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Ballmer Says Microsoft Is 'Hardcore' About Tablets

gbll writes with news that Microsoft is gearing up to aggressively pursue the tablet PC market, according to CEO Steve Ballmer. Microsoft is working with a variety of hardware companies including Asus, Dell, Samsung, Toshiba and Sony, to release Windows 7 slates later this year. "These slates will be available at a variety of price points and in a variety of form factors — with keyboards, touch only, dockable, able to handle digital ink, etc. Since Ballmer showed off a prototype of a Windows 7 slate from Hewlett-Packard at the Consumer Electronics Show in January, the company has said next-to-nothing about how it planned to address the slate form-factor space. ... Ballmer never mentioned the iPad or the coming Chrome OS-based slates by name during his remarks. Microsoft’s pitch will be that these slates will be sanctioned by corporate IT departments, enabling customers to use them at work and at home."

15 of 324 comments (clear)

  1. Get ready for.... by the_one_wesp · · Score: 5, Funny

    Tablets, Tablets, Tablets, Tablets!!!!!

    1. Re:Get ready for.... by tomhudson · · Score: 5, Funny

      First day: "Hello, Mr. Ballmer and welcome to Microsoft R & D. Windows tablets? Sure - here, take two and call me in the morning!"

      Second day: "They didn't work? Sorry, I meant you should use Windows tablets like suppositories. You know the drill."

      Third day: "Can't run as fast as you used to? Windows will do that to you."

      Fourth day: "Can you feel the PAIN? Remember - no pain, no gain!"

      Fifth day: "What do I look like - tech support? Call your next of KIN"

      Sixth day: "You can't get it out? We need to reboot you. Bend over - this guy here used to be the kicker for Texas. Will this fix it? No, but you'll now know exactly what it feels like to be a long-term Microsoft customer."

      Seventh day: *crickets*

  2. ruggedized? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Will the tablets be ruggedized so they can withstand being thrown across the room by Ballmer when they end up languishing on store shelves next to the unsold Zunes?

  3. Hardcordz by Itninja · · Score: 5, Funny

    Ballmer using words like 'hardcore' makes me feel the same as when my Grampa would talk about 'the Googles' or any other time a male-menapausal coot tries to use 'cool' words to 'relate' to 'todays youth'

    --
    I judt got a nre Kinesis keybiartf so please excusr ant egregiou typos.
    1. Re:Hardcordz by Tau+Neutrino · · Score: 2, Funny

      Gnarly, dude. Totally tubular.

      --
      Lemmings are silly; dinosaurs are extinct.
  4. "Hardcore" means something different at MS by realmolo · · Score: 5, Funny

    It means "We have dedicated 5 different development and marketing teams to 5 different products that all compete with each other. Each of them has different strengths and weaknesses, each of them is mostly, but not *completely* compatible with the other, and NONE of them will actually be available for sale before Apple or Google makes them completely obsolete. Also, there will be skins available."

  5. Corporate IT departments by wandazulu · · Score: 3, Funny

    Microsoft’s pitch will be that these slates will be sanctioned by corporate IT departments, enabling customers to use them at work and at home.

    Translation: We will aggressively shove these down the throats of everyone though the CIOs who saw our ad in the in-flight magazine.

  6. Re:Still want Courier by Yvan256 · · Score: 4, Funny
  7. hardcore? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    I question he means by hardcore - when Apple won't even allow softcore.

  8. Re:If all they do by zmollusc · · Score: 2, Funny

    Meh, a tablet that was just a laptop without a hinge and with an on-screen keyboard that can be minimised when not in use would suit me. Especially if it had plenty of usb, sd and micro-sd slots.And wirelessness.

    And if it ran gnu/linux.

    --
    They whose government reduces their essential liberties for temporary security, receive neither liberty nor security.
  9. Oh noes! by Aggrajag · · Score: 3, Funny

    I'll bet this has something to do with squirting!

  10. Re:Still want Courier by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    A hard single stone surface tablet is nice to hold, especially since we have used to hold stone tablets in our hands for thousands of years.

  11. Re:If all they do by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    Internal Cloud management. Now there's a killer app for touch! Hey 18-24 year old, what are *you* using to monitor your internal clouds? You're not using that old n-teir VB 6 app are you! That's so 1998! You need our touch based windows 7 app. Then the ladies will be all upons! Spend less time managing your internal clouds and spend more time working on managing your upponment schedule!

  12. Re:Lets be honest here... by natespizer · · Score: 1, Funny

    That's not all your mom can do blindfolded.

  13. Re:Success with little risk by forceman130 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Nope, they are going defy skeptics like you and defiantly put out a good tablet.

    --
    Wow, a 7 digit ID - let that be a lesson in the perils of procrastination.