Slashdot Mirror


Study Shows Standing Up To Bullies Is Good For You

It will come as no surprise to anyone who's ever talked to my grandpa, but a recent study has shown that standing up to a bully is good for you. Although being bullied can be stressful and lead to depression, children who returned hostility were found more likely to develop healthy social and emotional skills. From the article: "In a study of American children aged 11 and 12, researchers from the University of California, Los Angeles, compared those who stood up to aggressors with those who did not. Children who returned hostility with hostility appeared to be the most mature, the researchers found. Boys who stood up to bullies and schoolyard enemies were judged more socially competent by their teachers. Girls who did the same were more popular and more admired by teachers and peers, the researchers found."

22 of 458 comments (clear)

  1. This is good for you by backbyter · · Score: 5, Insightful

    until it isn't.

    1. Re:This is good for you by severoon · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Headline reports causation while story only confirms correlation, news at 11.

      --
      but have you considered the following argument: shut up.
  2. Or could it be by Securityemo · · Score: 5, Insightful

    That only those of good mental and emotional health have the strength to stand up to bullies?

    --
    Emotions! In your brain!
    1. Re:Or could it be by Shotgun · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Maybe those willing to accept some personal injury as a consequence of keeping their pride and independance are viewed as being mature. Part of maturity is accepting that shit happens, but you have to soldier on anyhow. Immature adults, ie spineless dweebs, are always searching for someone else to accept the pain on their behalf.

      This goes far beyond standing up to bullies. Accepting the pain of a workout in order to finish a marathon. Working long hours to get a promotion. Laboring in the hot sun to create a beautiful garden. Immature people want someone else to make the pain go away. Mature one will go through the pain to achieve a goal.

      (Yes, idiots will go through the pain to say they went through the pain. But that is a different post 8*)

      --
      Aah, change is good. -- Rafiki
      Yeah, but it ain't easy. -- Simba
    2. Re:Or could it be by Bobfrankly1 · · Score: 4, Insightful

      I'm thinking a bully beating you so hard that he breaks your bones is probably going to be quite emotionally scarring.

      Whoever said that you had to fight fair? I was made to carry enough crap in my backpack in school that it was a pretty effective ball and chain. I didn't go around picking fights, but I sure wasn't going to get beat up. It wasn't long before the bullies went elsewhere.

    3. Re:Or could it be by Hatta · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Accepting the pain of a workout in order to finish a marathon.

      Suffering and possibly permanently damaging your knees and getting nothing in return. Is that maturity?

      Working long hours to get a promotion.

      And then realizing, your free time was more valuable in the first place.

      Laboring in the hot sun to create a beautiful garden.

      Well at least that one is a worthy goal.

      --
      Give me Classic Slashdot or give me death!
    4. Re:Or could it be by 99BottlesOfBeerInMyF · · Score: 4, Interesting

      run a marathon . . . get[] nothing in return

      In typical Slashdot fashion, anti-exercise trolls come out of the woodworks!

      I did plenty of physical activities that damaged my body growing up and even I recognize the difference. Being opposed to getting kids to run marathons or compete in sports that are damaging is not anti-exercise. Marathons are pretty hard on the body, high impact on the joints. My cousins played basketball and several other sports and now they hobble around barely able to walk properly while not even middle aged yet. Calling opposition to marathons anti-exercise is like calling people who don't like poison ivy anti-plant people. A lot of us encourage healthy exercise while still not encouraging kids to exercise in ways that likely damage them permanently.

    5. Re:Or could it be by TheoMurpse · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Yeah, but I was responding to someone who said you get "nothing" out of running a marathon.

      There is a chasm between "marathons can hurt your knees" and "marathons provide absolutely no benefit, physically or emotionally, whatsoever."

    6. Re:Or could it be by Grishnakh · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Working long hours to get a promotion.

      Hahaha! This doesn't actually happen in real life. Companies don't give promotions any more. They just tell you "the budget is really tight this year" and don't give anyone any raises, but when they're short on help they hire someone new for more than all the existing employees are already making.

      The only way to get a raise or a promotion is to get a new job.

    7. Re:Or could it be by Stargoat · · Score: 4, Insightful

      I'll be happy to take Gandhi. He succeeded only because the British were willing to let him. Do you think that non-violence works in China? North Korea? Russia? Any Islamic country (with the exception of Turkey)? Lying in front of trains to stop them doesn't work if the engineer just keeps driving.

      Non-violence only works when used against the non-violent. Maturity has nothing to do with it, unless you are referring to cultural maturity. And then we get hopeless Social Darwinistic (or worse - Marxist.)

      --
      Hoist Number One and Number Six.
  3. Schools by Darkness404 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    The problem is schools try their hardest to reduce attacks against bullies. For some reason the natural process of growing up has been demonized. Guess what? Kids fight. Guess what? They go home with a bloody nose and are made all the stronger because of it. These studies only confirm what everyone already knows that the natural process of growing up is just that: natural and beneficial.

    --
    Taxation is legalized theft, no more, no less.
  4. It's called Confidence by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    When you've got it, everyone knows it; you're better at everything because you believe in yourself.

    When you don't, you're living in your own shadow.

  5. Re:Good for you... by Darkness404 · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Humans always admire those who stand up to injustice, especially if they succeed. Look at the founding fathers of the US, Civil War "heroes", etc. It makes no difference if you are 8 fighting the school bully or if you are 28 fighting against tyranny, or if you are 78 and fighting injustice in the legal system.

