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Four Physicists Arrested After SSC Break-In

Posted by timothy on from the if-not-for-you-pesky-non-kids dept.

An anonymous reader writes with a not-unexpected followup to one of the break-ins of the century, when a group of curious scientists decided to see what was left of the uncompleted giant collider project in East Anglia Texas L.A. Angola . From the article: "A team of four physicists was arrested this morning at the headquarters of the American Physical Society (APS) in College Park, MD. Plain-clothed Tastefully-dressed Nude Well-basted officers from the Department of Homeland Security entered the building around 8:30 a.m. and detained the suspects without tasers a prayer flatulance incident . The group is charged with breaking and entering a secure government facility, destruction of government property, stealing national secrets and parking illegally."

36 of 49 comments (clear)

  1. I dont know why by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Insightful

    I even opened my browser today,

    1. Re:I dont know why by markass530 · · Score: 1

      because there is life outside of slashdot?

  2. Actually they weren't arrest because they broke in by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    It was because they broke out! They came through a functional SSC in another universe, and used the Einstein-Rosen bridge combined with a Quantum Leap Accelerator to cross into this universe.

  3. I Hate by bored_engineer · · Score: 2

    I really hate April 1. Between my kids and Slashdot, the day is always ruined. I have a sense of humor, but I stopped laughing about 30 minutes after the kids got home. Sigh.

    1. Re:I Hate by Frosty+Piss · · Score: 2

      Between my kids and Slashdot, the day is always ruined.

      I'll bet you're a load of fun around Christmas time, too.

      --
      If you want news from today, you have to come back tomorrow.
    2. Re:I Hate by bored_engineer · · Score: 1

      Nope. Not Christian.

    3. Re:I Hate by kangsterizer · · Score: 1

      I stopped laughing on april 1st a bit over 10 years ago. I think that's when I've got internet.

    4. Re:I Hate by Frosty+Piss · · Score: 1

      Nope. Not Christian.

      Neither am I, but that doesn't mean I'm a humorless negative party pooper.

      --
      If you want news from today, you have to come back tomorrow.
    5. Re:I Hate by TheGratefulNet · · Score: 2

      is that the time when people drink the blood of that plastic guy on the dashboard?

      well, is it??

      --

      --
      "It is now safe to switch off your computer."
    6. Re:I Hate by naota-kun · · Score: 2

      This morning I told my kids not to believe anything they heard today. On the way out the door, my wife told them she loved them. They looked confused...I just shrugged.

      --
      dull-eyed footstool-temporary octopus
    7. Re:I Hate by Alex+Belits · · Score: 1

      Trolldad approves!

      --
      Contrary to the popular belief, there indeed is no God.
    8. Re:I Hate by sconeu · · Score: 1

      I'm not humorless, but the posts are.

      On the other hand, the OMG!!! PONIES!!! was an *INCREDIBLE* April Fool joke. If the jokes weren't lame, I'd be happy.

      --
      General Relativity: Space-time tells matter where to go; Matter tells space-time what shape to be.
    9. Re:I Hate by geekoid · · Score: 1

      You should have looked at them and said "Nothing!"

      or "I hate you."

      --
      The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
    10. Re:I Hate by biryokumaru · · Score: 1

      What does that have to do with Christmas? Heck, anyone who claims to be a Christian and celebrates Christmas must not pay much attention to their religion. Christmas is a purely secular holiday that those wayward Christians are foolishly attempting to co-opt.

      --
      When you're afraid to download music illegally in your own home, then the terrorists have won!
    11. Re:I Hate by scottblascocomposer · · Score: 1

      Or not: http://www.bib-arch.org/e-features/christmas.asp

      --
      To reign is to serve.
  4. Stealing national secrets? by chemicaldave · · Score: 1

    ...Really? Guess it puts the parking illegally in perspective.

  5. Worst. April Fools. Ever. by ZosX · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Wake me up when its over.

    --
    zosxavius photography
  6. Sad by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    An admitted fake, but I think whats more sad is that this could actually be a true news story. Even the absurdity of the parking ticket lends merit to the story. Welcome to the police state.

