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Social Media Can Help You Fake Your Own Death

Julie188 writes "We are inundated with warnings that social media is systematically stripping away our privacy. But Frank Ahearn, the so-called 'Dear Abby' of disappearing, is attempting to show folks how to use those same technologies to regain your privacy, even helping you go as far as faking your own death. Ahearn is a professional skip-tracer who has hunted down people like Monica Lewinsky. In an interview with Ahearn on Network World, he says, 'One can legally disappear through the use of corporations and offshore corporations. The idea is to embrace technology and to become a virtual entity.' My favorite tip is that New Zealand is the place to land once you leap off the grid. Not only is it far from most of the rest of the English speaking world, he says, but it also has great beaches."

35 of 146 comments (clear)

  1. Obligatory Simpsons by antifoidulus · · Score: 4, Funny

    Marge:"When I asked you if that Twitter account was to fake your own death you told me no."

  2. Damnit by DeadBeef · · Score: 4, Funny

    Where am I supposed to skip to if I'm starting in .nz?

    --
    I am a lawyer and this constitutes legal advice and I shall indemnify you against any losses arising from taking it.
    1. Re:Damnit by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Where am I supposed to skip to if I'm starting in .nz?

      I guess to the same place the rest of you Kiwis skip too... Australia. Slightly lower sheep:man ratio here but the weather is better!

    2. Re:Damnit by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Northland. All the good weather of Australia, and a far lower aussie:human ratio.

    3. Re:Damnit by Kittenman · · Score: 2, Funny

      Brother, if you're in NZ already it's almost like being dead.

      --
      "The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes" - Winston Churchill
    4. Re:Damnit by phantomfive · · Score: 4, Funny

      Fiji. You can go there and live off the land. There are some isolated islands where there is nothing but a bunch of villagers. They will take pity on your pathetic incompetence and give you food from time to time after you demonstrate that you don't know how to fish or open a coconut. Bonus if you're white because they think white person's flesh is not suitable for human consumption. Of course that is only a theoretical consideration since cannibalism hasn't existed in Fiji for over a century. Or so they say.

      (note: this post is based on a true experience someone told me).

      --
      Qxe4
    5. Re:Damnit by AK+Marc · · Score: 2, Funny

      You are a Kiwi and don't know? Perth, of course. Or Tasmania. Darwin? No one will go there looking for you. And you are already a resident there, sort of.

    6. Re:Damnit by GrumblyStuff · · Score: 2, Funny

      Thank sir/ma'am! You're the ever vigilant patriot every country needs to keep an eye on the most southern continent. We must keep watch in case the Emperor Penguin makes his move on the rest of the world!

    7. Re:Damnit by MrKaos · · Score: 2, Informative

      Bonus if you're white because they think white person's flesh is not suitable for human consumption.

      Funniest thing about this comment is people think it's funny.

      --
      My ism, it's full of beliefs.
  3. Doesn't matter by JoshuaZ · · Score: 2, Funny

    Even if you go off the grid the terminators will still track you down.. SkyNet will triumph. Neither Arnold nor Summer Glau can save you.

    1. Re:Doesn't matter by monkeySauce · · Score: 4, Funny

      That's what you think. Summer Glau saved me twice last night, and it was wonderful.

    2. Re:Doesn't matter by MaskedSlacker · · Score: 2, Funny

      You know, they do have names:...T-800 (don't think it had a name?).

      So, what you're saying is, they do-don't have names?

  4. Meanwhile, here in New Zealand... by Seriousity · · Score: 4, Funny

    It was revealed today that a member of parliament had been arrested for stealing the identity of a dead baby and thereby falsely obtaining a passport.

    The Government here has a few thousand monkeys that spend all their time browsing through the various redundant overlapping government agency databases to catch you out for identity fraud, benefit fraud, unlawfully riding a train without a ticket or forgetting to tie your shoelaces in the morning. But yeah, we have some nice beaches, so it's worth the risk :D

    --
    This post was made in complete sincere seriousity; as such any attempts to derive humour are doomed to instant failure.
    1. Re:Meanwhile, here in New Zealand... by taniwha · · Score: 4, Informative

      Well to be fair he's a nutter, part of a right wing party that seems to have jumped the shark at this point, he was the proponent of our '3 strikes' legislation - when this was announced in parliament today there were shouts of "strike two".

