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Social Media Can Help You Fake Your Own Death

Julie188 writes "We are inundated with warnings that social media is systematically stripping away our privacy. But Frank Ahearn, the so-called 'Dear Abby' of disappearing, is attempting to show folks how to use those same technologies to regain your privacy, even helping you go as far as faking your own death. Ahearn is a professional skip-tracer who has hunted down people like Monica Lewinsky. In an interview with Ahearn on Network World, he says, 'One can legally disappear through the use of corporations and offshore corporations. The idea is to embrace technology and to become a virtual entity.' My favorite tip is that New Zealand is the place to land once you leap off the grid. Not only is it far from most of the rest of the English speaking world, he says, but it also has great beaches."

99 of 146 comments (clear)

  1. Obligatory Simpsons by antifoidulus · · Score: 4, Funny

    Marge:"When I asked you if that Twitter account was to fake your own death you told me no."

  2. Damnit by DeadBeef · · Score: 4, Funny

    Where am I supposed to skip to if I'm starting in .nz?

    --
    I am a lawyer and this constitutes legal advice and I shall indemnify you against any losses arising from taking it.
    1. Re:Damnit by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Where am I supposed to skip to if I'm starting in .nz?

      I guess to the same place the rest of you Kiwis skip too... Australia. Slightly lower sheep:man ratio here but the weather is better!

    2. Re:Damnit by mirix · · Score: 1

      French foreign legion used to be the way to go, could try that out.

      --
      Sent from my PDP-11
    3. Re:Damnit by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Northland. All the good weather of Australia, and a far lower aussie:human ratio.

    4. Re:Damnit by Kittenman · · Score: 2, Funny

      Brother, if you're in NZ already it's almost like being dead.

      --
      "The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes" - Winston Churchill
    5. Re:Damnit by fj3k · · Score: 1

      Northland summer: "occasionally rising above 30C"
      No wonder there aren't many Aussies there; the good weather of Australia starts in the 30s.

      --
      Two men claimed to have walked into a bar. Only one had the bruises to prove it.
    6. Re:Damnit by jamesh · · Score: 1, Troll

      Less earthquakes too.

    7. Re:Damnit by phantomfive · · Score: 4, Funny

      Fiji. You can go there and live off the land. There are some isolated islands where there is nothing but a bunch of villagers. They will take pity on your pathetic incompetence and give you food from time to time after you demonstrate that you don't know how to fish or open a coconut. Bonus if you're white because they think white person's flesh is not suitable for human consumption. Of course that is only a theoretical consideration since cannibalism hasn't existed in Fiji for over a century. Or so they say.

      (note: this post is based on a true experience someone told me).

      --
      Qxe4
    8. Re:Damnit by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Brother, if you're in NZ already it's almost like being dead.

      I thought I was dead once. Turns out I was just in Christchurch.

    9. Re:Damnit by dark+grep · · Score: 1

      South Island, dummy.

    10. Re:Damnit by youngone · · Score: 1

      Yes, except that at 26c Northland is very warm, but pleasant. At +34C in Australia, its usually too hot to enjoy. Northland also has no poisonous things unless you count the Katipo spider, but I've never seen one, and I've been looking for 40 years or so. (Not continuously).

    11. Re:Damnit by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Have you tried North Korea? When you disappear there, you're pretty much guaranteed never to be found in any realistic time frame, ever again.

      Of course, there IS that small matter of the funny neighbor with the odd glasses you might meet. He seems to insist that his name is "Dear Leader" or some such nonsense, and from what I've heard, he has a pretty bad temper. You might wish to avoid him.

    12. Re:Damnit by Nursie · · Score: 1

      "At +34C in Australia, its usually too hot to enjoy. "

      Says you! Some of us moved to Australia (from northern europe) specifically because of the heat. Mid 30s is just right. Anything under about 25 now feels a little chilly to me.

    13. Re:Damnit by kingturkey · · Score: 1

      New Zealand was suggested because it's an English speaking country; they speak Dutch in the Netherlands.

    14. Re:Damnit by Ian+Alanai · · Score: 1

      They speak English in New Zealand? Doesn't sound like it.

