Slashdot Mirror
Ask Slashdot: Advice On a DIY Neutron Beam?
Max Littlemore writes "I have been breeding
thorium
cattle
children
gremlins
at home using lots of old smoke detectors with a view toward generating my own
electricity
radiation
plutonium
wormhole
and getting off the grid. The only thing stopping me is a reliable neutron beam. Given that all the equipment I'm using is re-purposed kitchen equipment, concerns about safety mean I'm
reluctant
hesitant
exuberant
defiant
to build a uranium reactor to supply neutrons to the thorium one. So I'm putting the question out there: do any Slashdotters know of a
hazardous
good
safe
legal
way to make a powerful neutron beam out of things I might find around the house?"
It would be helpful to include images and diagrams of your own personal neutron beam
generators
rifles
casseroles
beer
.
It's days like this when I really miss "OMG!!! Ponies!!!"...
I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
You don't need a uranium reactor to generate neutrons (although if you use the thorium from some lantern mantles, you could probably create one). You also don't need to be messing about with nasty americium to breed plutonium as a neutron source.
Just build a Farnsworth Fusor like that guy on Slashdot did last week. There's your neutron source. Should be pretty safe, compared to the alternatives.
Right, that doesn't solve the problem of your neutron beam beer.
Put a bottle of Pu240 Weapons Grade Ale in front of your Something in there'll get activated for just long enough to technically call it neutron beam beer.
At 8% ABV and 100 IBUs, it's a hop bomb that'll getcha bombed even without neutron activation!
You could just ask your neighbor. Most high school kids who are even remotely interested in science already have a neutron source in their basement. Borax, you get in the laundry aisle and as moderator I suggest to go with pencils. Graphite is a well documented moderator and has worked in Chernobyl for many years without a problem. You could use tea-lights for shielding, but imho shielding is for sissies.
Just one warning: As in banking, the important thing is to start big. If you build a small reactor, the police will come knocking down your door, but if you build a really big one, your local congressman will help you to find a way around stupid regulations.
Take approx. 2kg of sifted weapons grade plutonium (this is perfectly safe, it's sub-critical) and place in a mixing bowl. With a mortar and pestle grind together about 5g of polonium-210 and 10g of finely powdered beryllium. Gradually stir in to the plutonium until the mixture begins to get warm, then add about 500cc of deuterium hydroxide. Divide equally into a 12-portion muffin dish. Decorate with thorium oxide granules and bake in a suitable containment vessel until red hot. Serve on a bed of fuel pebbles with a cesium iodide dressing.
From scarped cliff or quarried stone she cries "A thousand types are gone, I care for nothing, no not one."
All you need is a whole load of Sellotape (Scotch-tape for you Americans) (and some deuterium).
Everyone (well, Slashdot readers) knows that peeling Sellotape produces x-rays, so get some industrial sized sheets of Sellotape, probably at least a few layers. While peeling, aim your Sellotape at some material why only needs low energies to induce a photonuclear reaction (deuterium, beryllium perhaps).
Some might say that those might need gamma rays, but those are only high energy X-rays, so shake your Sellotape fast, and you'll increase the frequency nicely.
And voila: Neutrons!
The rest is just details
The joke notwithstanding, cyclotrons can produce a neutron beam by accelerating protons into an aluminum target.