"Do Not Eat iPod Shuffle": 30 Dumb Warning Labels

jfruhlinger writes "You'd think that people would know electronic equipment isn't for eating, but apparently you'd be wrong. Find out what dumb things companies felt compelled to warn their customers not to do in this list compiled by JR Raphael. Some of the best include: Don't throw your mouse at a co-worker, do not attempt to stop with hands or genitals, and do not put lit candles on phone."

Comments

Label works

[SEWilco]

That label works. I haven't eaten a single iPod Shuffle. At least, none that I've noticed.

Re:Label works

[AdmiralXyz]

The best part about that label was that it was slightly different in the UK: there, it said, "Do not chew iPod shuffle" instead

Just goes to show you what Apple thinks about our intelligence: us dumb Americans would actually swallow the iPod, whereas the rest of the world is much smarter and would only munch on it.

The 30 Labels - because clickthroughs be damned.

[Anonymous Coward]

If you would like the full article and marginally funny commentary, feel free to click through to the article.

For just the 30 labels:

1. Seen in the manual for an SGI computer: "Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers."
2. Seen on a Terrestrial Digital outdoor antenna: "Do not attempt to install if drunk, pregnant, or both."
3. Seen on a Samsung 3D TV disclaimer: "Pregnant women, the elderly, sufferers of serious medical conditions, those who are sleep deprived or under the influence of alcohol should avoid utilizing the unit's 3D functionality."
4. Seen on a computer software package: "Optional modem required."
5. Seen on a microwave oven manual: "Do not use for drying pets."
6. Seen on Apple's iPod Shuffle marketing materials in 2005: âoeDo not eat iPod Shuffle.â
7. Seen on a TV manual: "Do not pour liquids into your television set."
8. Seen on a laser pointer user manual: "Do not look into laser with remaining eye."
9. Seen on the case for Jabra's Drive 'N' Talk car Bluetooth speakerphone: "Never operate your speakerphone while driving."
10. Seen on the packaging for a wristwatch: "Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants."
11. Seen on a chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
12. Seen on a Nintendo GameCube instruction booklet: "Do not attempt to stick head inside deck, which may result in injury."
13. Seen on a Sony Ericsson cell phone: "Be careful of bad language on this mobile phone, because a partnerâ(TM)s feeling is going to be bad." ("Let's keep mobile manners." - from one of the few images image of the actual labels, but strangely not quoted in the article. This is just Engrish, of course.)
14. Seen on an electric thermometer's instruction sheet: "Do not use orally after using rectally."
15. Seen on the instructions for a cordless phone: "Do not put lit candles on phone."
16. Seen on a Boeing 757 plane: "Fragile. Do not drop."
17. Seen on the Styrofoam packaging inside a stereo box: "Do not eat."
18. Seen on materials for a Sony Vaio computer: "Warning! Disconnect telephone lines before opening!"
19. Seen on materials for a Pentium processing chip: "If this product exhibits errors, the manufacturer will replace it for a $2-shipping and a $3-handling charge, for a total of $4.97."
20. Seen on a TV remote control: "Not dishwasher safe."
21. Seen on an electric rotary tool: "This product not intended for use as a dental drill or in medical applications."
22. Seen on a CD player: "Do not use the Ultradisc2000 as a projectile in a catapult."
23. Seen on a microscope: "Objects are smaller and less alarming than they appear."
24. Seen on materials for Microsoft Flight Simulator 2000: "Warning! This program should not be used in flight training! Death or serious injury could result!"
25. Seen on a New Holland tractor: "Avoid death."
26. Seen on a washing machine: "DO NOT put any person in this washer."
27. Seen on the packaging for a Rowenta-brand iron: âoeDo not iron clothes on body.â
28. Seen on a laser printer toner cartridge: "Do not eat toner."
29. Seen in a product's information booklet: "Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet."
30. Seen on a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."

anon - because karma be damned, too.

The Shuffle warning was JOKE

[sootman]

See here. The page (the article only shows a bit of it in the screenshot) said "iPod shuffle: Smaller than a pack of gum and much more fun.* ". The "warning" was a joke.

* actually, it was a [2] footnote, but Slashdot doesn't allow <sup> tags.

I'm calling BS on this list

[sean.peters]

Lots of these are jokes, and I'd like to see some evidence that they ever actually appeared in manuals. The "do not look at laser with remaining eye" thing is a standard laser safety joke that's been going around for years. This whole thing is pretty lame.

Ring ring ring

[mmontour]

"Warning! Disconnect telephone lines before opening!"

As someone who was once zapped when removing a PCI modem, I can understand this one. Phone lines carry a moderate DC voltage, plus a higher AC voltage when ringing. It is a good idea to disconnect those lines before handling the circuit boards they connect to. It wouldn't be lethal, but it's unpleasant and could cause you to yank your hand away suddenly (right into a pointy heat-sink or razor-sharp edge of sheet metal).

Re:That was a joke...

[cp.tar]

Do not look into laser with remaining eye is such an obvious joke that I really, really feel bad for the author. Someone replaced his sense of humor with Folgers and he still hasn’t noticed.

Re:The 30 Labels - because clickthroughs be damned

[TheGreatGraySkwid]

Seen on materials for a Pentium processing chip: "If this product exhibits errors, the manufacturer will replace it for a $2-shipping and a $3-handling charge, for a total of $4.97."

There is exactly zero chance of that being an actual warning label.

OK, maybe .00003 chance.