Slashdot Mirror
Facebook Knows When You'll Get Dumped
Pickens writes "Cnet reports that according to a graphic making the rounds online that uses Facebook status updates to chart what time of year people are splitting up, there are three big spikes on the calendar for breakups — just after Valentine's Day, just before spring break and two weeks before Christmas. British journalist and graphic designer David McCandless, who specializes in showcasing data in visual ways, compiled the chart after scraping 10,000 Facebook status updates for the phrases 'breakup' and 'broken up.' 'Might I suggest that, immediately after Valentine's, some women might be casting men from their sight, appalled that their lovers could think of nothing more romantic than roses from the supermarket and dinner at Outback Steakhouse,' writes Chris Matyszczyk. 'Continuing with this obviously accurate analysis, perhaps it's men who do more of the dumping just before spring break, as for some —however unfairly — their main concern lies in how their girl will look on the beach.'"
No joke. Wake me up when it tells me when I'll get hooked up in the first place.
THL phish sticks
So, what did YOU do for your man this Valentines, ladies?
Give him a present he both needs and loves: FRIGGING DIRECTION.
DON'T go "if you really knew me, you'd know what I want". ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT.
OK?
ffs...
If you aren't that into her/him, you don't want to spend the holidays with her/him. You don't want to visit your parents with her in tow, or visit his parents. You don't want to spend a bunch of money on a gift. You don't want to deal with a long-distance relationship for winter break, if you're in college. If there's a spring break spike then there will be a winter break spike.
Wake me up when it tells me when I'll get hooked up in the first place.
You will if you really wanted to. But what I noticed with most geeks is that they don't care. They wouldn't mind it, but don't care enough to really go for it.
your not reading between the lines here.... if you read between the lines it says to do something REALLY romantic for a chick right AFTER V-Day or before spring break... or 2 weeks before X-Mas, and you can steal her away from that Jock asshole..... (a side note, you may consider renewing your health/life insurance as well before you do this)
Noone writes jokes in base 13!
I always thought the traditional breakup time was after Christmas, when you'd spent far too much time with her and her family and ended up never wanting to see them again and the only reason she was with you over the festive period was to avoid being alone?
Actually, it's not even that complicated. I'm not sure whether adding in third- and fourth-order effects would increase accuracy or just muddy the waters, so let's take the simplest possible option: our old friends Alice, Bob, and Charlie.
Suppose we start with Alice and Bob, who are presumed to be in a relationship with each other by virtue of frequent affectionate (as defined by keywords/scoring) communications with each other (both public and "private"). (e.g. "Alice u were so hot last nite!" "Luv u BOB"!)
Then, observe a slight dropoff in affectionately-loaded keywords in the communications between Alice and Bob, and a spike in communications between Alice and Charlie. Furthermore, observe that Alice and Charlie's communications patterns have gone from "all/mostly in public, no/few affectionate keywords" to "no/minimal change in public communications, but a spike in 'private' communications".
Furthermore, weight the language and tone in Alice and Charlie's public and private communications separately: If she's saying "'sup charlie" in public, and "OMG so good to see u again missed u so much" in private, the difference between the emotional tone of the Alice/Charlie public conversation and the Alice/Charlie private conversation is yet another big red flag.
Facebook knows damn well when someone's about to get dumped. It's just not telling. (Unless it wants to monetize it by feeding Bob more ads for dating services the week before Valentine's Day, and Alice and Charlie start getting ads for restaurant reservations.)
"Might I suggest that, immediately after Valentine's, some women might be casting men from their sight, appalled that their lovers could think of nothing more romantic than roses from the supermarket and dinner at Outback Steakhouse?"
If your Girl is that shallow.... It was a GOOD THING(tm) that she "dumped you".
Honestly, some guys cant afford more than that on a silly holiday created by a greeting card company. IF she wants Diamonds on Valentines day, Kick that gold digger to the curb pronto!
Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
Exactly this. If you've been juggling two or more affairs all year, it's bound to come to a head on Valentine's day. Try explaining to the person who thinks you are their exclusive lover that you are aren't going to spend Valentine's with them. Christmas is easier because you can always use your family as an excuse.
Ahhh, misogyny coupled with libertarian delusions of grandeur. A Slashdot perfect storm!
(-1, Raw and Uncut is the only way to read)
All men want women to change too.
The foundation of a good relationship is compromise.
All people want their partners to change. Some are just more self aware than others.
- None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton
Programming is easier. It is very logical. If something does not work properly, while sometimes the issue might not be clear to me, but once I know exactly what the problem is (like a bug), I can directly fix it on the spot. For a girl, if you have an issue like you love playing Halo for 4 hours a day, even if you fix that, most girls will stay mad even after the issue is fixed. With a computer, I have 100% control of what I want to happen and how it will happen.
Girls take too long
The world is how you make it
Yeah women are great until you fall in love with them, then they become a fucking nightmare. Completely illogical, with the ability to turn any word or phrase around to whatever bogus point they're trying to argue for. They're a serious distraction to getting things done. Posting anon for obvious reasons.
No. Women spend effort in the relationship trying to get their man to change. Men spend their effort in the relationship to get their woman to not change.
Xenon, where's my money? -Borno
When they do go for it and are STILL unsuccessful, then they're just fed the line "oh it won't happen when you're looking for it..."
