal with it". If you are the sort of person who needs to put an end statement right after every begin statement just so you won't forget to put it in after you've nutted out what should go in between, having tidy little application specific keyrings just won't cut it, no matter how much mangling they do to your pockets. If simply remembering "wallet, keys, phone" is almost too taxing for your organizational skills, guaranteed the only time you will remember to bring your post office box key with you when you leave the house is the moment when you pull up at the post office. And by the time you get home you will have forgotten what it was exactly that you forgot before.
The other solution is to leave your house or mother's basement so few times per year that most of the time your keys live on your desk. This way, your clothes will wear out faster than your pockets. If you intend to maintain the practice of living in mom's basement, another poster had an excellent suggestion to keep your keys ensconced in a snot-rag. This will be at least as effective a ward against future girlfriends/wives as garlic is to vampires. For extra efficacy, make sure the handkerchief emblazoned with either the D&D or Star Trek logo, your choice. You can't be too careful.
If I have seen further it is by stealing the Intellectual Property of giants.
And in the darkness bind them?
Why don't you keep them in your purse, next to the jar with your testicles?
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
Isn't it great when summer falls on a weekend!
The US government have made it clear that we have no inalienable rights; any we do not defend vigorously will be taken.
Yeah, there are some useful replies from all those nerds.
I personally just have one key (house key). The rest is covered by keycards, which stack nicely in a pocket or wallet. In fact, I'm considering a deck protector (like for card games) at this point :P
I did. And then I read the body of the post. And then I wanted to know how many different locations he uses RFIDs to get into. So I posted a reply. Asking how many locations.
What happened then?
NB: The message above might reflect my opinion right now, but not necessarily tomorrow or next year.
The suspense is killing me!!!!
First I'm going to tell you all about my keys, then I'm going to criticize you. This makes me feel important.
I have my keys divided into two separate rings. The first ring has 1 house key and 3 car keys. The second ring has a redundant car key (for the car I drive primarily) and house key for convenience as well as 2 work keys, the key to my tool shed, 2 house keys which I can't identify, 1 mailbox key I forgot to return, and a key for a Kensington lock.
All said, that's 13 keys. I keep both rings in my pocket. It hasn't been a problem.
I recommend that you buy pants which are in your correct size. It seems obvious to me that having too many keys isn't the problem -- it's just that your pockets are too small.
If you can't afford larger pants, might I recommend losing some weight? Anyhow, the point is that your keys shouldn't be eating holes in your pockets unless you're doing something wrong. (Are you sleeping in your work pants or something?)
Given the problems you have with managing simple everyday objects, I'd also suggest moving in with your girlfriend. She'll easily be able to handle little life details like selecting appropriate clothing, keeping track of important things like keys, and will more than happily tell you when it's time to change your pants.
Required reading for internet skeptics
Bullshit
The question is a good one for nerds
All nerds have pockets fulls of keys along with pocket protectors
I just keep a syringe of strong acid with me
Whenever I lose my keys, A small shot of the acid will dissolve the lock tumbler and I'm in
Try it, it works well on other people's locks as well
Sort of like a master key to the world
"Suppose you were an idiot...and suppose you were a member of Congress...but I repeat myself." Mark Twain
..in this thread has mentioned the obvious. In most of the world (IE the 3rd world) everyone with stuff they really need to secure, hires a guard to watch it. So you never carry a single key, you just wave to the nice man with the gun, and walk on through, leaving your car or motorbike keys in the ignition for the valet to park. Seriously people, step up, if you want to ditch keys, spend some money amd hire yourself a bouncer, doorman, groundsman, valet, elevator guy, housekeeper, driver and bodyguard (to carry your phone).
Waiting for the other shoe to...
You’ve obviously never tried it.
Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.