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Ask Slashdot: Worst Computer Scene In TV or Movies?

Cuban Devil writes "Yesterday I rented a copy of The Social Network. I won't comment on the story, but the Zuckerberg character's narrated performance on hacking Harvard servers made me wonder: what's the worst computer-related acting performance ever? I leave here my vote: Independence Day, when I had to see Mr. Goldblum upload a virus, using a Mac, when it did not connect even to an ethernet network, compromising the entire alien fleet. What other major technological gaffes have you seen?"

37 of 1,200 comments (clear)

  1. it turns out... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    hacking/coding/computing in real life is incredibly boring - reality doesn't make for a good movie.

  2. Swordfish: The whole damn movie! by supremebob · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Seriously... there are several scenes in that movie that are unbelievably bad. Pick your favorite!

  3. Easily CSI by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Interesting

    I'll create a GUI interface using Visual Basic, see if I can track an IP address!

    1. Re:Easily CSI by westlake · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Why do computers on TV have to display all the photos/fingerprints in its database when doing any kind of search?

      Because it is a visually appealing and dramatically effective way of suggesting the size and complexity of the database.

    2. Re:Easily CSI by geekoid · · Score: 5, Interesting

      Actually it make sense. This is one of those thing software GUI creators could learn something from the Movies..

      People are impatient. When they have to wait they get frustrated.

      Having a bunch of finger print go by keeps the person active so they don't notices it takes 15 seconds and not 5 seconds.

      One time I was praised for dramatically increase the speed of a program. My secret? I put up a spinning DOS prompt.

      --
      The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
  4. Lawnmower Man by nebaz · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Basically the whole movie.

    --
    Rhymes that keep their secrets will unfold behind the clouds.There upon the rainbow is the answer to a neverending story
  5. Hackers... by Xyverz · · Score: 4, Informative

    "It's a P6 chip ... RISC architecture is gonna change everything".

    1. Re:Hackers... by Seumas · · Score: 5, Insightful

      You do realize Hackers isn't a film that you're supposed to take seriously, right? It's a great movie. Feel free to criticize technology in the majority of films out there, but complaining about it in Hackers is like complaining about how much Monty Python sucks, because "there isn't really any such thing as a ministry of funny walks!".

    2. Re:Hackers... by geekoid · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Hey now, at the time it looked like the RISC architecture was going to change everything.

      And if this site has proved 1 thing, it's the geeks always use hyerbole about new technology.

      I call that scene: Accurate.

      --
      The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
  6. Re:Hackers, obviously... by mikaelwbergene · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Every time they showed a screen in Hackers I giggled and enjoyed the movie without taking it too seriously.

  7. Jurassic Park by Archangel+Michael · · Score: 5, Funny

    Macs running Unix? Yeah, like that will ever happen

    --
    Agent K: A *person* is smart. People are dumb, stupid, panicky animals, and you know it.
    1. Re:Jurassic Park by Qzukk · · Score: 4, Informative

      Except that it actually WAS a UNIX system, SGI IRIX to be exact. And it was a real file browser as well.

      --
      If I have been able to see further than others, it is because I bought a pair of binoculars.
    2. Re:Jurassic Park by siegesama · · Score: 5, Informative

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fsn

      FSN (File System Navigator), was a real application made by SGI for 3D viewing of file systems. That really is a real gui layer, and you can get a clone of it for linux called FSV at http://fsv.sourceforge.net/

      --
      what the hell is a 'junk character', anyway?
    3. Re:Jurassic Park by Kenja · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Um... all the computer systems shown in Jurassic Park where real. Even the 3D interface, that was something SGI came up with.

      --

      "Have you ever thought about just turning off the TV, sitting down with your kids, and hitting them?"
    4. Re:Jurassic Park by gknoy · · Score: 4, Informative

      how does knowing that a system is running Unix enable one to understand the complex control software running a dinosaur park?

      man parkcontrols

      ?

  8. The Net by willith · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I have to nominate the Sandra Bullock abortion The Net--the entire film. Compared to that movie, Goldblum's antics are totally plausible.

  9. Mission Impossible 1 by bakuun · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Tom Cruise breaks into a vault at CIA with their most important computer, and when presented with a login screen clicks the "override" button on the computer (right next to the "ok" button), which simply logs in without having to enter a password.

    1. Re:Mission Impossible 1 by aarggh · · Score: 4, Funny

      But to be fair, it was made for and starred Tom Cruise after all! Is there no beginning to his talents?

  10. Re:Hackers, obviously... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Same reason Independence Day isn't the worst offender. Their computer scenes were as unrealistic as their physics which was as unrealistic as their politics. None of it was meant to be serious.

