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TSA Pats Down 3-Year-Old

3-year-old Mandy Simon started crying when her teddy bear had to go through the X-ray machine at airport security in Chattanooga, Tenn. She was so upset that she refused to go calmly through the metal detector, setting it off twice. Agents then informed her parents that she "must be hand-searched." The subsequent TSA employee pat down of the screaming child was captured by her father, who happens to be a reporter, on his cell phone. The video have left some questioning why better procedures for children aren't in place. I, for one, feel much safer knowing the TSA is protecting us from impressionable minds warped by too much Dora the Explorer.

25 of 1,135 comments (clear)

  1. Metal detector by Arancaytar · · Score: 2, Funny

    she refused to go calmly through the metal detector, setting it off twice

    Does she have some kind of mutant superpower where emotional distress causes her to manifest lumps of metal inside her body?

    As for the rest of this, yeah, this shit is sick. Pat-downs were invasive even before, and now they've turned them into non-consensual erotic massages.

  2. Re:What's the deal with the rush of TSA stories re by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    In other news, it is now possible for an individual to have their NAMBLA dues deducted directly from their TSA paycheck.

  3. Re:Lots of pilots and flight attendants... by blair1q · · Score: 4, Funny

    And there's a reason for that. Check out the "buxom younger woman" in this video:

    http://www.boingboing.net/2010/11/16/the-inevitable-taiwa.html

    There are those who say the terrorists have already won.

  4. Re:What's the deal with the rush of TSA stories re by Sponge+Bath · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...the pat-down is now an "enhanced" pat-down.

    The worst part is when the TSA goon sniffs his fingers after fondling people's genitals.
    They must be sniffing for explosive residue.

  5. Terrorist anchor babies by fermion · · Score: 4, Funny
    Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) has stated on multiple occasions that illegal aliens come to the US to have babies which they then raise to be terrorists, or use as human bombs that will pass security checks simply because the baby has a US papers, even though the parents are from terrorist countries, for instance, to choose a random country that is so dangerous that US citizens are prevented travel, Cuba. Recall that n the later part of 1962 Cuba tried to nuke the US out of existence. While we might suspect a Cuban adult, and do a virtual strip search, who would suspect that a Cuban baby was filled with plastique. Clearly, we must search babies, because, as was said in congress, if given a choice people would chose a thoroughly screened plane than an completely unscreened plane.

    And if we think this anchor baby threat is to be taken lightly, realize that we have at least on anchor baby in congress. This anchor baby has access to the top leaders of the US and all our security plans. In one step, he could give Cuba, who is still under the same government that wanted to kill every man, woman and child in US, the means and opportunity to kill every man, woman, and child in the US.

    --
    "She's a scientist and a lesbian. She's not going to let it slide." Orphan Black
  6. I never have problems with TSA anymore by Vinegar+Joe · · Score: 5, Funny

    I simply wear a kilt and go commando.

    --
    "The average reporter we talk to is 27 years old......They literally know nothing." - Ben Rhodes
    1. Re:I never have problems with TSA anymore by MortimerGraves · · Score: 2, Funny

      I have this mental image of the look on a TSA employee's face as they see the be-kilted bandsman approaching and realize that the rest of the pipe band is waiting in the line.

      "Och nae laddie, nothing's worn under the kilt... we're all traditionalists!" :)

    2. Re:I never have problems with TSA anymore by Lemmy+Caution · · Score: 4, Funny

      Ah, it's the True Scotsman Phallacy.

  7. Re:What's the deal with the rush of TSA stories re by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    It's a big deal for me. Heck, it's the only reason I fly!

  8. Re:What's the deal with the rush of TSA stories re by Whyte+Panther · · Score: 2, Funny

    I'm not sure how I'd handle a pat-down from a Marlon Brando lookalike.

  9. Re:My First Cavity Search by tmosley · · Score: 5, Funny

    I, for one, won't feel safe until we replace all TSA workers with members of the clergy. They are the only ones we can trust our children with.

  10. Re:Terrorism is EXTREMELY RARE by antifoidulus · · Score: 3, Funny

    Obligatory Dave Attell:

    "If you are really afraid of terrorism, don't travel by airplane, travel by bus. You ever been to a bus station? People walking around all dirty, in rags. A terrorist goes to a bus station and sees this and thinks, 'damn, someone already did up this joint'"

  11. Re:What's the deal with the rush of TSA stories re by rleibman · · Score: 5, Funny

    You're right. The whole thing is security theatre at its finest. That's been true for years. Does anybody really think that an old ladies sewing needles are a threat to the airplane?

    Of course they are, they could knit an Afghan... thanks, I'll be here all night.

  12. Re:TSA applying pressure to submit to AIT by jtownatpunk.net · · Score: 4, Funny

    OMG, you just gave me a good idea. As soon as the screener's hand "meets resistance", curl up in a ball and start crying, "No, Father Jim, no!" Probably get a meal voucher and a free flight.

