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Fake Steve Jobs Says 'Leave the Real One Alone'

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the vacation-sounds-nice dept.

Stoobalou writes "Dan Lyons, who has been lampooning Apple's Steve Jobs for many years, has posted his last item as Fake Steve Jobs and signed off. Lyons, who has been impersonating the messianic Apple supremo in the notorious tech blog since 2006 and even managed to maintain his anonymity for quite some time, despite being a well-known tech hack, has parked his vitriolic pen for the last time." Most people expect FSJ to return if RSJ does.

15 of 166 comments (clear)

  1. seems familiar by Nialin · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Leave Stevie alone!"
    *applies extra eyeliner, sobbing*

  2. We might stop making fun of him by Grapplebeam · · Score: 4, Interesting

    If every Apple press conference thing wasn't really just about him in the end. He wouldn't get up there and tell people what they already know if he didn't want to be in the spotlight.

    --
    There is no -1 Disagree.
    1. Re:We might stop making fun of him by Monkeedude1212 · · Score: 5, Interesting

      In his defense, at least he didn't get all sweaty while clapping on stage for 20 minutes chanting nothing but "Developers".

      Steve Jobs looks pretty good when you compare him to other industry CEOs.

    2. Re:We might stop making fun of him by Steauengeglase · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Ballmer is a pretty poor example. To his credit, he probably comes across as one of the few people in the tech arena who would be tolerable over a beer, but a less-than-stellar showman who at his best is a parody of himself. He inspires pity more than loathing.

      Now when will we get Fake Larry Ellison? That guy is just a comedy goldmine. The often attributed, arrogance of Jobs, greedy, self-serving, with a sense of self-denial and a twinge of bat-shit insane.

    3. Re:We might stop making fun of him by UnknowingFool · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Every press conference? I suppose you don't attend the earnings reports. He has participated in a few but most of the time it's Tim Cook, COO and Peter Oppenheimer, CFO that run them. Steve Jobs does lead the more public events like WWDC and very public announcements when they launch a new product. It's a double edge gripe: If he doesn't lead these things, people will complain how he's not involved and should do more for Apple. If he does lead them, people like you complain about it. You can't have it both ways.

      --
      Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
    4. Re:We might stop making fun of him by node+3 · · Score: 3, Informative

      In 1999, when he and Phil Schiller announced the iBook with built-in WiFi, the term WiFi hadn't even been invented yet, it was called AirPort by Apple, and 802.11b by everyone else, and Apple products were the first to have it built-in. Apple worked with Lucent in the development of 802.11b.

      (disregard if you were being ironic)

  3. About time really.... by bazmail · · Score: 3, Informative

    I thought that Fake Steve blog shut down 2 years ago. It was funny for a while but got stale real fast when he was unmasked and the whole book thing.

    1. Re:About time really.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Parody is protected. There is nothing RSJ could do about it.

  4. Can Apple survive without Jobs again? by BadAnalogyGuy · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Steve Jobs breathed life back into a dying Apple. It was his management that turned the company from a third-rate HW vendor into a juggernaut of ideas, concepts, products, and customer satisfaction. Sculley, Amelio, and the rest never could have done that.

    But if Steve goes, whence Apple? I'm sure he has a large cadre of lieutenants who can make good decisions in his stead, but can they get along? Can they drive the teams and call BS on half-assed engineering like Jobs? Do they have his business acumen?

    The problem of building a company around a single person means that person is the weakest link. When Steve decides to give up the mantle, will Apple be able to adjust to the absence and still succeed in the same ways?

    I doubt it, and that's why I've shorted Apple stock. Frankly, I suggest you all do likewise.

    1. Re:Can Apple survive without Jobs again? by dingen · · Score: 4, Insightful

      I do think however that Jobs' ideas of what Apple should do to stay in the lead are a lot clearer now than the first time he was in charge.

      --
      Pretty good is actually pretty bad.
    2. Re:Can Apple survive without Jobs again? by qengho · · Score: 3, Insightful

      ... I've shorted Apple stock. Frankly, I suggest you all do likewise.

      Um, yeah. Some folks might beg to differ.

      I view this as a one-day-only 5% discount sale.

    3. Re:Can Apple survive without Jobs again? by Eil · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Steve Jobs breathed life back into a dying Apple. It was his management that turned the company from a third-rate HW vendor into a juggernaut of ideas, concepts, products, and customer satisfaction. Sculley, Amelio, and the rest never could have done that.

      It's true that Steve turned Apple around when he rejoined. But let's not forget that he was originally ousted from his own company because his impulsive decisions, empty showmanship, and abusive management style threatened to rip Apple apart right when it should have been concentrating on building a long-term strategy. Those other CEOs and executives who ran Apple during Jobs' exile wouldn't have produced the superstar corporation that Apple is today, but at least they knew how to keep the company afloat long enough for Jobs to mature on both a business and behavioral level. (Even if they didn't realize that's what they were doing.)

    4. Re:Can Apple survive without Jobs again? by mrxak · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Personally I think Cook and Schiller will keep the trains running, and Ives will be spokesman (he's got that watchable quality). Forstall will probably also have an increasing public profile, but in terms of products he'll probably remain with iOS stuff. Steve put so many good people in place around him, that Apple in the long run will be just fine no matter what. Obviously a succession plan in a company like Apple will have been in place for a long time, and with Steve Job's health problems in the past, he's definitely had more people in the spotlight with him recently, to get the public used to some of these guys.

      --
      -mrxak
      Onions Will Kill You
  5. Cooke by goombah99 · · Score: 4, Interesting

    It's a measurable fact that Apple's market cap grew under Tim Cooke more than under Steve Jobs. One can question if he kept the idea pipeline stocked or was just a steward of an existing process. But the former is fact and the latter is speculation.

    It is likely that Steve has hired people who are great with ideas but not with the type-A self confidence he has. It's a common trait for uber egotists to drive other egotist out of their circle. I'm not saying that is a bad thing. I'm saying it is a common thing. It has been the dominant management style for most of human history.

    Thus the trouble is not replacing steve jobs but imagining who in his inner circle is capable of stepping up to be him. THat person may in fact not be in his inner circle. But maybe they alos don't need to replace him with someone just like him. they need a new leader with a new style. THey just might not find it right away till steve is truly gone.

    --
    Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
  6. Bullshit by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Here are the insider trades for the last year or so.

    I don't see Jobs there.