    I find something like CSI much more annoying.

  11. Re:WarGames by Scutter · · Score: 5, Insightful

    "Greetings Professor Falken"

    need i say more? WarGames is probably the most cheezy movie of them all.

    You shut your whore mouth!

    Seriously, though, Wargames was probably the most accurate cracking movie ever made. Instead of "creating a GUI in Visual Basic and tracking an IP address" a la CSI: Braindead, the main character actually spent weeks poring over information about the creator of the system to try to work out how it was designed and what the likely methods would be to gain entrance. He also used social engineering techniques to gather information about his targets.

    --

    "Tell me doctor, with all of your defenses, are there any provisions for an attack by killer bees?"
  12. WarGames 2: The Dead Code by Blakey+Rat · · Score: 4, Informative

    Yes, this movie exists. And yes, it's godawful beyond belief.

    Here's a review I wrote about the movie when it came out. But, really, every detail is awful-- not just the computer scenes, but every scene is brimming from top to bottom with WTF. It also doesn't help that they couldn't get any characters from the original, except WOPR (if you count that.)

  13. Re:die hard 4.0 by Hoi+Polloi · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I just like how computers in general seem to be packed with either explosives or 5 megawatts of power in pretty much every sci-fi movie. Star Trek is one of the worst offenders for this. "Oh no, the computer is overloaded! *bzzzt, boom*" If I blew up a PC everytime it got stuck in a logic loop I'd be typing with hooks by now.

    --
    It is by the juice of the coffee bean that thoughts acquire speed, the teeth acquire stains. The stains become a warning
  14. Unthinkable by hjf · · Score: 4, Funny

    Unthinkable (with Samuel L Jackson and Carrie-Ann Moss).

    The bomb guy disarms the bomb with a Mac running EXCEL, randomly pressing keys in different cells.

    http://i.imgur.com/8SMhl.png

  15. Re:Agree by aarggh · · Score: 4, Funny

    There's those Galactic Standards for methods of data transfer in action! See, standards DO work!

  16. Re:Hackers, obviously... by retchdog · · Score: 4, Insightful

    yes, this is exactly the right way to do it. it was a light-hearted romp which featured corporate malfeasance and corruption; liberated and powerful computer enthusiasts; an interestingly-clad Angelina Jolie; and a great period soundtrack. what exactly is wrong with any of this?

    when i was in high school, it inspired a few otherwise-uninterested people to learn a little bit about computers, and was kind of a "cult classic" among those of us who already were. the people who were offended by it were (mostly) posers. i mean, come on, the tagline on the posters was "just when you thought it was safe to turn on your hard drive" or something ridiculous like that. it's pure cheese and that's just fun, no matter how serious it was meant to be (i suspect not at all).

    also, "risc is good" was poetry compared to "it's got a 28.8 bee-pee-ess modem!" and "i bet it looks crispy in the dark."

    --
    "They were pure niggers." – Noam Chomsky
  17. Re:Blowfish by tchuladdiass · · Score: 5, Funny

    you mean like this one? (this is from Red Dwarf - Back to Earth, their "Picture Zoom" sketch).

  18. Re:Agree by bhcompy · · Score: 5, Interesting

    One deleted scene referenced that modern computers were derived from the Area 51 alien spaceship. The deletion of that scene created the plothole, but the plothole isn't really a plothole.

  19. Re:All of them. by digitig · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I think "War Games" had a measure of accuracy, where the cracker spent weeks researching the private life of a system developer to try to work out what he might have used as a back-door password. Compared, say, to one of the Superman films -- was it Superman IV? -- in which all the cracker had to do was type "Override all security".

    And don't forget the back-handed accuracy of Airplane II:
    "Have you worked out what all those flashing lights mean yet?"
    "No, sir. We're working on it"

    --
    Quidnam Latine loqui modo coepi?
  20. true story by circletimessquare · · Score: 5, Funny

    i am a film buff. so i knew about the movie swordfish a few months before it came out (from fan sites like aintitcoolnews.com, etc.), and i knew sketchy plot points about the movie, namely that it would be about illicit transfers of illicit funds

    i also used to work for a large multinational bank as a programmer. and a few months before swordfish came out, i was developing a system used by the bank for monitoring internal transfers. on a lark, i code named the system in development as "swordfish" as my own personal inside joke. it was never intended to be a more widely known nickname

    but in email conversations with my boss, i, um, kept calling it swordfish. oops. my boss wound up raving about the system, to his bosses, to other middle management, to everyone. he started telling everyone who would listen about it because the basic idea behind the project was a sound one and it was important for the bank. unfortunately, he kept calling it "swordfish," and the name stuck and went into general use

