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Smell Like An Orc
You may have no trouble smelling like an orc after 12 straight hours of raiding, but if you do, Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab is here for you. The company has come out with a line of RPG inspired perfumes. Choose from: Dwarf, Elf, Half-elf, Hafling, Orc, Cleric, Fighter, or Mage and people will not only see that you're a geek, they'll smell it too.
Smell like Steve Ballmer? No thanks.
Cheetos and Mountain Dew. It's what Orcs smell like. It's what Elves smell like. It's the aroma eternal, the olfactory cloak that keeps watch over all gaming tables.
YUCK!
Dwarf: Smells strongly of BO, smoke, and earth
Elf: Smells of BO poorly covered with essential oils
Half-Elf: More BO, less essential oils.
Halfling: BO, but at half strength, with a hint of bacon and eggs.
Orc: 8 times the BO standard, plus the stench of rotten breath.
Cleric: BO covered with incense
Fighter: BO, double strength
Mage: Smells like Brylcreme. Mages can make BO disappear but are clearly at a loss as to what to do with their hair.
which is Mountain Dew.
Chances are they already do.
"Be nice, veer left, and never stop thinking" Iain Banks - Walking On Glass
To wit, the scent of failure.
http://www.blackphoenixalchemylab.com/rpg.html
Link to the actual site rather than BoingBoing.
Countless stories have been written about these races, all of them slightly rehashed with a few small combinations changed but largely the races characteristics and their appearance have largely remained unchanged in all the media they have been portrayed in. Here at last is something new about these overused boiler plate races.
The smell of each of them is something new, will our mental image of them change after smelling them?
Is thois story related to the previous one "using the International Space Station as a testbed for a human mission to Mars?" Is that where they determined what anorc should smell like?
Who would win this election: Andrew Weiner vs Andrew Weiner's weiner.
I'm not a troll! Honest! It's just my new cologne!
When someone says, "Any fool can see
I always play humans in D&D. Why is there no human aroma available?
"Waste not one watt!" - CZ
Calm down, we can smell you just fine already.
Is there an RPG that has a soap and water class?
Pretend there is some witty statement here.
Hello ladies...
Take a look at your man, hunched over the computer monitor,
Now back at me.
Now back you man, who's been playing WoW for two days straight.
Sadly, he isn't me - and will likely never live my envious lifestyle or even own a horse,
But since he's already a hardcore gamer, he may as well smell the part too...
You know, you try to convince people you're just like everyone else, that the stereotypes about geeks aren't true, that you really do know how to talk to girls... Then a story like this one gets out.
#DeleteChrome
They're on to me!
I suffer from attention surplus disorder.
What about half-orcs? Wait, what about trolls? No, wait... what about gnomes?
Besides, classes are mixed with races. A half-elf can be a fighter, a cleric or a mage. That list doesn't make sense to me.
"The body may heal, but the mind is not always so resilient." -- Deus Ex: Human Revolution
$17.50 for 5 ml...You gotta be kiddin' me!!!!
Almost as expensive as printer ink.
Ladies. Look at your Orc. Now back to me. Now back to your Orc. Now back to me.
I was sitting at some distance from the screen when I read that headline, and I genuinely thought it said "Smell Like an Oric".
:-)
I thought some enterprising British company had created some weird-ass fragrance that smelled like retro computer plastic or something. Not entirely unlike this or these guys (*)
Smell like an Orc? Not so much. I thought that (a) your stereotype geek was already pretty competent at that, and (b) it wasn't something that would normally be considered desirable.
(*) Disclaimer; the idea is interesting, but I should warn you that the company's own online shop had some absolutely stinking (ahem) reviews for its poor service according to a website I read a few years back. Might have changed since, I don't know.
"Slashdot - News and Chat Sites Deviant". (Click "homepage" link above for details).
You're a slashdotter. Girls can smell it on you already.
it's a perfume oil, not perfume. you can either apply it sparingly or dilute it with alcohol yourself at, say, 1:15 to 1:30-ish, so it's about equivalent to 100mL of the stuff at the drugstore.
also, perfume is a luxury good commanding luxury prices; this line in particular is catering to a very limited market...
"They were pure niggers." – Noam Chomsky
Gamers, take a lesson from the French, who cannot be conquered because they have two ultimate weapons. Their armpits, and garlic.
...and after my mode points expired, too.
Is there a +1 Funny in the house?
Why, without your clothes, you're naked, Miss Dudley!
Lemme guess...fill the bottle with butyric acid, top of with some random aromatic oil...profit!
Why no Ogre scent?
Are you saying you are not actually human IRL?
"Sadly, he isn't me - and will likely never live my envious lifestyle or even own a horse..."
Moo.
dragonhawk@iname.microsoft.com
I do not like Microsoft. Remove them from my email address.
Unfortunately the Orc scent is just all of the Axe colognes mixed together.
Make friends with American (we're not all bad)
Have them order it for you to their address
Ship it to your country
Enjoy!
Not that hard, mate.
You can do this yourself! You don't need a perfume factory! Smell like a...
Tauren: Worchestershire sauce
Forsaken: "biology experiment" in the 8-month-old milk carton
Gnome: Fukashina (BOO! BOO! TOO SOON!)
Blood Elf: Hairspray. More hairspray. More hairspray than that. Gnarly.
Murloc: Yesterday's sushi
Night Elf: lavender and rose buds, such a horrible scent they be
Worgen: wet dog
Draenei: wet goat
Goblin: newly-minted roll of quarters
Dwarf: sacramental whisky, splashed behind the ears
Troll: ganja! I mean, oregano
Human: plain nonfat unflavored watered down yogurt
Blizz GM: capacitor electrolyte
Everybody gets what the majority deserves.
It smells like goblins. Eat it?
AccountKiller