      The main reason why the government started doing that in 2005 was because we had discovered that Israeli spies had been doing exactly that thing, getting fake NZ passports using the birth certificates of dead babies - the police went back through the records to hunt down any such passports, to cancel them to protect our citizens traveling abroad.

    2. Re:Meanwhile, here in New Zealand... by cosm · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Have you seen what the few hundred thousand monkeys here in the US has been doing lately? They make more than the private sector, apparently bean counting is a lucrative globally lucrative business.

      And I guarantee most of that extra income goes to...hookers and blackjack!

      --
      'We are trying to prove ourselves wrong as quickly as possible, because only in that way can we find progress.' RPF
    3. Re:Meanwhile, here in New Zealand... by Ian+Alanai · · Score: 3, Funny

      Costa Rica, it has no army. And a good dose of tranquilo. And a Caribbean coast. And Latino lovers. And volcanoes, but they are very relaxed and not all uptight like the NZ ones.

      --
      Whichever way you look at it, it's true. I'm not.
  5. Just a tip by Kindgott · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Don't buy this book on Amazon using your credit card if you do intend on disappearing. It might tip off anyone who does come looking for you.

    --
    If there's anything more important than my ego around here, I want it caught and shot immediately.
  6. Time & money by wen1454 · · Score: 2, Interesting

    The average person does not have the time to create disinformation or the resources to move to New Zealand. On the other hand governments and large organizations will find disinformation strategies very useful. It is only a matter of time before sites like wikileaks are inverted.

  7. Re:And if you want to be dead by Heytunk · · Score: 4, Funny

    Unlike the rest of the world New Zealanders have a knack for surviving natural disaster so we have to find other ways to kill ourselves.

  8. Ad for his book by aztektum · · Score: 5, Insightful

    This whole 'interview' seemed very shallow with no detail. The interviewer kept pestering about illegal things which he kept saying "No, don't do that." and I kept saying "Well what would one do then?" Finally at the end he mentions his book with a link to where you can buy it.

    So, what is the point of this article then?

    --
    :: aztek ::
    No sig for you!!
  9. You hide in crowds not underpopulated countries. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Informative

    NZ may be a great place to end up but it has a first-world intelligence and police service with very good databases. The French military naively thought they could wander round NZ in the '80s with no one noticing but just about every step these secret agents took was remembered, videotaped and documented by sticky-nosed busy-bodies. The best place to hide is in a crowd and with NZ being so underpopulated, strangers stick out.

  10. Actually, what you want is ... by PPH · · Score: 5, Interesting

    ... a bunch of phoney identities under which to wreak havoc. Meanwhile, keep your real name and reputation clean. When one of the 'evil' identities gets into trouble, kill it off.

    Set these up early in life and keep them going with minor activity. Loan a fake SSN out to an illegal laborer to stay on the books. Then, when you hit it big in Vegas, you record the income under the false ID. That person 'dies' (Hey, it was a Mexican gardener anyway), leaving no trace of the cash. Party with it using the next ID, etc.

    --
    Have gnu, will travel.
  11. Let's fake a birth online. by CrisRonk · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Why not fake a birth and give this person a unique identity online? Complete with pictures, tweets, Amazon account, everything.

    --
    CrisR
  12. Re:And if you want to be dead by TallGuyRacer · · Score: 2, Informative

    Nobody dies in our natural disasters!

  13. The Geek Plays Hide and Seek by westlake · · Score: 5, Interesting

    New Zealand has a population of 4 million.

    73% of unmixed European descent. Demographics of New Zealand

    Metro New York City has a population of 19 million, and is ethnically, religiously, and culturally diverse.

