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Steve Jobs Taking Medical Leave of Absence
Uttini writes "Apple CEO Steve Jobs has just announced that he is taking a medical leave of absence, according to a release issued by the company today. While it's unclear what the reason is for the medical leave, Jobs' previous medical history includes pancreatic cancer as well as a liver transplant. While Jobs is out, Tim Cook is to be responsible for all of Apple's day to day operations."
I don't wish him any harm, but he's a terrible person by most objective accounts.
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I am sure when approached, Jobs when told "Hey man Duggan Coates is out sick, I think we should wish him well" would take the time out of earning billions to do just that. I really dont care if he is sick or not it doesnt impact me in the slightest. A billion people with less money than Jobs are suffering 10x as much.. some in unimaginable ways..you think about it too much and you might want to blow your head off. Steve Jobs is sick, boo hoo, kids are getting raped and killed in afghanistan lets wish them well too... ffs.
When you dislike the human race as much as I do, Karma:Bad is inevitable lol.
AIDS demise to have innovative interface
January 15, 2009
ANUS News
CUPERTINO, California (NNN) - Steve Jobs, the polymath CEO and star evangelist of Apple Computer, Inc., publically announced a medical leave of absence from the company, but in private promised "the best AIDS death ever" from the affliction no one will publically recognize he has.
As HIV-positive test results leaked onto the web from the last five years of Jobs' fight for health and secrecy, former lovers raced to the clinics on Segways looking for solace. Unflappable as always, Jobs vowed to make the best of the situation.
"There's AIDS deaths, and then there's AIDS deaths," Jobs said in his strident baritone with a slightly ironic lisp. "As with all Apple products, my demise from pneumonia brought on by full-blown AIDS will be poignant, witty, ironic, aesthetically pleasing and have an interface that breaks new ground for the industry."
Turning to a reporter he said, "That's off the record. Officially, my hormones are unbalanced because I did not care enough about Darfur." On the news of Jobs' leave, Apple stock plunged $7.38 as people feared the cool had left their Macs, but then rebounded by almost four points once rumors of HIV-death leaked.
"If Christ were to die today, he'd die of AIDS," said Jared Hvitles, who has owned four Macs, three iPods, an iPhone and a Steve Jobs Picking Up a Quarter blow-up doll. "He's going out like he's lived, as a Christ for the new millenium -- with a better interface."
About ANUS
The American Nihilist Underground Society advocates nihilism, or a removal of interpretive layers from our perception of physical reality, as a means of transcending illusion. Nihilism denies value and purpose, which are byproducts of the human desire to judge reality and make a consensual "social reality" that by seizing on a single material factor misses the intelligible, or design-based, knowledge we need to adapt to reality. ANUS has been promoting nihilism since 1987.
http://www.anus.com/
About Nihilism
Nihilism is the belief that nothing we perceive has Absolute value; reality exists, but beyond its inherent meaning to us as the physical container of our existence, it has no significance outside of what we perceive. "The world is my representation," indeed. When we strip away all of the values projected onto physical reality and its outcomes, we are left only with personal ideal and natural ideal, and bringing the former into adaptation with the latter is the lifetime task to which nihilism is a gateway.
http://www.nihil.org/
However, she does not get softball questions from the media. They threw every curve ball at her they could.
Yup. Asking what magazines she reads is like beaning her right in the head. ::eyeroll::
Living With a Nerd
Yes, the ridiculous amounts of money they make are completely due to the cool image they make, and you'd have to be a fucking retard to deny it. Point to another company that has the hype surrounding merely incremental increases in standard product lines, and massive consumer binges the moment that upgrade's released. They're pretty few and far between, but because Apple's cultivated an image of "latest and greatest is the only cool," most people go for that upgrade immediately, even if they don't need it right away, or ever. The number of people buying iPhone 4s or iPads goes far beyond the rich douches who just want the latest toy, Apple's a success because they make people *want* that incremental upgrade, even if it's not that much more spectacular than what they've got.
Canada: The US's more awesome sibling.