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Southwest Adds 'Mechanical Difficulties' To Act Of God List

Posted by samzenpus on from the blameless-travel dept.

War, earthquakes, and broken washers are all unavoidable events for which a carrier should not be liable if travel is delayed according to Southwest Airlines. Southwest quietly updated their act of God list a few weeks ago to include mechanical problems with the other horrors of an angry travel god. From the article: "Robert Mann, an airline industry analyst based in Port Washington, NY, called it 'surprising' that Southwest, which has a reputation for stellar customer service, would make a change that puts passengers at a legal disadvantage if an aircraft breakdown delays their travel. Keeping a fleet mechanically sound 'is certainly within the control of any airline,' Mann said. 'Putting mechanical issues in the same category as an act of God — I don't think that's what God intended.'"

18 of 223 comments (clear)

  1. Check their payroll by Drakkenmensch · · Score: 5, Funny

    Is God part of their fleet maintenance engineering crew?

    1. Re:Check their payroll by interkin3tic · · Score: 5, Funny

      I don't know, have you seen the latest security measures?

      "Thou shalt not bring liquids over 3 oz in thine carry-on luggage, for it is an abomination and potentially a bomb (anation).

      Thou shalt remove thine shoes from thine feet, for thee art in a place of holy security, and also we want it to look like we learned something from that shoe bomber incident.

      Thou shalt not bring hammers onto the plane, for in the face of a terrorist wielding a hammer all are paralyzed with fear and would not be able to stop him from hammering out the windows and depressurizing the cabin, causing extreme discomfort for all therein.

      Thou shalt not question TSA rules, for they keep you safe so long as terrorists continue to be inconceivably stupid and incapable of lighting the bombs they hath smuggled aboard the airplane"

      Pretty sure God works for TSA and doesn't take his job very seriously.

    2. Re:Check their payroll by Hoi+Polloi · · Score: 3, Funny

      He should be since all thier mechanics pray to him before every take off.

      --
      It is by the juice of the coffee bean that thoughts acquire speed, the teeth acquire stains. The stains become a warning
    3. Re:Check their payroll by Dahamma · · Score: 5, Funny

      "First shalt thou take out the Holy ziploc bag, then shalt thou count to three ounces, no more, no less. Three shall be the number of ounces, and the number ounces shall be three. Four ounces shalt thou not bring, neither thou two ziploc bags, excepting that thou then proceed to check one. Five ounces is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then handest thou thy Holy ziploc bag to thy TSA screener, who being arbitrary in My sight, shall confiscate it anyway."

  2. If 'mechanical difficulties' has been added... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...to the acts of God list, you better add 'my angry fist to your prone crotch', you cheap assholes. Typical Southwest bullshit.

    1. Re:If 'mechanical difficulties' has been added... by Anne+Thwacks · · Score: 3, Funny

      No- Thats RyanAir

      --
      Sent from my ASR33 using ASCII
  3. Re:I think they're right by mmkkbb · · Score: 3, Funny

    You know those belts don't indicate actual martial arts skill, right?

    --
    -mkb
  4. Sorry, but SWA can PROVE this is valid. by Just_Say_Duhhh · · Score: 5, Funny

    How many passengers sit down in those oh-so-comfy airplane seats, buckle in and quietly say, "Oh god, PLEASE don't let this airplane fall apart!"

    If god chooses not to listen, should SWA be held liable?

    --
    I need trepanation like I need a hole in the head.
  5. Yay, free auto repair by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    By this logic my insurance company should be liable for when my car breaks down. Woohoo!

    1. Re:Yay, free auto repair by russ1337 · · Score: 2, Funny

      It is a little ironic that if my car breaks down it is an act of God, yet I only able to buy an extended warranty from companies who are agents of the Devil...

  6. God Does Not Roll Dice... by Rollgunner · · Score: 4, Funny

    But He has been known to loosen a nut from time to time.

  7. Re:It only makes sense by h4rr4r · · Score: 3, Funny

    You don't think an angry sky wizard could burn out a transistor?

    Maybe the pilot and copilot are gay lovers, or maybe they had shrimp for lunch, or failed to say the correct prayers at the correct times, it seems from the relevant documentation anything pisses off those types.

  8. Re:Mechanical failure by Binkleyz · · Score: 4, Funny

    And thus the obligatory "Slashdot automobile analogy" requirement is fulfilled.

  9. Re:I think they're right by Anne_Nonymous · · Score: 5, Funny

    >> Statistics should be considered an "Act of God".

    So should arriving on time with all you luggage intact.

  10. it's called by bugs2squash · · Score: 4, Funny

    intelligent maintenance.

    --
    Nullius in verba
  11. Re:It only makes sense by cgenman · · Score: 2, Funny

    Exceptions for acts of god makes sense. After all, should an airline be held responsible for the unknowable, infallible actions of our omnipotent creator?

    Of course, they want notarized proof if your sick and need to change planes. I want Southwest to get a note from God that He authorized the act. Also, a xeroxed copy of His driver's license or passport proving His identity. And His signature, which must match the signature card from a local bank.

    Also, I want to know why He keeps making the Yankees win.

    --
    The ______ Agenda
  12. 8 year olds, Dude. by Ol+Biscuitbarrel · · Score: 2, Funny

    You said it, man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus.

  13. Re:It only makes sense by BigMarv · · Score: 2, Funny

    Also, I want to know why He keeps making the Yankees win.

    Pretty sure that was the other guy.