    awareness of the swordfish project just happened to peak when the movie came out. to widespread media coverage and exposure and advertising. and the basic details about a hacker breaking into a financial computer system to transfer funds became common knowledge, even to people who didn't see the movie. and at the same time, here was my boss making an internal push to distribute this program to wider use for testing, and trying to drum up support for it amongst the higher ranking middle management... and it was called swordfish

    he stopped raving about the program, and my boss got in the habit of shaking his head and smirking every time he saw me

    so the plot guys get the technical details wrong sometimes

    i am living proof that sometimes the technical guys get the plot points wrong

    --
    intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
  21. ID4 was fine by geekoid · · Score: 4, Interesting

    A) They studied the tech for years.
    B) The raise is a hive mind. As such crime wouldn't be an issue.
    C) minimal to no software virus protection
    D) He can write an emulator.

    That movie complaint is unwarranted.

    --
    The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
  22. AlienOS has the same problems by twoallbeefpatties · · Score: 4, Funny

    Oh, come on. If we derived modern computers from the aliens' systems, then certainly the aliens had their own problems. I can just imagine those two aliens in the mothership sitting there, staring at the virus notification on the screen, going, "I TOLD you to download the latest service pack! Fscking McAlienfee!"

    --
    Libertarians somehow believe that private businesses should be stronger than governments but weaker than individuals.
  23. Spaceballs by Xyrus · · Score: 4, Funny

    There's no way anyone could ever use a hair dryer that big.

    --
    ~X~
  24. Re:Hackers, obviously... by Homburg · · Score: 4, Interesting

    The screens in Hackers are obviously a visual metaphor, and a good one at that. The technological nit that did annoy me is that the film doesn't seem to understand the difference between a username and a password.

  25. Re:All of them. by The+Grim+Reefer2 · · Score: 5, Funny

    No kidding. I can't believe that in this day and age when computers are ubiquitous that Hollywood is still treating them like semi-magic boxes.How many people are left in the US that still think that programmers do all their coding on multiple screes with nothing but spinning 3D graphics. This is especially prevalent when someone is "hacking" into a "secure" system. Half the time they show someone manipulating a strand of DNA and are just mashing together what a four year old kid would say that heard a parent talking about computers. Something like:

    [Picture the monitor showing a fractal spinning on the screen with shiny spheres flying around and attaching to it randomly with techno music in the background]

    Hacker guy: The firewall has 7337 -bit encryption. That's more options than there are atoms in a car
    Hot chick: Really! So it's going to take you like two days to hack the NSA Excel 4-train database. Are you using the Bernoulli quadratic equation?
    Hacker guy: No, I'm already past the firewall. I dropped in a logic bomb and spammed the secure email SQL server with a hydra worm.
    Bad guy: Wow, it took Linus 14 hours on a Cray XMP Beowulf cluster linked to a direct fiber-channel modulator to do what you did in 17 seconds.
    Hacker guy: Yeah, I know. Just think how much faster I could have done it if you hadn't shot my best friend five minutes ago, didn't have a knife in my back, and I didn't have to power the mainframe with this hamster wheel.
    Bad guy: It'll all be over soon. Once you get the launch codes for the neutron bomb from the ZX81 RAM pack.

  26. OTOH, Robocop was surpisingly accurate by RevWaldo · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Sure no cyborgs, and we're still working on ED209, but back in 1987 Robocop had:

    - computer interfaces that resembled web sites
    - a device for tracking Robocop that looks suspiciously like a smartphone
    - digital video recording, as well as DVDs (didn't exist until '93)

    Plus:

    - stupidly oversized cars that wasted gas (6000 SUX)
    - ultraviolent games for the whole family (Nukem!)
    - Ford Taurus police cars (back when Crown Victorias were standard issue, they looked very "futuristic")
    - ads for medical services (unheard of in '87)
    - privatized police, military, prisons, and spacecraft
    - and autoflush urinals!


    .

  27. Re:Hackers, obviously... by IndustrialComplex · · Score: 4, Funny

    I'll just leave this here:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkDD03yeLnU

    "I'll create a GUI using Visual Basic so I can track their IP address"

    --
    Out of modpoints but really liked a post? 1BDkF6TtmmeZ3yqXbz9yhdYVqRYnwFoXDj
  28. Re:All of them. by MightyMartian · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hi, this is Jerry Bruckheimer, we read your script and we'd like to hire you on as head writer for the newest show in our franchise; CSI Fuvk Ya!

    --
    The world's burning. Moped Jesus spotted on I50. Details at 11.