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Smell Like An Orc

Posted by samzenpus on from the smells-like-demeaned-spirit dept.

You may have no trouble smelling like an orc after 12 straight hours of raiding, but if you do, Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab is here for you. The company has come out with a line of RPG inspired perfumes. Choose from: Dwarf, Elf, Half-elf, Hafling, Orc, Cleric, Fighter, or Mage and people will not only see that you're a geek, they'll smell it too.

12 of 90 comments (clear)

  1. Actual scents by russotto · · Score: 5, Funny

    Dwarf: Smells strongly of BO, smoke, and earth
    Elf: Smells of BO poorly covered with essential oils
    Half-Elf: More BO, less essential oils.
    Halfling: BO, but at half strength, with a hint of bacon and eggs.
    Orc: 8 times the BO standard, plus the stench of rotten breath.
    Cleric: BO covered with incense
    Fighter: BO, double strength
    Mage: Smells like Brylcreme. Mages can make BO disappear but are clearly at a loss as to what to do with their hair.

    1. Re:Actual scents by Provocateur · · Score: 4, Funny

      I wouldn't want to visit those factories that make them. Tho 'tis rumored, that the fumes emanating from their smokestacks are so strong, that the females in the vicinity tend to shed off their clothes, and their inhibitions, and for the weaker of the species, their control, as they lunge at the nearest male, with intent to mate with wanton abandon...

      --
      WARNING: Smartphones have side effects--most of them undocumented.
    2. Re:Actual scents by StikyPad · · Score: 3, Insightful

      ^^^

      This is why we don't post articles about orcs, people. Jesus Christ.

      --
      https://www.eff.org/https-everywhere
    3. Re:Actual scents by Fnkmaster · · Score: 2

      Somebody's obviously been to more than a few Renaissance Faires.

  2. Eau d' Geek by Rational · · Score: 2

    people will not only see that you're a geek, they'll smell it too.

    Chances are they already do.

    --
    "Be nice, veer left, and never stop thinking" Iain Banks - Walking On Glass
    1. Re:Eau d' Geek by VolciMaster · · Score: 2

      This. Anyone who's ever been at a LAN party knows that a geek doesn't need some fancy pants perfume to smell like a geek.

      if you're putting it on your pants, you're doing it wrong

      --
      antipaucity
  3. buh by heptapod · · Score: 5, Informative

    http://www.blackphoenixalchemylab.com/rpg.html

    Link to the actual site rather than BoingBoing.

  4. Related? by SnarfQuest · · Score: 2

    Is thois story related to the previous one "using the International Space Station as a testbed for a human mission to Mars?" Is that where they determined what anorc should smell like?

    --
    Who would win this election: Andrew Weiner vs Andrew Weiner's weiner.
  5. Don't mod me down! by Translation+Error · · Score: 5, Funny

    I'm not a troll! Honest! It's just my new cologne!

    --
    When someone says, "Any fool can see ..." they're usually exactly right.
  6. The orc your man can smell like! by The-Bobmeister · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hello ladies...
    Take a look at your man, hunched over the computer monitor,
    Now back at me.
    Now back you man, who's been playing WoW for two days straight.
    Sadly, he isn't me - and will likely never live my envious lifestyle or even own a horse,
    But since he's already a hardcore gamer, he may as well smell the part too...

    1. Re:The orc your man can smell like! by Labcoat+Samurai · · Score: 2

      It's a parody of the Old Spice ads. I think it would have been better if he had made himself out to be an orc version of the Old Spice guy rather than the regular Old Spice guy. Maybe could change "I'm on a horse" to "I'm on a dire wolf" as a WoW reference. Oh well, missed opportunity :)

  7. Smell like a... (WoW edition) by Caerdwyn · · Score: 2, Funny

    You can do this yourself! You don't need a perfume factory! Smell like a...

    Tauren: Worchestershire sauce
    Forsaken: "biology experiment" in the 8-month-old milk carton
    Gnome: Fukashina (BOO! BOO! TOO SOON!)
    Blood Elf: Hairspray. More hairspray. More hairspray than that. Gnarly.
    Murloc: Yesterday's sushi
    Night Elf: lavender and rose buds, such a horrible scent they be
    Worgen: wet dog
    Draenei: wet goat
    Goblin: newly-minted roll of quarters
    Dwarf: sacramental whisky, splashed behind the ears
    Troll: ganja! I mean, oregano
    Human: plain nonfat unflavored watered down yogurt
    Blizz GM: capacitor electrolyte

    --
    Everybody gets what the majority deserves.