      --
      Whichever way you look at it, it's true. I'm not.
    15. Re:Damnit by AK+Marc · · Score: 2, Funny

      You are a Kiwi and don't know? Perth, of course. Or Tasmania. Darwin? No one will go there looking for you. And you are already a resident there, sort of.

    16. Re:Damnit by GrumblyStuff · · Score: 2, Funny

      Thank sir/ma'am! You're the ever vigilant patriot every country needs to keep an eye on the most southern continent. We must keep watch in case the Emperor Penguin makes his move on the rest of the world!

    17. Re:Damnit by YoshiDan · · Score: 1, Funny

      ut's true eh cuzzy bro

    18. Re:Damnit by James_Duncan8181 · · Score: 1

      It's one of our (UKian speaking) ex-colonies, and, indeed, is still in the commonwealth as HM Queen is our shared head of state. This currently applies to Antigua and Barbuda, Australia, The Bahamas, Barbados, Belize, Canada, Grenada, Jamaica, New Zealand, Papua New Guinea, Saint Kitts and Nevis, Saint Lucia, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, Solomon Islands, Tuvalu, and (of course) the United Kingdom. Historically, this also applied to India, Burma and Singapore (and too many others to list). The English speaking nature of these states should thus be explained.

      --
      "To any truly impartial person, it would be obvious that I am right."
    19. Re:Damnit by aaron+alderman · · Score: 1

      and more Oprah

    20. Re:Damnit by MrKaos · · Score: 2, Informative

      Bonus if you're white because they think white person's flesh is not suitable for human consumption.

      Funniest thing about this comment is people think it's funny.

      --
      My ism, it's full of beliefs.
    21. Re:Damnit by tehcyder · · Score: 1

      Anywhere.

      --
      To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
    22. Re:Damnit by tehcyder · · Score: 1

      A friend of mine went to Christchurch once. It was shut.

      --
      To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
    23. Re:Damnit by z_gringo · · Score: 1

      Belize

      --
      -- -- Warning. Do not stare directly at the sun.
    24. Re:Damnit by Kemanorel · · Score: 1

      How many of those did you keep for strategic sheep purposes?

      Then again, I can understand some of the islands and the beaches.

      --
      Mess not in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
    25. Re:Damnit by Type44Q · · Score: 1

      Where am I supposed to skip to if I'm starting in .nz?

      The answer should be obvious: Antarctica!

    26. Re:Damnit by h4rr4r · · Score: 1

      I would rather die. Anything over 20C is too hot.

    27. Re:Damnit by Dr+Max · · Score: 1

      you can shave everything.

      --
      Rocket Surgeon.
    28. Re:Damnit by st0nes · · Score: 1

      Less earthquakes too.

      You mean fewer earthquakes.

      --
      Tempora mutantur, nos et mutamur in illis
  3. Doesn't matter by JoshuaZ · · Score: 2, Funny

    Even if you go off the grid the terminators will still track you down.. SkyNet will triumph. Neither Arnold nor Summer Glau can save you.

    1. Re:Doesn't matter by monkeySauce · · Score: 4, Funny

      That's what you think. Summer Glau saved me twice last night, and it was wonderful.

    2. Re:Doesn't matter by antdude · · Score: 1

      Summer Glau can terminate me any time! :D You know, they do have names: Cameron (unknown model) and T-800 (don't think it had a name?).

      --
      Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
    3. Re:Doesn't matter by MaskedSlacker · · Score: 2, Funny

      You know, they do have names:...T-800 (don't think it had a name?).

      So, what you're saying is, they do-don't have names?

    4. Re:Doesn't matter by definate · · Score: 1

      I love seeing the T-1000 in other movies. Me and my friends can never remember his name, and I think we don't want to, so every show/movie he is in we say "Sweet, the T-1000's in this show".

      Even if it's a comedy, I like to pretend that he's just really good a mimicking (or really bad at mimicking) human emotion.

      --
      This is my footer. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
    5. Re:Doesn't matter by antdude · · Score: 1

      Unable to compute.

