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Bicycles As a Gateway To Government Control
somaTh writes "Dan Maes, a candidate for governor of Colorado, thinks he's found an international conspiracy that starts with bike sharing. The article describes his current complaints with the incumbent's policies. 'The bike program in it of itself, if that's all it is, I wouldn't be opposed to it,' Maes told 9NEWS. 'What I am opposed to is if it's part of a bigger program that the mayor has signed on to as part of a UN program. That I would be opposed to.' He goes on to argue that the bicycle program is only a gateway into bigger policies including, but not limited to, forced abortions and population control. I understand that bike seats are uncomfortable, but I had no idea it was on purpose."
Next thing you know, he'll say skateboards are the Highway to Satanism, Goatse Worship, and the Global Domination of Barking Pumpkins and Douchebags.
Shoes for Industry. Shoes for the Dead.
precious bodily fluids in any of this?
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GeneralRipper
...that the bike seats were designed to make you wear stupid pants.
I think that it's about time we fluoridate this guy's drinking water!
OMG! There's a socialist under every rock, and we need to protect ourselves from these anti-consumerist, anti-free trade, anti-American perpetrators of evil! Sharing bikes is a sign of socialism, and everyone needs to buy their own bike if we are to have a free and functioning democracy. If we let these socialist put bikes out there to share, it is inevitable they will hook our young children on their evil ideas of sharing. Once people start sharing, particularly government purchased stuffs, our young will grow into people who will want a bigger government which provides more stuffs to share. Where will it end? It won't end with bikes. It won't end with cars, RVs, boats or the like. No, soon the government will grow to offer all sorts of things. This bike program is really a back door route to medical health care. If we're getting free bikes to use, we'll want free health care. That's when the socialists have got us. Of course, free medical care will lead to limiting children, death panels, and LSD. Stop the socialists today, "Just say no to bicycles!".
The world is vastly over populated. Yes if everybody on the planet each got a knife made out of recycled glass and used it carefully to murder a neighbour, then the whole problem would be halved over night.
I, for one, welcome our new bike-sharing overlords.
I don't understand... is he saying that forced abortions are a bad thing?
"He who can destroy a thing, controls a thing." --Paul Atreides, Dune
Bike sharing is forced population control? Perhaps because when you have a bike accident, you slip from your seat and bust your nuts on the horizontal frame bar?
The government can have control of my bicycle when they pry it from my cold, dead cleats.
Instead of recycled glass I'm just going to use my SUV and slowly suffocate/overheat my neighbors.
Funny how it works out the same.
Paying taxes to buy civilization is like paying a hooker to buy love.
Personally I only use The Onion as a reliable source of information.
Unicycles are not fair and balanced.
Well, you can't count them if you can't get them out.
Don't know about you guys, but I'm definitely putting tin foil on the seat before I sit on it.
Unlike Slashdot where everyone agrees 100% with everyone else
You're so right! BTW, I think Microsoft makes some pretty good products that are reasonably priced.
The only reason there are so many stupid people is that it's illegal to kill them.
It goes against the Republican party's values. They only believe in killing people after they've been born.
Particularly fatal bike riding.
Please do not read this sig. Thank you.
I think I speak for everyone here when I say that no we don't.
You know, there is a difference between trolling and pointing out the flaws in your reasoning. Just saying.
You're so right! BTW, I think Microsoft makes some pretty good products that are reasonably priced.
I agree, I love their keyboards and mice.