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Hardware Running Android Fails More Than iPhone, BlackBerry Hardware

hazytodd writes "Repairs to Android smartphones cost wireless carriers $2 billion per year according to a new year-long WDS study that tracked 600,000 support calls around the globe. Android's popularity and the introduction of a number of low-cost smartphones has put a strain on the wireless business model, WDS noted in its report. 'Deployment by more than 25 OEMs and lower-cost product coming to market is leading to higher than average rates of hardware failures and, in turn, return and repair costs.'"

42 of 357 comments (clear)

  1. What are the range of failures? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Do they just spontaneously combust, or are people abusing a piece of electronics until they break? My G1 is still working and it's taken a beating, but I upgraded long ago.

    While on the flip side, I dropped my first gen iPhone into a puddle of water and it broke immediately.

    1. Re:What are the range of failures? by txoof · · Score: 3, Interesting

      I bought a Nexus One from Google and had to return it to an HTC service center twice in the first year of ownership. The main board needed to be replaced the first time. The second time I had to return it for a bad power switch. Apparently when the service center installed the board, a faulty switch was used, or they crimped the ribbon. Either way, it's bad QC on the board, the switch and the labor.

      I really like my N1 and I find FY to be a pretty snappy OS, but I'm not supper impressed with the longevity of the devices. There are no plans to roll the next major OS version for the N1 which doesn't speak too highly of Google or HTC's expectations of longevity. The iPhone line on the other hand has all the products on the latest version of the OS even if every phone doesn't support the latest and greatest features. It would be nice to see a greater commitment to lasting hardware from Google and the various phone makers. I expect a mobile to last around 3 years of normal use; perhaps I'm being too optimistic in the current age of accelerated obsoleteness.

      --
      This one's tricky. You have to use imaginary numbers, like eleventeen... --Hobbes
    2. Re:What are the range of failures? by skids · · Score: 2

      I'm trying to think of what app might be causing more android users to accidentally drop their phones.

    3. Re:What are the range of failures? by davewoods · · Score: 2

      Awkward... that first number is actually 12.6%, not 2.6%

    4. Re:What are the range of failures? by 246o1 · · Score: 2

      The iPhone line on the other hand has all the products on the latest version of the OS even if every phone doesn't support the latest and greatest features. It would be nice to see a greater commitment to lasting hardware from Google and the various phone makers. I expect a mobile to last around 3 years of normal use; perhaps I'm being too optimistic in the current age of accelerated obsoleteness.

      That's a reasonable expectation, but not a true statement about the iPhone line. My family has iPhones, still on the original contract, which didn't handle the rollout of iOS 4 very well and are never going to get iOS5.

      On the other hand, Apple has always been good to me about replacing defective hardware fairly quickly, but with mobile OS development still happening very rapidly (read: demanding more resources as we try to cram 30 years of desktop development into our handsets), it's no surprise that long-term software support isn't as good as on equivalently priced desktop machines (my quite nice desktop cost me about the same as my wife's phone).

      --
      Although the moon is smaller than the earth, it is farther away.
    5. Re:What are the range of failures? by nahdude812 · · Score: 2

      Interesting, I never had a problem with my Nexus One. I only switched phones about a month ago when I got a Nexus S for the NFC support (I'm a developer writing an app against that functionality). I gave my NexOne to my wife who uses it to great success. My one-year old daughter even got it and chewed on it a bunch (very little cosmetic damage, but enough drool got inside to trip the moisture sensor - the trackball glows red). A night in a rice bowl later, and it's still going strong.

      The closest thing I ever had to a problem with it was the car mount would cause the phone to get very hot (not sure if it's the phone or the mount which generates the heat, I tend to think it's the mount because my phone would not overheat at any other time), which of course is bad for battery life, and makes the screen less sensitive while it's overheated.

    6. Re:What are the range of failures? by BagOBones · · Score: 4, Interesting

      Correct, however the minimum you can take from the correct data is that Apple has support EACH model with OS updates for up to 3 years, your typical longest cellular contract, and each device launch with its latest available OS.

      Android phones regularly launch with software 1 version behind and support drops as early as 6 months after launch.