      --
      Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
  4. Meanwhile, here in New Zealand... by Seriousity · · Score: 4, Funny

    It was revealed today that a member of parliament had been arrested for stealing the identity of a dead baby and thereby falsely obtaining a passport.

    The Government here has a few thousand monkeys that spend all their time browsing through the various redundant overlapping government agency databases to catch you out for identity fraud, benefit fraud, unlawfully riding a train without a ticket or forgetting to tie your shoelaces in the morning. But yeah, we have some nice beaches, so it's worth the risk :D

    --
    This post was made in complete sincere seriousity; as such any attempts to derive humour are doomed to instant failure.
    1. Re:Meanwhile, here in New Zealand... by Psaakyrn · · Score: 1

      They've all that, yet this happened in the 1980s yet only caught wind in 2005... I think you're perfectly safe there. :p

    2. Re:Meanwhile, here in New Zealand... by Troll-Under-D'Bridge · · Score: 1

      Damn and I wanted to emigrate. So any nominess for a nice peaceful country with the strong possibility of anonymity?

    3. Re:Meanwhile, here in New Zealand... by taniwha · · Score: 4, Informative

      Well to be fair he's a nutter, part of a right wing party that seems to have jumped the shark at this point, he was the proponent of our '3 strikes' legislation - when this was announced in parliament today there were shouts of "strike two".

      The main reason why the government started doing that in 2005 was because we had discovered that Israeli spies had been doing exactly that thing, getting fake NZ passports using the birth certificates of dead babies - the police went back through the records to hunt down any such passports, to cancel them to protect our citizens traveling abroad.

    4. Re:Meanwhile, here in New Zealand... by cosm · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Have you seen what the few hundred thousand monkeys here in the US has been doing lately? They make more than the private sector, apparently bean counting is a lucrative globally lucrative business.

      And I guarantee most of that extra income goes to...hookers and blackjack!

      --
      'We are trying to prove ourselves wrong as quickly as possible, because only in that way can we find progress.' RPF
    5. Re:Meanwhile, here in New Zealand... by Ian+Alanai · · Score: 3, Funny

      Costa Rica, it has no army. And a good dose of tranquilo. And a Caribbean coast. And Latino lovers. And volcanoes, but they are very relaxed and not all uptight like the NZ ones.

      --
      Whichever way you look at it, it's true. I'm not.
    6. Re:Meanwhile, here in New Zealand... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Informative

      he was the proponent of our '3 strikes' legislation

      To clarify, he was behind the "3 strikes violent crimes GOTO jail" and not the "3 strikes copyright infringement GOTO dark ages"

    7. Re:Meanwhile, here in New Zealand... by stephanruby · · Score: 1

      Don't worry, it's not like anyone is planning to go to New Zealand. Faking a move to New Zealand can be just as good as faking ones own death.

    8. Re:Meanwhile, here in New Zealand... by cayenne8 · · Score: 1
      "The main reason why the government started doing that in 2005 was because we had discovered that Israeli spies had been doing exactly that thing, getting fake NZ passports using the birth certificates of dead babies..."

      I seem to recall years back..there were a whole litany of things you could do with "dead babies"....?

      --
      Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.........
    9. Re:Meanwhile, here in New Zealand... by Actually,+I+do+RTFA · · Score: 1

      They make more than the private sector, apparently bean counting is a lucrative globally lucrative business.

      Not once you normalize the data for skillset and experience. Ironically, Republicans are usually careful to do this so gender pay disparity disappears, but not when it supports their theory. The same is true of Democrats in reverse.

      --
      Your ad here. Ask me how!
  5. Just a tip by Kindgott · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Don't buy this book on Amazon using your credit card if you do intend on disappearing. It might tip off anyone who does come looking for you.

    --
    If there's anything more important than my ego around here, I want it caught and shot immediately.
  6. And if you want to be dead by MichaelSmith · · Score: 1

    Then NZ has great natural disasters.

    As well as great beaches.

    1. Re:And if you want to be dead by Heytunk · · Score: 4, Funny

      Unlike the rest of the world New Zealanders have a knack for surviving natural disaster so we have to find other ways to kill ourselves.