    1. Re:Sad by im_thatoneguy · · Score: 1

      I was really surprised when I read the original story that this *wasn't* the outcome. They obviously *DID* trespass. I read nowhere in the original article that they had permission to enter any of those buildings--vacant or not. I have to assume that the fact they scaled a fence to enter leads me to believe that they weren't there on an official tour.

  7. Re:April Fools... by jamesh · · Score: 2

    While I feel a bit let down by April Fools Day this year (especially as it ended 23 hours ago here), the "and parking illegally." made me laugh.

  8. The SSC was killed because of its name by PolygamousRanchKid+ · · Score: 1

    Superconducting Super Collider? That just sounds expensive. So when Congress is looking to save money, that really stands out. Collider sounds to violent as well. If they had called it "Mini-micro concur-er," It would have been whacking up stuff today.

    --
    Schroedinger's Brexit: The UK is both in and out of the EU at the same time!
    1. Re:The SSC was killed because of its name by Dahamma · · Score: 1

      FermiLab's is called the "Tevatron". Now that's a cool name - Teva and Tron, combining my favorite sandals and 80's Disney sci-fi movie.

    2. Re:The SSC was killed because of its name by Darinbob · · Score: 1

      Superaffirmative Particle Consensusbuilder.

    3. Re:The SSC was killed because of its name by ScentCone · · Score: 1

      Fantastic.

      --
      Don't disappoint your bird dog. Go to the range.
  9. Clearly a prank by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    When was the last time four physicists were all at work by 8:30am?

    1. Re:Clearly a prank by Nivag064 · · Score: 1

      At the LHC, physicists often work through the night!

  10. Not very clever by warp_kez · · Score: 1

    Seriously, April Fools is overrated now. All the jokes have been done and done again - they are just not funny anymore, some not even in the first instance.

  11. Re:Actually they weren't arrest because they broke by taktoa · · Score: 1

    http://www.amazon.com/Einsteins-Bridge-John-Cramer/dp/0380788314

  12. one decade from now by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    Google and everyone else will have to discount all "news" with a date of 1-5 April, and remove them from search results. Once people figure out that this is happening, criminals will use 1 April to conduct criminal activity and the general populace will begin putting the incorrect date on their "1 April fools" pranks, wreaking even more havoc.

  13. better pay the parking fine or the ppa will boot y by Joe+The+Dragon · · Score: 1

    better pay the parking fine or the ppa will boot you and fee you to death..

  14. Glitch? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    Oh G*d this is so much fun ;-)

    I don't know if anyone else is seeAing this but I am experiencing a glitch in the /. website that allows me to see certain words have a drop down options list for alternative words. The options make such interesting alternate wording that I am currently addicted to reading/editing articles on /.

    If you cant see it, here are 3 screen grabs.
    http://thestoreindevon.com/forum_files/slash-dot-1.jpg
    http://thestoreindevon.com/forum_files/slash-dot-2.jpg
    http://thestoreindevon.com/forum_files/slash-dot-3.jpg

  15. and now they need the star gate to get back! by Joe+The+Dragon · · Score: 1

    and now they need the star gate to get back!

  16. Re:Actually they weren't arrest because they broke by Sulphur · · Score: 1

    An anonymous reader writes with a not-unexpected followup to one of the break-ins of the century, when a group of curious scientists decided to see what was left of the uncompleted giant collider project in East Texas. From the article: "A team of four physicists was arrested this morning at the headquarters of the American Physical Society (APS) in College Park, MD. officers from the Department of Homeland Security entered the building around 8:30 a.m. and detained the suspects without . The group is charged with breaking and entering a secure government facility, destruction of government property, stealing national secrets and parking illegally."

    In other news, a Higgs Boson which had become stuck in the pipe was stolen.

  17. Still haven't received it! by kyrio · · Score: 1

    Where is it?

  18. You Fail by Frosty+Piss · · Score: 1

    On the other hand, the OMG!!! PONIES!!!

    It's ***PINK*** PONIES. Poser

    --
    If you want news from today, you have to come back tomorrow.
  19. I think I know these guys... by rjch · · Score: 1

    A team of four physicists was arrested this morning at the headquarters of the American Physical Society (APS) in College Park, MD.

    Their names weren't Leonard, Sheldon, Howard and Raj, by any chance were they?