      --
      EA David Gardner -"... but the consumers have proven that actually what they want is fun."
    7. Re:What are the range of failures? by jcombel · · Score: 5, Insightful

      The iPhone line on the other hand has all the products on the latest version of the OS even if every phone doesn't support the latest and greatest features

      i don't feel like this is a super valid comparison, unless you mention that the iPhone ran like horseshit on iOS 2 onward, and the iPhone 3G always ran poorly. now my wife's 3GS runs like butt on iOS 5. further, all the products are not on the latest version of the OS: the iPhone caps out at version iOS 3, and the 3G caps out at version 4. history suggests that iOS5 is the last straw for the 3GS.

      if, perhaps, you mean that all the iPhones currently for sale are on the latest OS, i would point out that all the Nexus phones currently for sale are on the latest OS, and that will be true when ICS is released, also.

      a more accurate comparison of HTC and Google's upgrade path to iOS:
      the original iPhone used the current OS until it didn't get iOS 4, so from 2007-06 to 2010-06, three years, half of which it ran poorly. you have no options for upgrading for new features even if you wanted to.
      the iPhone 3G used the current OS until it didn't get iOS 5, so from 2008-06 to 2011-10, three years and some change, all of which it ran poorly. you have no options for upgrading for new features even if you wanted to.
      the Nexus One is using the current Android phone OS until it doesn't get ICS, so from 2010-01 to ~2011-11 or 12, just under two years, all of which ran excellently. you will have the option of installing custom ROMs with ICS features if you choose to.

      anecdotal, my nexus one also had the defective power button, but since it had previously been dropped onto the highway from my motorcycle (whoops), it was in too ugly a condition for me to send back to the manu for a repair: i figured repair center drones would return it to me as user abuse, and that they'd be right to do so. since i have the option of rooting the phone and installing a custom ROM, i did so and use an app to power down the phone, and the volume buttons to wake it up.

      considering it survived a 75mph bounce and skid on the highway (i had to file down burrs on the metal face), i forgave HTC for the eventual failure of the power button. it is my first HTC phone, but they've sold me on their build quality. my first-gen iPhone was had an unusable crack on the screen that needed replacing after a three-foot drop, and once i repaired that, i found that the impact had also killed the battery, as it wouldn't last longer than half an hour idle, or a few minutes in call.

      HTC's build quality despite my abuse, and their vow to not stop hobbyists from rooting Android phones has guaranteed that my next phone will be an HTC again; probably their first ICS phone that supports NFC. my wife's next phone was looking to be an Apple, but now she's frustrated with how poorly it has been performing this last month so we'll see.

      last thing, i don't agree with Synerg1y's take, "Ya but u can do more on any build of android than any ios build so the comparison isn't really that fair." while the capabilities of the OS are pretty similar, the fine details is pretty objective: i definitely respect that some people (my wife) just want a simple, option-less phone that also connects to the internet. what i mean is, the feature set does not need be mentioned in the same conversation as build quality (though build quality perhaps need be mentioned in the conversation about feature set).

    8. Re:What are the range of failures? by GauteL · · Score: 2

      My phone, an HTC G2 came out in September 2010, got an OS update as recently as two weeks ago.

      You do realise you're talking a little over a year here? Hardly anything to brag about.

    9. Re:What are the range of failures? by DrgnDancer · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Honestly the headline is downright misleading and the summary is almost as bad. I read this article yesterday, and they're not saying that Android phones are inherently worse than iOS or BB devices. The difference is that while iPhones are all produced by Apple (or at least under direct contract for Apple) and Blackberries are all produced by RIM, Android phones come from a number of manufacturers. Some are good phones of good quality (Most of HTC and Motorola's stuff along with several other "main" brands), others are produced on a shoe string by no-name manufacturers and given away free with a contract. On average Android phones fail more often, but the article doesn't really go into a like for like comparison. It seems likely that Droids, Heroes, and Transformers fail at a rate comparable to iPhones.

      The no name Android white boxes are the problem. They fail at a much higher rate than either iDevices, BBs, or their higher quality Android cousins and drag down the averages. They're costing the carriers a lot, because they were "free" to the consumer to begin with, and they have to be replaced quite often. Frankly I'm not feeling too bad for the carriers. They use cheap ass rap to lure people in to sign contracts, it's their problem that the crap predictably breaks and costs them money to replace. A nice phone flame war is always fun, but the title and summary of this otherwise interesting article are complete flamebait.