    2. Re:And if you want to be dead by TallGuyRacer · · Score: 2, Informative

      Nobody dies in our natural disasters!

    3. Re:And if you want to be dead by MichaelSmith · · Score: 1

      Thats my point. Its a great place to make people think you are dead, or at least missing.

    4. Re:And if you want to be dead by Spad · · Score: 2, Funny

      Even your natural disasters are boring :)

  7. Time & money by wen1454 · · Score: 2, Interesting

    The average person does not have the time to create disinformation or the resources to move to New Zealand. On the other hand governments and large organizations will find disinformation strategies very useful. It is only a matter of time before sites like wikileaks are inverted.

    1. Re:Time & money by tomhudson · · Score: 1

      How are you supposed to disappear and live on cash only and not touch any of these while being legal at the same time?

      If you're faking your death, "being legal" is the least of your worries.

      FTFA:

      Ahearn says that the reasons men and women want to disappear are usually very different. For men, it is often finances such as if he lost everything but has some seed money to start over, or if he has come into money and wants to disappear before family and friends attempt to suck him dry. Dangerous situations are usually the reason women want to disappear, such as when she is being stalked or in an abusive relationship.

      If you've ever been stalked, disappearing is very tempting.

    2. Re:Time & money by cayenne8 · · Score: 1
      "If you're faking your death, "being legal" is the least of your worries. "

      Is it actually illegal to fake your death??

      --
      Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.........
    3. Re:Time & money by tomhudson · · Score: 1
      Yes, it is.

      Publishing a fake death notice, for example, in the local newspaper. The publication of the death notice is part of the public record.

  8. iendedi by istartedi · · Score: 1

    iendedi. s/istartedi/iendedi/g. Whoah!

    --
    For all intensive purposes, "whom" is no longer a word. That begs the question, "who cares"?
  9. Ad for his book by aztektum · · Score: 5, Insightful

    This whole 'interview' seemed very shallow with no detail. The interviewer kept pestering about illegal things which he kept saying "No, don't do that." and I kept saying "Well what would one do then?" Finally at the end he mentions his book with a link to where you can buy it.

    So, what is the point of this article then?

    --
    :: aztek ::
    No sig for you!!
    1. Re:Ad for his book by maztuhblastah · · Score: 1

      So, what is the point of this article then?

      Well...

      Finally at the end he mentions his book with a link to where you can buy it.

    2. Re:Ad for his book by tomhudson · · Score: 1

      Here's 50 ways. HTH.

  10. You hide in crowds not underpopulated countries. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Informative

    NZ may be a great place to end up but it has a first-world intelligence and police service with very good databases. The French military naively thought they could wander round NZ in the '80s with no one noticing but just about every step these secret agents took was remembered, videotaped and documented by sticky-nosed busy-bodies. The best place to hide is in a crowd and with NZ being so underpopulated, strangers stick out.

  11. Re:You hide in crowds not underpopulated countries by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Informative

    NZ may be a great place to end up but it has a first-world intelligence and police service with very good databases.

    Oblig. Tui ad "Yeah, right!"

    http://www.stuff.co.nz/dominion-post/politics/4124806/Inquiry-into-SIS-role

  12. Actually, what you want is ... by PPH · · Score: 5, Interesting

    ... a bunch of phoney identities under which to wreak havoc. Meanwhile, keep your real name and reputation clean. When one of the 'evil' identities gets into trouble, kill it off.

    Set these up early in life and keep them going with minor activity. Loan a fake SSN out to an illegal laborer to stay on the books. Then, when you hit it big in Vegas, you record the income under the false ID. That person 'dies' (Hey, it was a Mexican gardener anyway), leaving no trace of the cash. Party with it using the next ID, etc.

    --
    Have gnu, will travel.
    1. Re:Actually, what you want is ... by nedlohs · · Score: 1

      That seems like a lot of effort for a very unlikely pay off.

    2. Re:Actually, what you want is ... by PPH · · Score: 1

      If you hit it big, you pay the taxes on the spot. At least that's how it works at the local casino.

