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Apple Exec Stashed $150,000 In Shoe Boxes
angry tapir writes "US federal agents found more than US$150,000 in cash when they searched the house of Apple manager Paul Devine earlier this month, according to prosecutors. 'He had over $150,000 stored in shoe boxes,' Department of Justice Attorney Michelle Kane said. Devine was charged two weeks ago with taking kickbacks from Apple suppliers."
iBox?
There are lots of ways to securely stash cash. shoeboxes under the bed are not one of them. a run to home depot for a post hole digger, some PVC pipe and caps = a money safe the feds wont find.
Although this guy does not look like the type that knows how to run a complex device like a shovel.
Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
We probably have about $150,000 in shoeboxes in my apartment. Unfortunately, they're in the form of my wife's shoes.
The balance on his bank account was 12 dozen shoes.
When things get complex, multiply by the complex conjugate.
One of the problems with stashing $150,000 in cash is that you lose some $4,500/yr (or more) due to inflation. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:US_Historical_Inflation_Ancient.svg
in the Banana Stand
I doubt anything is going to happen. In fact, I thi- brb, weird noises coming from my back door.
"Going to war without the French is like going deer hunting without your accordion." ~General Norman Schwarzkopf
(posting as AC for reasons that will become obvious)
BZZZZT! wrong!
I have to take exception to several of your suggested hiding places. I used to BE a thief, I've commited B&E on dozens of homes in my mis-spent youth and in most cases, I was not alone. I can tell you that the image of the stupid, poor, stupid, lazy and stupid urban youth boosting your shit to buy drugs is bang on. (did I mention stupid?) Back when I was breaking into homes, I was looking for the following (in order) drugs, cash, non-custom and non-monogram jewellry, easily fenced/bartered electronics, meat, especially roasts, steaks etc, and finally lingerie.
Here's the logic behind each:
Drugs: well duh! you'd be amazed at the number of homes we found worthwhile quantities of weed in, and trust me, druggie thieves develop a good sense for where you're likely to keep your stash, since you're likely to be stupid and lazy about hiding it too. Even if we find something that we have no interest in ourselves, we always know someone who'd be happy to take it off our hands.
Cash is obviously the least traceable, most fungible and most value-dense item there is.
Jewellry, it's a lot harder than the media would have to believe to find a straight out-and-out fence, and even when you do, they never give more than a small percentage of the actual value.(5% would be generous) That said, there is usually a friend or a local drug dealer who is interested in buying your swag as gifts for the girlfriend, or more likely, taking in trade to cover your drug tab.
Electronics: Back then it was all about component stero systems and this new high end format called CD, even if I didn't know anyone who would buy it, plenty of guys would just take it home for themselves. Again, there is often a buddy or drug dealer who will barter with you. The thief may not find your stashed cash, but you're still out both cash and stereo aren't you? Back then video game cartridges were guaranteed to walk out the door with us, except for Donkey King 'cause everybody already had that one.
Meat: meat is an expensive, value-dense item. A lot of these guys practically live on "pogie-bait" and have a girlfriend and some bastard kid(s) to feed. Every 20$ he can shave off the food budget is another dime bag or rock he can score for himself. Besides, the freezer is one of the best places to look for cash... "Bringin home the bacon" is also a good way to shut up that nagging bitch and convince her you are actually providing for her and the brat(s)
Thieves are lazy, we almost never steal your furniture 'cause it's fucking heavy! Unless you got yourself a new or almost new black leather sectional or something, we ain't going to touch it. (I've never undertsood my fellow scumbags fascination with leather furniture and brass n' glass accent furniture as a status item) The safest piece of furniture? that ratty looking sofa couch you have in the spare room.
One last thought: a lot of thieves will just fuck you over on anything they can't steal. i.e. too much meat in the freezer to steal? we'll just unplug it. Take a shit between your mattress and box spring, Scrub our anus with your toothbrush, jerk off in the ladies lingerie. (that which we haven't crammed into our pockets as a gift our own girlfriends.) Whatever sounds like shits n' giggles to the druggie at the time. So don't stash any cash in easily breakable/vandalized items. I've *seen* grandma's ashes get flung all over the living rooms white shag carpet just because, so her urn is not a good hidie-hole.
My recommendation for a hiding place? Take off the toekick of your kitchen lower cabinets and replace the nails with super magnets and metal plates. There is a phenomenal amount of space for cash, guns whathaveyou and no thief would waste enough time in the home to get around to checking that.
This is useless for hiding anything from the authorities of course. For them it's not a value vs effort thing, if they suspect you have something hiding in your home, they can take as long as they want taking things down to the bare studs, even x-raying things if they think it's worthwhile. Nothing within your legal property lines would be secure.