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Apple Hires Antenna Engineers. Really.
kangsterizer writes "Sometimes, news items are just about a good laugh. You may or may not like Apple, but the way it has been handling its antenna issue has been like a small tech soap opera — Steve Jobs, the CEO, saying 'not to hold the phone that way,' rumors of software issues, and the latest but most crunchy part, since the antenna issue has been widely discovered, on 23 June, several 'antenna engineer' positions opened up at Apple. Seems someone got fired:
Antenna engineer job position 1,
Antenna engineer job position 2,
Antenna engineer job position 3."
I just figure they did all their testing in California, where AT&T dropping calls is as common as $4 coffees.
"If you experience problems with links sending you to the wrong URLs, just don't click on them that way." -Steve Jobs, paraphrased
Living With a Nerd
Apple's next product announcement will be for special color-matching paperclips ($9.99) and tin cans ($49.99) as antenna boosters.
...must be left-handed
So candidate "X": how would you deal with RF absorbtion and detuning of a microwave antenna when brought into close proximity of a human body?
< candidate answers, based on practical experience >
Interviewer writes down answer, says "That's very interesting, next candidate please"
politicians are like babies' nappies: they should both be changed regularly and for the same reasons
Hands on experience is required
iPhone noTouch
Because it's too expensive and time consuming to remove the word "beta" from the website?
Believe it or not, some people still drink plain, black 12 oz coffees. The poor ones that can only afford $4!!! HAHAHAhahahahaaha. ha?
When I first read that the stainless steel surround was an antenna...The laws of physics are against you, and any engineer should be able to point that out.
Well, now we know the material selection criteria. Laws of physics...or sleek and shiny?
What the fuck has to do Android with what we are reading/talking here? go to some Andriod news, god i hate this stupid jerks with their "my choices are better than yours" mental problem
a fanboi would probably suggest sucking Steve Jobs' dick as a solution.
I tried that when my new phone starting dropping calls, but he kept telling me "not to hold it that way."
...
Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week. Tip your waitress, try the veal.
They did. They were ignored because form is more important then function (this is Apple remember). The product then launched. The engineers were then overheard saying "we told you so" in the halls one day. And now there are 3 positions that recently became available.
Specifics? Last time I checked, there is nothing that the iPhone OS can do that Android can't do (and, aside from Android being "open", the reverse is more or less true as well.)
Does it have [extremely specific game X]? Does it have [extremely specific game Y]? Does it have [extremely specific game Z]? Does it sync with [designed-for-vendor lockin media player A]? No? That sounds pretty useless to me! What do you EXPECT me to do on these phones, anyway?
Completely unrelated, but do you realize that even VHS tapes must have gone through beta-testing?
Now all Apple needs to do is make a commercial with MC Hammer.
"Can't touch this!"
Best part is, they could use the same video - it's already people dancing in front of a white background. Just crank up the contrast until the people turn into silhouettes, and add some headphones.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2c4L4CPfQY8
What do you EXPECT me to do on these phones, anyway?
I expect you to DIE, Mr. Bond.
Living With a Nerd
> You don't need an expert to design an antenna, just someone with a half-assed knowledge of mathematics and an RF guide.
Steve Jobs, is that you?
I recently found out why Apple may have decided to eschew replaceable batteries. It makes the case so much more robust to have as few connection points as possible; in my case I left my iPhone on the roof of a car and it flew off whilst the car was going full speed. Luckily someone found it and I got it back with only one or two recognizable scratches.
However if this had had a battery compartment I can guarantee that it would have been a mess.
Who is this delectable creature with an insatiable love of the dead?
It's true. The Receiving department of their iTunes office filled up with money and had to be bailed out with huge buckets several times.
Intron: the portion of DNA which expresses nothing useful.
INTERVIEWER: "So you want the Antenna Engineer position?"
GUY: "Yes."
INTERVIEWER: "And you've heard what Stave jobs had to day on the subject?"
GUY: "That people with problems shouldn't hold their phone that way?"
INTERVIEWER: [winces] "Yeah, that. He didn't put it exactly that way. What -- what do you think about Mr. Jobs' response?"
GUY: "I don't agree."
INTERVIEWER: "What?"
GUY: "...with the, um, consumers who think that idea isn't correct." [smiles]
INTERVIEWER: "And what do you think would fix the problem?"
GUY: "I would show people the correct way to hold the phone?"
INTERVIEWER: [scribbles note on clipboard] "Thank you. You'll be hearing from us."
GUY LEAVES
INTERVIEWER: [picks up iPhone and dials] "Damn it" [adjusts grip] "This is Steve. We've interviewed one hundred engineers and ninety of them agree with Steve. Print the ad."
Less of a guess than from experience doing a little testing myself.
Sometimes people do the unexpected.
A software example happened to my company many years ago.
This was back in the DOS days.
Our software had a file manager. There was a function to copy the file to the floppy and from the floppy.
We where getting complaints that files where "unediting" themselves. This was actually impossible with the file structure we where using. We zeroed out the free sections of the file to help prevent curruption.
Well the keyboard commands where crtl f crtl f to copy from the floppy and ctrl f ctrl t to copy to the foppy.
We finally figured out that some people thought that they had to hit the ctrl f and t all at the same time.
They where holding the f down long enough for the auto repeat to cause them to copy from the floppy and they never noticed the message.
We "fixed" the issue by changing the hot keys in later versions and by adding a lot more warnings if you tried to copy an old file over a new file.
Just figuring out what caused the unediting was a challenge since the support was all phone based.
It is hard to make things easy.
See my blog http://ilovecookes.blogspot.com/ for light hearted technical information.
". . . based on how it was held by a conductor (eg, you)"
Huh? I don't stand in front of an orchestra waving my arms around...