    Approximately 36% of the city's population is foreign-born. In New York no single country or region of origin dominates. The ten largest countries of origin for modern day immigration are the Dominican Republic, China, Jamaica, Guyana, Mexico, Ecuador, Haiti, Trinidad and Tobago, Colombia and Russia. The largest ethnic groups in New York City are African American, Italian, Jewish, and Irish.
    The New York City metropolitan area is home to the largest Jewish community outside Israel, and the city proper contains the largest Jewish community in the world. It is also home to nearly a quarter of the nation's South Asians, the largest African American community of any city in the country, and comprised as of 2008 a population of 659,596 ethnic Chinese. the largest outside of Asia.
    New York City

    The Islamic population in 2004-2005 was around 600,000. Columbia Presents First-Ever Study on Muslim Political, Social, Religious Identity in NYC

    Manhattan has 354 million square feet of office space.

    But New York remains importantly, if less visibly, a manufacturing center. There are no unmarketable skills, however obscure.

    The fool on the run takes to the back roads, the Pacific, the Klondike - where the youngest child will point him out as the stranger. The one who doesn't belong. Doesn't dress the part. Doesn't act the part.

  14. Re:Destination by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Informative

    Meeheheheeehhh, that's a shaky plan.

    Suck it up, pussy.

    We don't just have earthquakes you know, we also have volcanoes, tsunamis and the occasional strong breeze. I'd stay away if I were you.

  15. Facebook could do it all by Lord_of_the_nerf · · Score: 5, Funny

    It's easy.

    Lord_of_the_nerf has changed his relationship status to Single
    Lord_of_the_nerf likes The Cure and Why Does Everyone Who Loves Me Leave???
    Lord_of_the_nerf's current status: *sigh* WHEN DOES THE HURTING STOP???
    Lord_of_the_nerf likes Schick Razors and Warm Baths

    1. Re:Facebook could do it all by sco08y · · Score: 2, Informative

      Lord_of_the_nerf likes Schick Razors and Warm Baths

      You might have better luck with Dovo.

  16. Re:Not Australia by Ian+Alanai · · Score: 4, Funny

    And the poisonous spiders that hide in the dunnies. And the poisonous snakes that hide in your shoes. And the poisonous jellyfish that hide in your togs. And the poisonous crocodiles that hide in the sewers. By god, it's no wonder they drink so much.

    --
    Whichever way you look at it, it's true. I'm not.
  17. Interesting twist by Target+Practice · · Score: 4, Funny

    And here I thought social media was used to fake a life...

    --
    There's a 68.71% chance you're right.
  18. Re:And if you want to be dead by Spad · · Score: 2, Funny

    Even your natural disasters are boring :)

  19. FUBS by DynaSoar · · Score: 2, Interesting

    "We are inundated with warnings that social media is systematically stripping away our privacy."

    We are inundated with hair-on-fire cliches being used to preface a forced association between someone's inconsequential issue and some hot button topics and trigger words, in order to convince us that the association is valid and the issue is significant. Needing to use these is a good sign that the ensuing issue is too insubstantial to stand on its own.

    Fear, uncertainty and uh-huh.

    --
    "I may be synthetic, but I'm not stupid." -- Bishop 341-B
  20. Re:Not Australia by nedlohs · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Are you "of middle eastern appearance"? Are you under 25?

    No on both? Then yes the Autralian police are fine and upstanding providing a wonderful service to all Australians.

  21. Re:Obviously by nedlohs · · Score: 2, Interesting

    many people of "middle eastern appearance" have never set foot anywhere near the middle east, which would make "staying" there rather difficult.

    Take me for example. I have 0% middle eastern descent - I have Irish, English, a tiny bit of Scandanavian, two of my family tree paths are first fleeters, and yet I sometimes get asked where I'm from with Greece and "the middle east" being their two guesses.

  22. Re:Not Australia by Dr+Max · · Score: 2, Informative

    Dunny is any toilet in Australia, and togs are swimwear which is where our other nick name for budgie smugglers, DTs came from (dick togs).

    --
    Rocket Surgeon.