      Its not about breaking the law or avoiding taxes (like TFA said), its about making those after tax funds untraceable. If you win them as yourself, they know you've got the cash. If its won under the name of Allen Smithee and he (appears to) have spent it all on hookers and blow and then subsequently was lost at sea in a mysterious drowning, the trail is cold.

      --
      Have gnu, will travel.
  13. Let's fake a birth online. by CrisRonk · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Why not fake a birth and give this person a unique identity online? Complete with pictures, tweets, Amazon account, everything.

    --
    CrisR
  14. The Geek Plays Hide and Seek by westlake · · Score: 5, Interesting

    New Zealand has a population of 4 million.

    73% of unmixed European descent. Demographics of New Zealand

    Metro New York City has a population of 19 million, and is ethnically, religiously, and culturally diverse.

    Approximately 36% of the city's population is foreign-born. In New York no single country or region of origin dominates. The ten largest countries of origin for modern day immigration are the Dominican Republic, China, Jamaica, Guyana, Mexico, Ecuador, Haiti, Trinidad and Tobago, Colombia and Russia. The largest ethnic groups in New York City are African American, Italian, Jewish, and Irish.
    The New York City metropolitan area is home to the largest Jewish community outside Israel, and the city proper contains the largest Jewish community in the world. It is also home to nearly a quarter of the nation's South Asians, the largest African American community of any city in the country, and comprised as of 2008 a population of 659,596 ethnic Chinese. the largest outside of Asia.
    New York City

    The Islamic population in 2004-2005 was around 600,000. Columbia Presents First-Ever Study on Muslim Political, Social, Religious Identity in NYC

    Manhattan has 354 million square feet of office space.

    But New York remains importantly, if less visibly, a manufacturing center. There are no unmarketable skills, however obscure.

    The fool on the run takes to the back roads, the Pacific, the Klondike - where the youngest child will point him out as the stranger. The one who doesn't belong. Doesn't dress the part. Doesn't act the part.

    1. Re:The Geek Plays Hide and Seek by DerekLyons · · Score: 1

      But New York remains importantly, if less visibly, a manufacturing center. There are no unmarketable skills, however obscure.

      However, if you want to remain cash only and off the radar - New York has few marketable skills, few places you'd really want to live, etc... etc...

    2. Re:The Geek Plays Hide and Seek by nedlohs · · Score: 1

      And if you are a white guy of European descent?

      And no the youngest child is not going to point you out in NZ - tourists and migrants aren't uncommon at all.

  15. Not Australia by Dr+Max · · Score: 1, Interesting

    The problem with Australia, if you can get here (kiwis let every one in) is we have so many more asshole cops that want to check your licence at every set of traffic lights. Not to mention the obscene terror laws (that they use on anyone they want, no need for a search warrant in Australia), or the random pedestrian frisking and pockets searches.

    --
    Rocket Surgeon.
    1. Re:Not Australia by jamesh · · Score: 1, Interesting

      The problem with Australia, if you can get here (kiwis let every one in) is we have so many more asshole cops that want to check your licence at every set of traffic lights

      I've been driving for around 16 years now, and spend more time on the road than most people would. In all that time, aside from random breath tests (where they didn't ask to see my license anyway), i've been stopped around 3 times...

      The first was for no obvious reason, the policeman asked if i'd been drinking, didn't bother doing a breath test, and sent me on my way despite the fact that my car was obviously not quite up to roadworthy (bald rear tyres for a start). Didn't even think about asking for my license.

      The second was because I had an expired registration sticker on my car (company car). They asked me a few questions and sent me on my way. Didn't ask for my license.

      The third was when I had a really bad headache and a car pulled up behind me with very bright headlights which made it worse. I accelerated away very hard and it turned out the guy behind me was a policeman. Pulled me over, asked to see my license, then sent me on my way. No fine or anything but I didn't actually break the law apart from possibly reckless driving.

      Not to mention the obscene terror laws (that they use on anyone they want, no need for a search warrant in Australia), or the random pedestrian frisking and pockets searches.

      I've only once been pulled aside by the police while a pedestrian. I looked vaguely like someone they were looking for who'd been up to some pretty serious no-good. They asked for some ID to check that I wasn't the person they were looking for and sent me on my way.