  13. Theatre ? by alexhs · · Score: 2, Funny

    Does anybody really think that an old ladies sewing needles are a threat to the airplane?

    Didn't you hear about the Sleeping Beauty fairy tale ? The needle is poisoned. Excepted that instead of a 115-year-old lady looking like a 15-year-old girl, you would have a 15-year-old-girl looking like a 115-year-old lady.

    --
    I have discovered a truly marvelous proof of killer sig, which this margin is too narrow to contain.
  14. Terrorists Scaring America by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    I've always wondered why terrorists didn't just blow themselves up in the airport at the screening center. Just as effective, just as terrifying, etc. However, I just realized why they don't... They'd be killing their allies, the TSA! What's the definition of a terrorist anyways? Something about striking fear into the hearts of people? What's the TSA doing? Hmmm...

  15. TSA has a new mascot by Phizzle · · Score: 3, Funny

    its the PEDOBEAR!

    --
    I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered. My life is my own.
  16. Re:Does this count as molestation? by Stregano · · Score: 2, Funny

    I am already one step ahead of you and do it whenever I fly "just in case"

    --
    The world is how you make it
  17. Re:What's the deal with the rush of TSA stories re by Obfuscant · · Score: 3, Funny
    If you set the metal detector off it's never a "oh, must be your shoes, you can go." It's always, take whatever you have on off, and if you set it off a 2nd time you get the full pat down.

    Before the "take off your shoes" nonsense, I used to wear lightweight hiking shoes when flying. Better ankle support. So, one time I'm flying out of PDX (Portland OR) and I go through the metal detector -- BING BING!

    I get wanded, and when they get to my feet, BING BING! They make me take them off and then carry them over to another Xray machine. The dope is telling me "your shoes have metal plates in them. " I know that is ridiculous. It's a lie. I say so. The dope tells me, well, sometimes they put a metal plate in the sole of one "by accident". I say that he's full of shit.

    So, to prove me wrong, he takes me over to the xray machine where he says the image from my shoes is still on the screen. Except what is on the screen is obviously a full-sized, calf-high boot -- not like mine at all. Complete bullshit.

    What this dope did not know, or did not admit, is that the metal wanding process at Portland Airport was being done without raising your feet off the floor, and the wand was reacting, every time, to the REBAR in the concrete flooring. EVERYONE who got wanded had metal-shanked shoes! Obviously!

    Security theater at its best. Or worst.

    Now we xray all boots, even metal containing ones, so all a bad guy has to do is put his knife in the sole of his boot and take it out when he gets on the plane. Oh, wait, this is clearly impossible. Never mind.

  18. Re:What's the deal with the rush of TSA stories re by elrous0 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Reminds me of the scene in Airplane 2 where the TSA pulls an old lady out of the line and puts a gun to her head while terrorists walk through the metal detector with machine guns in the background.

    --
    SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
  19. Kiddie Cavities by alphatel · · Score: 2, Funny
    --
    When the foot seeks the place of the head, the line is crossed. Know your place. Keep your place. Be a shoe.
  20. Re:What's the deal with the rush of TSA stories re by mikestew · · Score: 2, Funny

    You're absolutely right, thanks for the reminder. I get a demerit on my geek card, but still get to keep it, right?

  21. Re:What's the deal with the rush of TSA stories re by Tetsujin · · Score: 3, Funny

    The rule works in principle, but we all know the part about best-laid plans.

    They usually involve your mom?

    --
    Bow-ties are cool.
  22. Re:What do we expect? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    "The kind of people we can trust not to pat down every hot chick"

    Funny you should say that, take a read of this
    http://barbaradiamond.blogspot.com/2010/11/how-to-beat-tsa-screeningi-did-it-today.html

    "How to beat the TSA screening...I did it today.

    Really simple. Stand in line behind the hottest women you can find...they will always get pulled and you get to move to the metal detector. I did this yesterday at PVD. Saw two gorgeous 20yr olds, so I moved into there line.

    Both of them were complaining to each other that they thought it was strange they always have to go thru them - and like clockwork they got pulled - had to strip down to their tshirts...and went in the machine...since that was busy they directed me without a thought to the metal detectors."

  23. Re:TSA applying pressure to submit to AIT by CAIMLAS · · Score: 3, Funny

    That is a pretty good idea.

    I think the next time I'm (fucking) forced to fly (for work), I'll do something similar: I'll insist that I must be frisked by nobody other than a member of the opposite sex (assuming there is one) due to past traumatic experiences of abuse.

    Even better, I'll get a note from a psychologist friend of mine who hates this kind of shit saying that anything otherwise might result in a psychological regression.

    --
    ~/ssh slashdot.org ssh: connect to host slashdot.org port 22: too many beers