Libertarians do not believe in might makes right, everyone else does. That's why they say you need the state to take care of you, because they believe nothing else is possible. Libertarians perfer ownership to rent, and agreement to compromise. You say that makes them bad people, but I prefer an honest asshole to a dishonest good citizen.
ahh the "i can get her from the jock asshole if she sees my sensitive side" strategy.
Take it from someone who was "that guy" for the better part of a decade, It's doesn't work.
She's dating the jock asshole because she LIKES jock assholes. That's a point that most introverted shy nerdly types never understand. They don't understand why the girl of their affections would date such a worthless dipshit, so they do their best to be the opposite of that dipshit, never realizing that they're pushing themselves into the friend zone by consciously choosing to be the opposite of what the girl wants.
She knows what you're doing. She's not an idiot (and if she is really that dumb, why do you want her?), and she recognizes your efforts a lot more than you think she does. A lot of girls dig the jock jerks. live with it. some will grow out of it, some wont. if they are going to grow out of it, you can't hurry that up. just wait it out and stop trying so hard.
Yes, but I prefer an honest good citizen. We don't want "The State" to take care of us. We are the state, and we formed it to keep assholes from getting their way. We take care of each other, because we need to band together to protect ourselves from the powerful who would exploit us. Remember, "anarchy" does not mean "no state." It means "no rulers." "No State" would be written "anocracy."
Libertarians prefer absolute property rights, where each man is the petty tyrant of his tiny domain. They love rent, it's a great source of income.
But, what is really telling in your defense of libertarianism, the point that absolutely and unequivocally proves my point, is where you say, "Libertarians prefer... agreement to compromise."
Normal people reach agreement through compromise.
- None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton
Honestly, I was that way too for WAY too long. Then, I started to think like you, and the world started changing for me. I don't chase women anymore. I approach them, and give them a look at who I am, and what I have to offer, and they should be so lucky to hook up with me. I let them know I'm a fun guy, I enjoy life, and if they're good to me, I'll take them along for the ride.
But, I don't supplicate her...I'll happily let them pay for their own way or even buy ME stuff. I get no 'rejection' because, I really don't give a shit if they react or not, there's always another one better looking and a better person just around the corner. You never take things personally. Once you start to think this way, and get over approachment anxiety, it gets much easier in life. Once over that, going for, going out with and enjoying women gets a lot better, and actually becomes fun.
I was an AFC for too long years ago...
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.........
Mod parent up. A post from cayenne8 somewhere above extolled the values of "[learning] how [women] think" by listening to the PUA-types. After many years of being frustrated, I tried this approach. I read "The Game", started dressing a certain way, used the tips from the book and all in all tried to "alpha" myself up. To a certain extent it worked. I was actually able to talk to girls at bars and parties and get them to laugh at my jokes and succeed at getting some numbers and some casual making out only an hour or two after meeting them, but I noticed that as soon as I let the "character" I was playing slip, they would quickly become uninterested. At first this frustrated me a lot, but then I realized that this was perfectly natural since what I was doing was deceiving them. The way I was acting and presenting myself wasn't me trying to put my best foot forward (which we all do and is actually a good thing), it was me trying to convince these women that I was a completely different kind of guy. Fast forward a few months to a blind date I went on. I try my usual spiel and it seems to hold her attention, but she doesn't seem very sure of me. Then the facade slips, but this time the girl actually likes me better when I'm just being my usual, nerdy self. Fast forward to now and I have a loving, year-long relationship that isn't going anywhere because it's based on the fact that we actually, you know, like each other and have shared interests rather than her liking some persona I'm trying to adopt.
BenEnglishAtHome's story about his friend's wife might well be a similar phenomena. Just like I was pretending to be a boisterous, loud, type a, alpha male, his friend's wife could have been pretending to have a much bigger sexual appetite than she really did because she thought that all women needed to do that to attract men and when the facade came off, no one was happy. I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's a good idea to dress nicely, be interesting and generally try to be the most attractive person you can be, but that trying to play psychological tricks on women (which is, after all, what the PUAs are pretty much advocating) might work for shot term liaisons, but it will never be the foundation of a good relationship and you may find out that she's putting on just as much of a show as you are.
She knows what you're doing. She's not an idiot (and if she is really that dumb, why do you want her?).
I was totally with you until then. Clearly they want her because she is hot. Duh. Her intelligence probably has nothing to do with it. This was a concept I wrestled with as a teenager. I operated under the assumption that anything I wanted so badly had to be worthy of that desire. Therefore, I projected the illusion of intelligence onto beautiful girls, and ended up surprised time and again when they would date the most idiotic jerks they could find, and generally competed with one another to make the stupidest possible decisions. Lesson I learned is that those girls are just as bad as the guys they date, only I was as blind to their faults as they were to those guys' faults.
Girls don't want to fuck nice, sensitive, shy guys, they want to be friends with them.
And (speaking as one of those guys), we want to be friends with them, too. In fact, we might almost begin to think that we could actually stand to live with them for some extended length of time. Crazy, I know.
It’s just that we can’t quite grasp the (to us, at least) mind-bogglingly stupid idea that you shouldn’t get into a relationship with someone who’s your friend. That should be the first component of a relationship!
Who do they want to marry? A stranger? An asshole? Someone they can’t stand? Their enemy? Do they want their marriage to consist of sleeping in separate beds, having a few affairs, and getting divorced? That’s what they’re setting themselves up for.
And we wonder why the divorce rate is so high...
Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.