      --
      I don't need a million points of light, just two points of multi-mode fiber and a 10 Gig-E router.
    10. Re:What are the range of failures? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Insightful

      No, you just have reading comprehension fail.

      Support of the latest OS, 3 years after initial sale. Not the latest OS ever.

      Simply, the graph shows this:
      Every iPhone has had 3 years of support. Every Android has had less than 3 years of support.

    11. Re:What are the range of failures? by froggymana · · Score: 2

      The real art starts coming into play with the unofficial ROMS such as myUI, etc...

      Suppose you bought a car that could not make right turns or turn on its headlights, until you acquired a different engine from some sketchy third party on the internet and figured out how to get it installed by yourself. Assuming you're not an auto mechanic, would you be as dismissive of that car's faults? I don't think so. But here you are, all, "Hey, if a phone doesn't do what you need, root it and flash it with another ROM!"

      The average person does not know how to, and does not want to learn how to, fuck with their phone like that. They want to take it out of the god damned box and use it. Seriously, when are you guys going to realize that?

      But the thing is you don't need those extra things that require root or installation of another ROM. The phone will work fine without the OS upgrade.

      Also, the only people who "need" those extra things are going to be the ones who know how to do them, or have the incentive/will to learn how to do such things.

      --
      "To prevent this day from getting any worse, I'll just read ERROR as GOOD THING" 1GJU8xLuDKDxEs4KLf8fAGyptoDsqvEsBT
    12. Re:What are the range of failures? by BasilBrush · · Score: 2

      "As early as 6 months" doesn't preclude the fact that some people get longer than that. But it does mean that some people are getting just 6 months.

      And that's appalling. It would be unforgivable if it was iPhone. But somehow Android gets an easy ride hereabouts.

    13. Re:What are the range of failures? by quacking+duck · · Score: 2

      The no name Android white boxes are the problem. They fail at a much higher rate than either iDevices, BBs, or their higher quality Android cousins and drag down the averages. They're costing the carriers a lot, because they were "free" to the consumer to begin with, and they have to be replaced quite often. Frankly I'm not feeling too bad for the carriers. They use cheap ass rap to lure people in to sign contracts, it's their problem that the crap predictably breaks and costs them money to replace. A nice phone flame war is always fun, but the title and summary of this otherwise interesting article are complete flamebait.

      It's not flamebait at all. Android advocates are always counting every single Android phone against the iPhone when looking at marketshare. And I would bet that cheap Android phones make up more than half of Android's mobile market share.

      So if the "cheap-ass crap" phones running Android are counted against iPhone numbers, then too bad if they're also dragging the overall Android hardware failure rate up. You can't have it both ways.

  2. You get what you pay for. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Cheap stuff breaks, who knew?

    1. Re:You get what you pay for. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Cheap stuff breaks. Overpriced stuff is held wrong. Therein lies the difference.

  3. What do you expect? by ArhcAngel · · Score: 5, Interesting

    You lower a product price to impulse buy territory but then lock the buyer into a two year contract. I know dozens of people who will brick their phone on purpose in hopes they'll get upgraded. Especially those that get the handset insurance.

    --
    "A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it." - K
  4. Bogus study by moozh84 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    What a garbage article.

    An Android phone is not the same as an Apple or Blackberry phone. Google just makes the software. Apple and Blackberry make their own hardware.

    Therefore you can't really say "Android phones have a high rate of defect". More accurately, you could say "Low-end no-name brand Android phones for that cost under $100 have a high rate of defect". High-end Samsung or HTC Android phones are just as good as their Apple or Blackberry counterparts.

    Low-end phones have existed forever, and they've always had more technical issues. They just never had a high-end operating system. Since Android is free you can get it on even the cheaper phones. This is a good thing because it allows cheaper phones to have top-of-the-line software on a budget price.

    It's no wonder that if you search for the study all you find is links to this and similar articles about this bogus study, but no references to the company or the studies themselves. Obviously a paid interest study.

    1. Re:Bogus study by epiphani · · Score: 2

      I won't argue with your premise - but for some anicdotal comment: I don't know a single person who has a Samsung Galaxy phone (old version or new) that hasn't had to replace it at least once for DOA type problems (died out of the box or within 2 months). I know one who had to replace it three times.

