Toronto School Bans Hard Balls

In an attempt to finally "think of the children," Earl Beatty Public school has prohibited students from playing with balls after a "few serious incidents" in which students and staff were hit or almost hit by balls. From the article: "The happy days of kicking a ball around at recess ended Monday after students took home a letter advising that henceforth, no child could bring a soccer ball, football, volleyball or even tennis ball to the junior and senior school in the area of Coxwell and Danforth Aves." I assume all lunches will soon be taken via feeding tube to minimize choking hazards.

Comments

No ball jokes in the comments.

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm watching you.

Re:No ball jokes in the comments.

[Anonymous Coward]

"No ball jokes in the comments."

Can we at least make jokes about Coxwell Ave.?

What next?

[ksd1337]

Will they ban pencils, because they can be sharpened into "stabbing weapons?"

Re:What next?

[baelgren]

Don't forget the grave danger posed by paper cuts - they should ban paper too. Computers can cause eyestrain, those should probably go. Many text books are heavy and could cause injury if dropped or thrown, so those are gone. I guess the kids should all just go to individual padded cells where they listen to instructional reading piped over speakers....wait, speakers can be turned up too loud causing hearing loss......

Re:What next?

[pmgarvey]

Paper cuts are the worst kind of injury because they hurt like hell but no one gives you any sympathy.There should really be a movement to recognise the seriousness of the paper cut.

Re:What next?

[Oswald McWeany]

Well... maybe not ban pencils... but perhaps force people to need a license to obtain a pencil- and maybe go through a 60 day wait period to stop crimes of passion.

Pencils are a dangerous weapon!

- I'm just not sure what they would use to fill out the application form for the license.

Re:What next?

[19thNervousBreakdown]

Whacking someone with an iPad is against the EULA.

Balls, lacking software, are not protected by IP laws. Ergo, iPads are safer than balls.

Re:What next?

[SeaFox]

Good God man! Haven't you heard the pen is mightier than the sword!
We can't have children carrying an item more deadly than a claymore.

Slashdot, what is up today?

[Baloroth]

First, a story about a Boeing "Penetrator". Now, a summary about balls. "In an attempt to finally "think of the children" Earl Beatty Publid school has prohibited students from playing with balls" practically shoves it in your face. Dick jokes... actually, are still pretty funny. Nevermind go right ahead.

The ban on hard balls being brought to school is a “proactive measure. It’s also a preventative measure,”

Yes. That would work as a preventative too. Most schools take a slightly... different approach, but I suppose banning balls period works too. To prevent head injuries.