    --
    Taxation is legalized theft, no more, no less.
  6. Stand up, or get beaten down by EmagGeek · · Score: 5, Insightful

    If you don't stand up to a bully, you'll only look like an attractive target to other bullies, and other non-bullies who might feel inclined to bully you because they know you won't respond.

    There's not just physical bullying either. Look at just about any teenage girl today. They're the most vile, fire-breathing, hostile creatures that walk the face of the Earth today, and they won't think twice about emotionally bullying a peer to the point of suicide.

    Failing to stand up just means you get bullied more, with sometimes fatal results.

  7. Was it good for you? by Itninja · · Score: 4, Funny

    Sure, until the bully shivs you in the neck. You're dying words with be "...it was good for me...".

    I prefer to take the same route and as beta male dogs; I pee on myself to show submission.

    --
    I judt got a nre Kinesis keybiartf so please excusr ant egregiou typos.
  8. "Don't fight back - they'll get bored" by djsmiley · · Score: 4, Informative

    Well the subject makes it clear what I was told....

    However it was until I decided to smash one guys head with a huge book, and kick another where it hurt while wearing steel toe caps that I got the reputation for being a "bit crazy and mad" that they stopped.

    Yes, hit them back. It works and they don't expect it. Just make sure your ready and know how to defend yourself else you'll end up getting hurt even more.

    --
    - http://www.milkme.co.uk
  9. No by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Some children that have no deficit of mental or emotional strength are taught by their parents that retaliation is wrong, that the meek are blessed, and that they should "turn the other cheek" as Jesus taught. This is reinforced by teachers who punish both students involved in a fight if either one defends himself against the other.

    It is a testament to the children's stoicism that they can accomplish this. Unfortunately for them, it looks like doing so may negatively impact their mental and emotional development (yeah correlation is not causation and all that...that's why I said "MAY").

    This happened to me. My parents were evangelical nuts. They set me up to go be a victim in public schools, which I was. I have no idea what psychological ramifications that may have for me today...but I DO know that when I started training in martial arts in high school, the bullying stopped, and I never had to hit anyone (which actually kind of disappointed me, because I had a lot of anger I wanted to unleash on the next unsuspecting bully).

    1. Re:No by Stargoat · · Score: 5, Interesting

      I had this problem. I was on the wrestling team at a heavier but very fit weight, being a state wrestler. I was also a nerd who greatly enjoyed his computers and D&D. Being a nerd, it was of course appropriate to gleek (spit) me, push, tease mercilessly, and otherwise inflict cruelty.

      One day in the 8th grade, a thug hit me on the back of the head. I turned around, headlocked him to the ground, and punched him until he was unconscious. He was an untrained baboon who didn't stand a chance. A teacher came over and broke up the fight.

      Like something out of a lame Hughes movie, I was applauded when I entered the cafeteria that day. I was exceedingly popular for the next two weeks - everyone likes seeing a thug get what they deserve. I never had to fight again either, as everyone who laid a finger on me knew what would happen.

      Unfortunately, I received the same punishment as the thug who hit me. This is not right. There is distinct disconnect in administration perception and the reality of the situation of what happens to the various social pariahs. The social pariahs are punished for fighting back and therefore the bullies are encouraged. Let me say this more clearly. Zero tolerance policies lead to bullying.

      It is my belief that the support of bullying leads directly to situations such as those boys in Columbine. If you cannot fight back, then you must either totally submit to all indignities or rebel against hopeless odds.

      There should be a physical violence outlet for the social pariahs against bullies. Bullies need to be confronted, physically, by the social pariahs. It is in the natural order of things that a whipped dog bites back eventually. It is natural and beneficial for the social pariah (and probably for the bully as well) that bullies be beaten in fights.

      --
      Hoist Number One and Number Six.
    2. Re:No by Belial6 · · Score: 5, Insightful

      You are correct on most parts. The place that you are confused is that you got punished for fighting. Kids don't get punishied for fighting in school. They only get punished for making the faculty deal with fighting. Since you defended yourself, you were just as much to blame for making the faculty deal with the issue as the guy that attacked you.

      Understand. Schools do NOT have a zero tolerance policy against violence. They have a zero tolerance policy against making them deal with the violence in their schools.

  10. Re:Good for you... by Jah-Wren+Ryel · · Score: 4, Insightful

    No they don't. There is a significant number of people, probably even a majority, who think that people who stand up to injustice just don't know their place. That they are "uppity." Maybe they just don't consider the injustice serious enough to warrant a conflict or they think social order is more important than righting a wrong or, and I see this one a lot, they think the person who is speaking truth to power is going to get squashed in response and that they are fools for even trying. I think the last is a projection of their own cowardice - at the very least they could be cheering the guy on, but instead they feel like they have to denigrate him as a way to justify their own inaction.

    --
    When information is power, privacy is freedom.
  11. I always... by charliemopps11 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I always backed down / ran away from bullies as I thought that was the right thing to do. Got the crap beat out of me every day for 12 years because they knew I wouldn't hit back. Now that I have a 2yr old of my own, I'll be teaching him that if anyone punches him in the shoulder and laughs his response should be to punch them square in the face. I'll deal with the teachers when I get called in. If they can't control their class room my kid will defend himself.

  12. Prisoner's Dilemma by dtmos · · Score: 4, Interesting

    I always felt that bullying was an iterated prisoner's dilemma situation. It's well-known that the optimum strategy for the iterated prisoner's dilemma is cooperate first, then tit-for-tat thereafter. In this context, "tit-for-tat" would mean fighting back.