      --
      .
    2. Re:Bogus study by h4rr4r · · Score: 2, Informative

      Google has never made hardware. They contract out the making of Nexus phone the latest of which are Samsung hardware. Google owns a manufacturer but is not one.

    3. Re:Bogus study by txoof · · Score: 2

      Google doesn't make the hardware, but they certainly endorse some of it. In particular, the Nexus line. One would think that Google would choose to endorse only the best those manufacturers have to offer. It certainly doesn't do them any good to endorse crap. My N1 hasn't been too stellar so far having broken twice in the first year. While HTC did a pretty speedy job at replacing it, I wasn't super impressed with a device that craps out in less than a year of gentle ownership.

      --
      This one's tricky. You have to use imaginary numbers, like eleventeen... --Hobbes
    4. Re:Bogus study by SharkLaser · · Score: 2

      Google owns a manufacturer but is not one.

      So in fact they are.

    5. Re:Bogus study by Tharsman · · Score: 3, Informative

      There is one problem with that: Google certifies every single Android phone.

      They have the ability to prevent manufacturers from releasing disposable garbage, but instead they just certify it as long as the maker does not dare remove google tracking services.

      So, although the manufacturer of the specific phones should be listed, Google is the one that opens the door for manufacturers to create and sell said garbage.

    6. Re:Bogus study by gl4ss · · Score: 2

      well, apple doesn't make hardware either.

      pretty much just samsung, nokia and lg(i think) make hardware. of those you could maybe say that just samsung could make the "whole package"..

      --
      world was created 5 seconds before this post as it is.
    7. Re:Bogus study by SpiralSpirit · · Score: 2

      you misunderstand 'certification'. The certification is more about whether the OS will work, not at all about the hardware and how often if fails. You don't even have to get your device certified - you only do so if you want to use the 'android' brand name. otherwise just take the source code and go for it. http://source.android.com/faqs.html#is-compatibility-mandatory

    8. Re:Bogus study by AngryDeuce · · Score: 2

      I don't know a single person who has a Samsung Galaxy phone

      I call bullshit, I think you know exactly one person with a Galaxy. I say this because the few people I have known with one have never had a problem, nor have I really heard of too many problems with the Galaxy specifically. Of course, you don't have to take my word for it, I know you won't anyway.

      I suspect the bigger problem a lot of people have with Android is that it isn't made by Apple and called iOS...

    9. Re:Bogus study by Tharsman · · Score: 2

      They call it the Android Compatibility program [link], I have read they require prototype devices and have flexed this muscle in the past to prevent things they dont like from going into phones despite them causing no compatibility issues [link]

      You can build a device without their blessing, but you are forbidden from using the Android name or adding any Google service like Maps or the Marketplace (and no American carrier will sell a phone without those.)

    10. Re:Bogus study by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Informative

      Google only certifies that the device is compatible with the Market apps.

      http://source.android.com/faqs.html#is-compatibility-mandatory

      "Is compatibility mandatory?

      No. The Android Compatibility Program is optional. Since the Android source code is open, anyone can use it to build any kind of device. However, if a manufacturer wishes to use the Android name with their product, or wants access to Android Market, they must first demonstrate that the device is compatible."

      http://source.android.com/faqs.html#how-are-device-manufacturers-compatibility-claims-validated

      "How are device manufacturers' compatibility claims validated?

      There is no validation process for Android device compatibility. However, if the device is to include Android Market, Google will typically validate the device for compatibility before agreeing to license the Market client software."

    11. Re:Bogus study by Rennt · · Score: 2

      Google doesn't "allow" manufacturers to use Android - they don't have any say in the matter at all. Admittedly, most carrier-supplied devices are licensed to carry the "with Google" logo and access the Market, so they can exercise some quality control there.

  5. Nothing by Manufacturer? by BStroms · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Sadly, even skimming the article I didn't see any data by manufacturer of android devices or, even better, by individual model. That information would have been quite useful.

  6. Re:I wonder who commissioned this study by 140Mandak262Jamuna · · Score: 3, Funny

    It couldn't be someone who has an axe to grind on Android phones, no?

