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Florida Man Sues WikiLeaks For Scaring Him

Posted by samzenpus on from the don't-watch-the-news dept.

Stoobalou writes "WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange has been accused of 'treason' by a Florida man seeking damages for distress caused by the site's revelations about the US government. From the article: 'David Pitchford, a Florida trailer park resident, names Assange and WikiLeaks as defendants in a personal injury suit filed with the Florida Southern District Court in Miami. In the complaint filed on 6th January, Pitchford alleges that Assange's negligence has caused "hypertension," "depression" and "living in fear of being stricken by another heart attack and/or stroke" as a result of living "in fear of being on the brink of another nuclear [sic] WAR."' Just for good measure, it also alleges that Assange and WikiLeaks are guilty of 'terorism [sic], espionage and treason.'"

10 of 340 comments (clear)

  1. What's next? by XxtraLarGe · · Score: 4, Funny

    It will be hard for anything else to beat this for the dumbest thing I've seen on the internet today.

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    1. Re:What's next? by ehrichweiss · · Score: 3, Funny

      The kicker is when they describe the plaintiff: "a Florida trailer park resident"

      Who didn't see that one coming?

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      0x09F911029D74E35BD84156C5635688C0
    2. Re:What's next? by fuzzyfuzzyfungus · · Score: 4, Funny

      Everybody owes fealty to the United States; because we are the best nation in the world. Some people just don't realize it yet, which is why we have to spend so much on our armed forces and prisons...

    3. Re:What's next? by Dunbal · · Score: 4, Funny

      She's as dumb and arrogant as the day is long

            And you say this in January, right after the winter solstice when in Alaska the days are short as hell...

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      Seven puppies were harmed during the making of this post.
    4. Re:What's next? by cortex3299 · · Score: 5, Funny

      Isn't the day 24 hours long in Alaska ?

    5. Re:What's next? by X3J11 · · Score: 5, Funny

      It will be hard for anything else to beat this for the dumbest thing I've seen on the internet today.

      A CHALLENGER APPEARS!

      Canada bans Dire Straits' "Money for Nothing"

    6. Re:What's next? by spamking · · Score: 3, Funny

      Are you telling me there's not one condo available in all of Del Boca Vista?

  2. Predictable by paiute · · Score: 5, Funny

    I knew this would happen when I heard that Walmart was putting in self-serve legal departments.

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  3. Nuclear war by Sonny+Yatsen · · Score: 4, Funny

    Luckily, nuclear war is a cure for depression, hypertension, heart attack and stroke.

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    My postings are informational and does not constitute legal advice. Act on it at your risk.
  4. Re:why does where he lives matter? by fuzzyfuzzyfungus · · Score: 3, Funny

    Prejudice is just the drunk, mean, cousin of pattern recognition, which is just the folksy-handyman version of the scientific method....