      I know there are bad cops out there but it seems they only ever bother people with a "friend-of-a-friend" or "distant-relative-of-a-friend" relationship to people I know.

      Or maybe you live in or around one of the major cities? I hear it's a bit worse there.

    2. Re:Not Australia by Viridae · · Score: 1

      I live in a major ciy. I see fewer police, have had fewer dealings with the police while living here than when I lived in a regional centre.

    3. Re:Not Australia by Ian+Alanai · · Score: 4, Funny

      And the poisonous spiders that hide in the dunnies. And the poisonous snakes that hide in your shoes. And the poisonous jellyfish that hide in your togs. And the poisonous crocodiles that hide in the sewers. By god, it's no wonder they drink so much.

      --
      Whichever way you look at it, it's true. I'm not.
    4. Re:Not Australia by Dr+Max · · Score: 1
      Your city sounds great I’m going to move there. A certain Queensland city that will remain nameless has gone crazy with power. Your 16 years of driving is also an advantage cause a lot of these laws came in recently and the cops target a younger crowd (although they seem fairly indiscriminate when it comes to the pedestrian searches here).

      Bad cops should be shot (with a camera).

      --
      Rocket Surgeon.
    5. Re:Not Australia by dintech · · Score: 1

      Hmm, you need to bazooka some trucks and get your GTA stars up to 3 for any decent response.

    6. Re:Not Australia by nedlohs · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Are you "of middle eastern appearance"? Are you under 25?

      No on both? Then yes the Autralian police are fine and upstanding providing a wonderful service to all Australians.

    7. Re:Not Australia by orgelspieler · · Score: 1

      The kiwis certainly don't "let every one in." They have a points system. It helps to be an English-speaking, highly-skilled professional. But even then you're not guaranteed permanent residence. Granted, something like 20% of their population is immigrants, but they don't let everybody in.

    8. Re:Not Australia by cayenne8 · · Score: 1
      "And the poisonous spiders that hide in the dunnies. And the poisonous snakes that hide in your shoes. And the poisonous jellyfish that hide in your togs.

      Ok, gotta ask, what are "dunnies" and "togs"?

      --
      Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.........
    9. Re:Not Australia by StikyPad · · Score: 1

      dunny [dn]
      n pl -nies
      Austral and NZ informal
          an outside lavatory

      tog (tg, tôg) Informal
      n.
      1. togs Clothes: gardening togs.
      2. A coat or cloak.

    10. Re:Not Australia by Dr+Max · · Score: 2, Informative

      Dunny is any toilet in Australia, and togs are swimwear which is where our other nick name for budgie smugglers, DTs came from (dick togs).

      --
      Rocket Surgeon.
    11. Re:Not Australia by Dr+Max · · Score: 1

      Ah yes reasonable suspicion. What constitutes reasonable suspicion I ask? Is it that the cops can see drugs, money and guns in the car (yes)? Is it that you took to long to pull over (obviously you were disposing of evidence)? How about if you get a little pissed off at a 65 in a 60 zone ticket (obviously your on meth)? How about if your too relaxed about getting a ‘move on’ order from an officer (obviously a stoner)? No offence but I would rather an educated, intelligent person that is an expert on the law make these decisions. Not some guy that got into the police force by qualifying for the ‘life experience’ clause (20 years of taxi driving); who then has to make a decision in the heat of the moment, possibly with adrenalin in his system (which decrease the already average IQ by half), and it’s the end of his shift so a search would mean overtime. The worst part about your comment is you freely admit its bad in NSW but you don’t care because it hasn’t happened to you yet. What happens when reasonable suspicion is because you visited a certain website, or because of how much you download?

      --
      Rocket Surgeon.
    12. Re:Not Australia by F'Nok · · Score: 1

      Not true any more.

      In Victoria police can now search you for weapons, any time, without reason or suspicion.
      It's an absurd law and needs to be revoked.

    13. Re:Not Australia by chromas · · Score: 1

      Bad cops should be shot (with a camera).