    The axe-grinding app is awesommer in iPhone than in android. Why, just last week for Halloween I needed to grind an axe to do some serial killing for more realistic blood spatters. The Android could not even get a two bars on the 3G network. Before it could even find and down load an app, iPhone had an axe grinding app going at full tilt. It was a close call, whether to use the iGrind to grind the axe or directly use iGrind itself on the victim. Anyway iGrind rules!

    There is an app for it.

    --
    sed -e 's/Chuck Norris/Rajnikant/g' joke > fact
  7. Re:I wonder who commissioned this study by h4rr4r · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Or more likely many of the Android phones are poorly made. ZTE, LG, and every other no name chinese flyby night has an android phone. No surprise they break a lot.

    Add to that they are often free with contact and you get these poorly made phones ending up in the abusive little hands of children.

  8. Re:I wonder who commissioned this study by CanHasDIY · · Score: 2

    It couldn't be someone who has an axe to grind on Android phones, no?

    Contrary to troll belief, that is an excellent question; TFA states that the study was done by "WDS" - however, it never specifies what "WDS" stands for.

    A Google search yields no useful result.

    --
    An enigma, wrapped in a riddle, shrouded in bacon and cheese
  9. Re:I wonder who commissioned this study by sensei+moreh · · Score: 4, Informative

    You do know that LG is Korean, don't you?

    --
    Geology - it's not rocket science; it's rock science
  10. Re:I wonder who commissioned this study by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Informative

    LG isn't a "no name chinese flyby night" company, it's a major player in almost every electronics category and Samsung's primary competitor - not to mention it's Korean. I have used a few different Android phones made from LG and my primary handset is an LG Revolution. They made good hardware. Also name me a single phone - or piece of electronics for that matter - that isn't manufactured by some Chinese company most people haven't heard of, including the iPhone. Oh you can't? Shut the fuck up.

  11. The variety of hardware available is a factor. by pecosdave · · Score: 3, Interesting

    If all you offer is one model at a time (Apple, no capacity differences don't truly count as a different model - radio differences may) it's really easy to make a tried and true hardened product. That being said Apple has been screwing up it's one product last couple of generations, granted not in a way that can't be handled.

    Blackberry OS products, though more diverse than Apple's product line, are still very narrow in offerings.

    Anyone who can slap together a few components can make an Android phone.

    Android is truly a buyers market. It is up the the buyer to do all the research required to buy an Android device. Sticking with a few vendors is usually a safe way to do it. Sure you can probably find a really cheap phone from China from a manufacturer you've never heard of that looks like an iPhone, runs Android, and advertises 1,000 features, but you know deep down in your heart you probably should go with something by HTC instead. The difference between the compared groups is that Android, being free, allows the last guy to exist. In a true unencumbered market you're always going to have your sleeze bag bottom of the barrel stuff, then you're going to have your sexy Cadillac stuff. My EVO is over a year old and I don't see myself giving it up for a different model for at least six months, probably more, however if I were to have bought the budget "free" phone from any carrier at the same time, Android or not, there's a pretty good chance I would be growing tired of it by now, if it still worked at all.

    This is no different than the way I always buy Wrangler Carpenter pants for work even though I could just as easily go to a discount store and buy random generic brands. I've done the latter, and sometimes I've gotten really good pants that last, and sometimes I got trash. Apple only sells the "Wrangler" product and wont allow anyone else to produce the equivalent. Blackberry only allows the Wrangler and a couple of others like Levi and Carhart. Android says "Make em all!".

    These findings don't detract from Android. In my book it actually uplifts Android. What if all I wanted was a cheap but descent phone, not for making phone calls but for my kid to play Angry Birds on and listen to her Chipmunk albums? Chances are she's going to drop anything I get her in the toilet eventually so quality isn't the highest priority. I can get a bargain basement Android phone that doesn't break the bank. With Apple I have to mortgage her bicycle and LPS collection to buy an iPhone and lets face it, Blackberry isn't the best choice for Angry Birds. (Truth is I gave my kid my old iPhone 3G, but I seriously considered getting her an Android phone from Cowboom.com instead)

    Articles like this that intentionally overlook the obvious are mostly FUD.

    --
    The preceding post was not a Slashvertisement.
  12. Re:I wonder who commissioned this study by Jeng · · Score: 2

    Google makes the operating system shithead, not the hardware.

