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Fake Steve Jobs Says 'Leave the Real One Alone'
Stoobalou writes "Dan Lyons, who has been lampooning Apple's Steve Jobs for many years, has posted his last item as Fake Steve Jobs and signed off. Lyons, who has been impersonating the messianic Apple supremo in the notorious tech blog since 2006 and even managed to maintain his anonymity for quite some time, despite being a well-known tech hack, has parked his vitriolic pen for the last time." Most people expect FSJ to return if RSJ does.
I do think however that Jobs' ideas of what Apple should do to stay in the lead are a lot clearer now than the first time he was in charge.
Pretty good is actually pretty bad.
... I've shorted Apple stock. Frankly, I suggest you all do likewise.
Um, yeah. Some folks might beg to differ.
I view this as a one-day-only 5% discount sale.
Here are the insider trades for the last year or so.
I don't see Jobs there.
Parody is protected. There is nothing RSJ could do about it.
Ballmer is a pretty poor example. To his credit, he probably comes across as one of the few people in the tech arena who would be tolerable over a beer, but a less-than-stellar showman who at his best is a parody of himself. He inspires pity more than loathing.
Now when will we get Fake Larry Ellison? That guy is just a comedy goldmine. The often attributed, arrogance of Jobs, greedy, self-serving, with a sense of self-denial and a twinge of bat-shit insane.
Every press conference? I suppose you don't attend the earnings reports. He has participated in a few but most of the time it's Tim Cook, COO and Peter Oppenheimer, CFO that run them. Steve Jobs does lead the more public events like WWDC and very public announcements when they launch a new product. It's a double edge gripe: If he doesn't lead these things, people will complain how he's not involved and should do more for Apple. If he does lead them, people like you complain about it. You can't have it both ways.
Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
Personally I think Cook and Schiller will keep the trains running, and Ives will be spokesman (he's got that watchable quality). Forstall will probably also have an increasing public profile, but in terms of products he'll probably remain with iOS stuff. Steve put so many good people in place around him, that Apple in the long run will be just fine no matter what. Obviously a succession plan in a company like Apple will have been in place for a long time, and with Steve Job's health problems in the past, he's definitely had more people in the spotlight with him recently, to get the public used to some of these guys.
-mrxak
Onions Will Kill You