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Russia's Unmanned Capsule Misses Space Station
mikesd81 writes "Russia's unmanned cargo ship Progress 38 missed docking with the ISS and sailed right on by it instead of docking on autopilot. A telemetry lock between the Russian-made Progress module and the space station was lost and the module flew past at a safe distance. NASA said the crew was never in danger and that the supplies are not critical and will not affect station operations. There will be no other attempts at docking today, and the orbit of the module raises questions of any other attempts again. Packed aboard the spacecraft are 1,918 pounds of propellant for the station, 110 pounds of oxygen, 220 pounds of water and 2,667 pounds of dry cargo — which includes spare parts, science equipment and other supplies."
But nobody said it would be easy.
So, next up on the agenda: the ISS.
arrarrarrarrrarr
So while trying to resupply it, the 'RUSSIAN' components failed to deliver its payload. It's now a possible danger to our gov't/mil satellites.
arrrarrarrarr
What do you propose we do?
arrarrarrrarr
Well, the public isn't going to like this. Can't we use our own rockets for this? Oh, so the Russians have superior rockets. How much money are we spending on this? Oh, that's not good. Didn't we already cut the Space Shuttle program out? Oh, so we can't even get our own people or supplies up to the ISS? Well WTF CAN WE DO!???????????
arrrarrrarrrarrr
get me Bruce Willis and Steve Buschemi!
My abilities are only limited by my imagination
Actually,
Everything is going completely as planned.
There were no supplies on the vessel and the pod was purposely sent off course. This was a very thoroughly planned tactical decision in order to acquire the funds for the supplies via the insurance payoff.
We would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for those meddling kids and their dog!
"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours." -- Yogi Berra
Our guys would have said something about converting to the metric system.
No, not technically. But international data rates to the space station are a bitch. /only half-joking
How are sites slashdotted when nobody reads TFAs?
Russians, "We are 15 centimeters from docking".
Nasa, "15 meters, rodger".
Russians, "No! 15 centimeters!"
Nasa, "How many feet is ...."
Crash!
Nasa, "Never mind".
This is NASA's way of pulling a USS Liberty incident on Russia's Aeronautical Space Ship (hereinafter A.S.S.)
I bet those asstronaughts were up there saying:
In a few thousand years, a craft from some distant advanced civilization will arrive in our solar system loaded with their interpretation of Russian porn.
Have gnu, will travel.
This is what passes for "Progress" in space these days?
And with that, the space salvage industry was born in a rush to be the first to recover this massive payload.
Carmack - go get 'em!
"There is more worth loving than we have strength to love." - Brian Jay Stanley
Not as much as the milk, holly is going to have to put those poor bastards on the dog's milk now.
The MySQL part.
Lasts longer than any other milk, dog's milk.
Why?
No bugger'll drink it.
Maybe the space module was using AT&T to communicate. AT&T better blast Owen Wilson into orbit to try to save face.
And a foot is the length of a foot. Which most people have a spare of, and is readily accessible.
Each is equally as arbitrary. Anyone who says otherwise is biased.
Ah, but then you'd need a space-tug-tug to pull your space-tug back when it fails...
Yo Dawg, I heard you liked space tugs...
... and then they built the supercollider.
In soviet Russia, a space station misses you.
...The only 'Imperial' unit I know worth preserving is the Fahrenheit/Rankine...
The pint?
Anyone?
Bueller?
"AT&T better blast Owen Wilson into orbit to try to save face."
...or simply as a public service.
"National Security is the chief cause of national insecurity." - Celine's First Law
Vote them all out. It's the only way to be sure.
No, I'm not joking.
I prefer rogues to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest.