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Torrent Users Fight Back
eonlabs writes "Torrent users being blamed for illegally downloading Far Cry are fighting back. In a 96-page lawsuit, the lawyers at Dunlap, Grubb, and Weaver are being accused of: 'extortion, fraudulent omissions, mail fraud, wire fraud, computer fraud and abuse, racketeering, fraud upon the court, abuse of process, fraud on the Copyright Office, copyright misuse, unjust enrichment, and consumer protection violations.'"
Also, they kicked a kitten and didn't like their teddys.
From TFA: "In short, Shirokov's lawsuit is accusing Dunlap, Grubb & Weaver of knowingly breaching copyright law to make money."
They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance. - Terry Pratchett
1) Release low-budget, badly-written & directed crappy movie to the public
2) Give it time to be distributed illegally on the internet
3) Find those who have supposedly shared it
4) Sue everybody, but count on only some people paying to settle out of court and collect fines
5) PROFIT!
He who knows best knows how little he knows. - Thomas Jefferson
That's a lot of fraud. I can see how this must have happened:
Man: Well, what've you got?
Prosecutor: Well, there's extortion and blackmail; extortion racketeering and blackmail; blackmail and fraud; extortion and fraud; racketeering extortion blackmail and fraud; extortion indecent exposure blackmail and fraud; fraud indecent exposure fraud fraud criminal negligence and fraud; fraud misuse of police property fraud fraud racketeering fraud extortion and spam;
Vikings: Fraud fraud fraud fraud...
Prosecutor: ...fraud fraud fraud criminal negligence and fraud; fraud fraud fraud fraud fraud fraud traffic violation fraud fraud fraud...
Vikings: fraud! Lovely fraud! Lovely fraud!
Prosecutor: ...or international terror conspiracy to overthrow the government with an insurgent army funded with drug trafficking and armed robbery and fraud.
Wife: Have you got anything without fraud?
Prosecutor: Well, there's fraud indecent exposure extortion and fraud, that's not got much fraud in it.
Wife: I don't want ANY fraud!
Man: Why can't she have racketeering extortion blackmail and fraud?
Wife: THAT'S got fraud in it!
Man: Hasn't got as much fraud in it as fraud extortion traffic ticket and fraud, has it?
Vikings: Fraud fraud fraud fraud... (Crescendo through next few lines...)
Wife: Could you do the extortion indecent exposure blackmail and fraud without the fraud then?
Prosecutor: Urgghh!
Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like fraud!
Vikings: Lovely fraud! Wonderful fraud!
Prosecutor: Shut up!
Vikings: Lovely fraud! Wonderful fraud!
Prosecutor: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have extortion indecent exposure blackmail and fraud without the fraud.
Wife: I don't like fraud!
Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your fraud. I love it. I'm having fraud fraud fraud fraud fraud fraud fraud extortion fraud fraud fraud and fraud!
Vikings: Fraud fraud fraud fraud. Lovely fraud! Wonderful fraud!
Waitress: Shut up!! Extortion is off.
Man: Well could I have her fraud instead of the extortion then?
Waitress: You mean fraud fraud fraud fraud fraud fraud... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)
Vikings: (Singing elaborately...) Fraud fraud fraud fraud. Lovely fraud! Wonderful fraud! Fraud fra-a-a-a-a-ud fraud fra-a-a-a-a-ud fraud. Lovely fraud! Lovely fraud! Lovely fraud! Lovely fraud! Lovely fraud! Fraud fraud fraud fraud!
GAAH! MY PRINTER IS ON FIRE!!! PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!
Without it, I'd have not been able to get my people in on this so fast.
We wanted to go with a Federal RICO suit but instead decided a larger levee of smaller charges would be far more effective.
Now sit back and watch the show, people. USCG is about to get their ass torn up like EA, and I'm only providing financial support this round, I'm not even named in the suit.
Still waiting on Serviscope_minor to wake up to fucking reality and realize that Jessica Price isn't going to fuck him.
for insinuating they willingly watched Far Cry.
You got something against gay recursive lawyers?
It's lawyers all the way down.
We're not evil.
Speak for yourself.
Hedley Lamarr: Qualifications?
Applicant: Fraud, murder, arson, and fraud.
Hedley Lamarr: You said fraud twice.
Applicant: I like fraud.