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Outlook Plug-In Keeps Tone of Your Email In Check
Meshach writes "A new plug-in for Outlook will warn you if an email you are about to send is 'too emotional.' Basically the plug-in scans the email for emotions such as elation, humiliation, excitement and fear. A user can set how much emotion they want to allow in their messages and if exceeded the threshold a warning will pop up."
WARNING: Outlook detected the phrase "full on double rainbow" as a modifying adjective in your e-mail and would like to remind you that this dangerously exceeds your predetermined threshold for elation and happiness. Outlook suggests taking one step down the elation scale and changing the phrase "Dude, last night that hooker was full on double rainbow!" to "Dude, last night that hooker was titties!" Yes/No?
My work here is dung.
Years of research went into language analysis software for this plug-in before an intern stumbled on the genius idea of simply counting the exclamation marks.
We are Outlook. Lower your firewalls, and surrender your servers. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service ours. Resistance is futile.
Eudora had this 10 years ago (then called 'MoodWatch'). Good to see Microsoft keeping up...
WARNING: Outlook has detected dangerously high levels of sarcasm in your post ...
My work here is dung.
Hi,
This is a third party app. I doubt Microsoft would even care to make something this useless. But thanks for showing that you are clueless and so is the moderator.
See my journal for slashdot ID's by year. Mine created in 2005. http://slashdot.org/journal/289875/slashdot-ids-by-year
The king is dead. Long live the king!
You appear to be expressing too much frustration. Can I suggest replacing
"If goddamn clippy pops up once more the computer' s going out the fucking window"
with
"the appearance of clippy seems to be non-optimal. This may result in displacement of the computer"
Google and see peppers here
It has been annoying me for some time
It has been upsetting me for some time
It has been troubling me for some time
and finally replaced with
It has been concerning me for some time
All these mean different things.
My ability to get an erection has been upsetting me for some time
My wife's laughter at this has been annoying me for some time
It all started after I clicked on a goatse image, which has been troubling me for some time
And the quality of the Viagra pills I have been buying cheap from Taiwan has been concerning me for some time
Your message exceeds your Whoosh Factor.
Would you like to...
[Acquire Sense of Humor] [Cancel]
But integrating this with Clippy would be awesome!
It looks like you're writing a death threat! I can help you with that. Would you like me to:
>>> Track down the street address of the bastard you're going to kill and display it on Bing?
>>> Recommend ways to kill the bastard and vendors who might carry the supplies you need nearby?
>>> Tone down the note so the bastard doesn't see it coming?
>>> Find a therapist nearby so you can develop a sentence-reducing sense of remorse after the killing?
Optional Paid Services:
>>> For a one-time fee of $12,000, I can appear on your victim's screen continuously, alter the contents of their documents and emails to look embarrassing, and generally act like MS-Office does, only more extreme, until your intended victim loses the will to live and commits suicide. Charge will appear on your credit card bill as "hookers and blow" so the police will be misled into charging you with a far lesser crime if they ever trace it to you, which is pretty much impossible anyway. Hook me up with some really good acid-free vellum (you know how us paperclips like nice paper!) and we can discuss a discount, but it's gotta be the good stuff, not the crappy vellum you buy at Staples.
"This post contains words, known to the State of California to cause thought. Wash brain thoroughly after reading."
For people who keep caps lock on and type the entire message in the subject.
Eudora had this 10 years ago (then called 'MoodWatch'). Good to see Microsoft keeping up...
WARNING: Outlook has detected dangerously high levels of sarcasm in your post ...
Oh, a sarcasm detector, that's a real useful invention.
They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance. - Terry Pratchett