    14. Re:Not Australia by mjwx · · Score: 1

      And the poisonous spiders that hide in the dunnies. And the poisonous snakes that hide in your shoes. And the poisonous jellyfish that hide in your togs. And the poisonous crocodiles that hide in the sewers. By god, it's no wonder they drink so much.

      Sharks that can follow you 200 KM on shore, the dreaded Hoop Snake not to mention the suicidal and deadly Koala Drop Bear.

      Strewth, it's time for me lunchtime beer.

      --
      Calling someone a "hater" only means you can not rationally rebut their argument.
  16. Re:Destination by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Informative

    Meeheheheeehhh, that's a shaky plan.

    Suck it up, pussy.

    We don't just have earthquakes you know, we also have volcanoes, tsunamis and the occasional strong breeze. I'd stay away if I were you.

  17. Facebook could do it all by Lord_of_the_nerf · · Score: 5, Funny

    It's easy.

    Lord_of_the_nerf has changed his relationship status to Single
    Lord_of_the_nerf likes The Cure and Why Does Everyone Who Loves Me Leave???
    Lord_of_the_nerf's current status: *sigh* WHEN DOES THE HURTING STOP???
    Lord_of_the_nerf likes Schick Razors and Warm Baths

    1. Re:Facebook could do it all by sco08y · · Score: 2, Informative

      Lord_of_the_nerf likes Schick Razors and Warm Baths

      You might have better luck with Dovo.

  18. Interesting twist by Target+Practice · · Score: 4, Funny

    And here I thought social media was used to fake a life...

    --
    There's a 68.71% chance you're right.
  19. Re:It's a trap! by Vegemeister · · Score: 1

    Or use a black & white printer.

  20. Re:You hide in crowds not underpopulated countries by socceroos · · Score: 1

    NZ does have one of the 7 bases of Echelon, but apart from that, their intelligence agencies suck.

  21. More importantly by obarthelemy · · Score: 1

    it mainly helps you fake your own life.

    --
    The Cloud - because you don't care if your apps and data are up in the air.
  22. FUBS by DynaSoar · · Score: 2, Interesting

    "We are inundated with warnings that social media is systematically stripping away our privacy."

    We are inundated with hair-on-fire cliches being used to preface a forced association between someone's inconsequential issue and some hot button topics and trigger words, in order to convince us that the association is valid and the issue is significant. Needing to use these is a good sign that the ensuing issue is too insubstantial to stand on its own.

    Fear, uncertainty and uh-huh.

    --
    "I may be synthetic, but I'm not stupid." -- Bishop 341-B
  23. Au contraire by petes_PoV · · Score: 1

    Or buy the book and do exactly the opposite to everything it recommends.

    --
    politicians are like babies' nappies: they should both be changed regularly and for the same reasons
    1. Re:Au contraire by Shabazz+Rabbinowitz · · Score: 1

      Or buy the book and do exactly the opposite to everything it recommends.

      So, stay exactly where you are, then?

  24. Do me a favore by arndawg · · Score: 1

    Don't forget to add i'm so sorry 3>

  25. Redundancy by Stele · · Score: 1

    One can legally disappear through the use of corporations and offshore corporations

    I read about this in that memo I got from the Department of Redundancy Department.

  26. Re:Obviously by nedlohs · · Score: 2, Interesting

    many people of "middle eastern appearance" have never set foot anywhere near the middle east, which would make "staying" there rather difficult.

    Take me for example. I have 0% middle eastern descent - I have Irish, English, a tiny bit of Scandanavian, two of my family tree paths are first fleeters, and yet I sometimes get asked where I'm from with Greece and "the middle east" being their two guesses.

  27. New Zealand -- yeah, baby! by Rudisaurus · · Score: 1

    I mean, the place just rocks!

    --
    licet differant, aequabitur
  28. Re:Obviously by nedlohs · · Score: 1

    What my name is has no bearing on what people think I look like given they don't know my name at the time.

    My first name is a standard English fist name, well actually it's Hebrew I guess - in the set of names like Daniel, Jacob, and Samuel; which don't really have a middle eastern connotation in English currently.

    And my last name is English, and was an English name from before the Norman Conquest.