    You want to talk shit about the hardware used in android devices then talks shit about the manufacturers since they would be the ones to blame.

    --
    Don't know something? Look it up. Still don't know? Then ask.
  13. Re:I wonder who commissioned this study by hawguy · · Score: 2

    There's a physical wall between batteries and the other parts. Just admit it, Google starts something but they never finish or polish it. This is why Android is failing too.

    Why would you expect a software maker to be responsible for hardware faults? If your PC's power supply bursts into flames, would you blame Microsoft for not finishing or polishing your PC?

  14. Re:I wonder who commissioned this study by Americano · · Score: 2

    Calling cheap, low-end phones "cheap low-end phones" doesn't mean that every other product made by the company is a cheap piece of junk. It's too bad those washing machines are irrelevant to a discussion of the quality of "garbage low end phones."

    Unless those washing machines run Android too? It must be a real bitch to fit them in your pocket though... people said the iPad was too big!

  15. Cost. by Caerdwyn · · Score: 2

    This is what happens when you compete on the basis of cost.

    When it comes right down to it, there's not a lot to differentiate one Android phone from another. It's becoming a commodity market, and a phone buyer would be satisfied with any of several options. What would make someone choose one phone over another? Leaving out the fucktards who reflexively hate on Apple just because Apple doesn't place virgin tech-nerds on a pedestal, someone will choose one phone over another based upon:

    • Price
    • Specific features
    • Carrier

    That's about all there is.

    If you have two phones with similar features, and one is cheaper than the other, you buy the cheaper phone. If you, the seller, want to not go out of business by losing money on every sale you have to reduce your cost of goods. Therefore, your build quality will suffer, and you end up with the situation the article describes.

    If you have two phones with the same price, you'll buy the one with a better feature set. If you're packing more features into the same sale price, you're spending less on each feature. Therefore, to meet the price point, you're sacrificing quality. Once again, you end up with the described situation.

    If you're choosing based upon carrier, and you're not buying the phone outright (i.e. you have a contract and a subsidized phone price) you have a limited selection. Since the carrier wants to maximize profit on a phone, they'll offer the models with the lowest wholesale cost. To meet that lower cost, the phone makers will cut corners. And... surprise, reliability suffers.

    Therefore, as long as the phones are pretty much interchangeable from the user's point of view, price will loom large... and the price-race to the bottom will dominate everything else. Phone manufacturers aren't charities; they have to show a profit to stay in business. Therefore to meet lower prices, cost cutting must occur. This is what it means to exist in a commodity market with paper-thin margins, and to operate in a market where people are willing to buy crap.

    Premium Android phones are just fine. The problem is that there are a lot of non-premium Android phones, and they get lumped in with the Nexus and Droid product lines. There's a bunch of no-name crap out there that is being pushed solely on the basis of the Android name, and it's ruining things for everybody involved.

    Does everyone understand now why Apple doesn't participate in the market segments dominated by commodity items? Does everybody understand now why cheap Android phones break? Does everybody understand now why cheap Android phones exist at all? If you want quality, you MUST open your wallet. It costs money to make a good phone, and therefore it costs money to buy a good phone. Complaining at the top of your lungs doesn't make a good phone cheaper or a cheap phone better.

    --
    Everybody gets what the majority deserves.
  16. Date starts at last sale. by Belial6 · · Score: 2

    My HTC G2 got an update this morning. It is the 3rd or 4th update I have received since I got it. That puts it just about on par with the 3GS that I have. Of course, none of this matters when you consider that Apple is still selling 3GSes and HTC is still selling G2s. It doesn't matter whether we are talking about desktop OSes, cell phones, or buggy whips. When discussing the longevity of support, you start counting from the day the product is last sold. Not the day that it is first sold.

  17. What if I want "disposable"? by Namarrgon · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Seriously, I recently bought a new Huawei U8300 for $29, no contract. Not as a phone (though it works fine), but as a dirt-cheap, networked GPS & IP camera that'll run any Android app - for $29. How awesome is that?

    This is the advantage of real diversity (that you want to block) - there is something for everyone. Thank Christ Google saved us from Jobsian monoculture.

    --
    Why would anyone engrave "Elbereth"?