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Chinese News Reports the Taliban Are Training Monkey Soldiers

Posted by samzenpus on from the I-want-to-shoot-like-you-oo-oo dept.

According to a Chinese news publication, soldiers in Afghanistan may soon come up against a deadly new weapon in the war: monkey soldiers. The report claims that the Taliban are training the monkeys to shoot and kill American soldiers. They also claim to have pictures of monkeys holding AK-47s and Bren light machine guns. From the article: "The New York Magazine has reported about this in jest and stated on Friday, 'No invader has ever conquered Afghanistan, and now we know why. The monkeys will not allow it. It was a good effort, but it's time to pack it in. This is no longer a fight we can win.'”

4 of 232 comments (clear)

  1. oblig Dr StrangeLove reference by stewbee · · Score: 2, Interesting

    General Turgidson: " Mr President! We must not allow a monkey soldier gap."

  2. and where's my mooncity?!! by Thud457 · · Score: 4, Interesting

    It's the 21st centruy, why can't I pony up $50 so I can shoot a enemy of America in the head via webcam ?!!!
    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6568977/#slice-2

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    the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff

  3. Re:Maybe they are? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Interesting

    they have monkeys we have Unmanned drones. at this rate its who runs out of rc planes/monkeys to kill each other with first.

  4. Re:uh.... by logjon · · Score: 1, Interesting

    Yes. Free speech zones have been designated in various areas throughout the mojave desert, and you will be allowed to use them for 30 days preceding any federal election.

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    The stories and info posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
    Only fools would take it as fact.