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US Army Develops Tooth Cleaning Gum

pryoplasm writes "To help deal with some of the hygiene issues on the battlefield, the US Army worked on a gum to take the place of brushing your teeth. This might be eventually released and marketed to the public. While there are many gums out there that aren't so detrimental to your teeth, this one promises actually to help them out."

12 of 160 comments (clear)

  1. This amazing new invention by tmosley · · Score: 1, Funny

    Amazing, they invented a gum that acts like gum!

    It freshens your breath and whitens your teeth!

    AMAZING!

  2. The Army's New Motto by kenrblan · · Score: 1, Funny

    "We came to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and we're all out of gum." Duke Nukem would be proud.

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    Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler. - Albert Einstein
  3. I Read That as "Gun" For A Second There by Greyfox · · Score: 4, Funny

    A tooth cleaning gun would be way more cool, and would probably strike a lot more fear in the hearts of our enemies. God knows if I had a choice between a sit down with a military dentist and being waterboarded, I'd take the waterboarding as the more humane alternative (I'm an Air Force brat and the worst pain I've experienced in my 40 years of life so far was at the hands of an Air Force Dentist when I was 11 or 12.)

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    I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?

  4. Re:Sugarless gum??!? by Jah-Wren+Ryel · · Score: 4, Funny

    "The report also explains that US Army researchers developed a protein that attacks the bacteria that causes plaque, which can lead to gum disease. This protein can easily be incorporated into the gum, making it a serious alternative to toothbrush and toothpaste, the researchers claim. "

    Lets hope ingesting the protein doesn't have any harmful side-effects, like priapism.

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    When information is power, privacy is freedom.
  5. Re:Oblig. Futurama reference by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Why don't you just chew on a piece of ham?

  6. Re:Oblig. Futurama reference by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    If the army is handing it out, is it ham-flavored?

    Judging by the Military's approach to field rations so far, I'm guessing it tastes like fermented cardboard, and has at least a 50/50 chance of causing constipation.

  7. Re:Article dated 21st Dec 2005? by rabiddeity · · Score: 4, Funny

    Indeed, this story is a bit long in the tooth.

  8. Crooked teeth by Noam.of.Doom · · Score: 2, Funny

    There is also the fact that frequently chewing gives you crooked teeth. I wonder if they started developing a battlefield alternative for braces.

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    It is the universe that makes fun of us all.
  9. hygiene issues IS news for nerds by G3ckoG33k · · Score: 3, Funny

    When they help deal with some of the hygiene issues, it IS news for nerds; stuff that matters!!!

  10. Really? No link checking at ALL? by CyberTech · · Score: 2, Funny

    US army develops tooth-cleaning gum
    By Simon Pitman, 21-Dec-2005

    -=- 2005-=- Maybe it's been stuck in the queue this whole time?

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    -- CyberTech
  11. Re:Robots don't have teeth... by jamesh · · Score: 2, Funny

    safe at home, remote controlling robotic drones -- toothpaste only yards away.

    a job that they'll then outsource to a country where they don't have to pay their 'soldiers' so much. In order to keep productivity up, some real soldiers will be required to stand guard with great big whips. Those soldiers will need gum - no time to brush your teeth when there's whipping to be done!

  12. Re:Nothing new... by imakemusic · · Score: 4, Funny

    Yes. They were originally designed for killing people but were later found to have a wide range of household uses.

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    Brain surgery - it's not rocket science!