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Kim Jong-Il Was an "Internet Expert"
pigrabbitbear writes "The late Kim Jong Il made many bizarre claims and bestowed upon himself many extravagant titles during his iron-clad rule over North Korea. But here's one that's particularly interesting in light of the recent SOPA debate – 'Internet expert.' The DPRK's Dear Leader fancied himself as such during an international summit in 2007. Seven years prior, he had asked U.S. Secretary of State Madeline Albright for her email address, indicating that the North Korean internet black hole was perhaps not as thoroughly opaque as we made it out to be — at least not for those at the top."
But Glorious Leader was the first to truly MASTER it.
And, unlike Gore, Glorious Leader at least put his money where his mouth was on global warming. At the time of his death his country used less electricity than any other Asian country and he had decreased its carbon footprint significantly by reducing its population by over a million people in just 15 years. And no polluting Western factories spewing carbon dioxide into the air or wasteful beef production in Glorious Leader's country. Suck on THAT, China and Western imperialists!
SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
Surfing porn all day does not make one an internet expert.
Anybody who thought that North Korea's draconian rules applied to those at the top (especially to the one at the very pinnacle) does not understand how totalitarian systems work, or what their purpose is.
The truth is that all men having power ought to be mistrusted. James Madison
The way Kim Jong-Il is holding the mouse in the accompanying picture, there is no denying of his internet expertise.
That looks like another fine picture for http://kimjongillookingatthings.tumblr.com/.
But Glorious Leader was the first to truly MASTER it.
And, unlike Gore, Glorious Leader at least put his money where his mouth was on global warming. At the time of his death his country used less electricity than any other Asian country and he had decreased its carbon footprint significantly by reducing its population by over a million people in just 15 years. And no polluting Western factories spewing carbon dioxide into the air or wasteful beef production in Glorious Leader's country. Suck on THAT, China and Western imperialists!
It's "Dear Leader," not "Glorious Leader." (His daddy was "Great Leader." And so far, Junior is "Great Successor," which reveals a lot about how the state apparatus views the new kid.)
I've noticed a few things from all the news footage available of Kim Jong-Il:
1. Kim is generally doing one of three things: pointing/gesturing at something, watch someone pointing/gesturing at something, or clapping. Never speaking, never doing something actually interesting.
2. People in North Korea LOVE clapping for some reason. All the political footage involving Kim tends to involve a shitload of clapping. If the leader is clapping at something, everyone else is that's for sure. Maybe everyone's really happy over there?
Either the guy has never bothered to speak on camera, or the regime was afraid he'd say something stupid.
To all newcomers - people here are very close-minded and can't handle complaints about Linux. Keep this in mind.
When I think back on the many great accomplishments of this man, there is no doubt that he will have the longest and greatest obituary ever written. A short exceprt:
The only man known to have shot 18 consecuative holes-in-one during a round of golf. In 2007, Kim Jong Il led the New England Patriots to a perfect 19-0 NFL season. In addition to his sporting exploits, Il was a noted Internet expert. Known for releasing the worlds first internet worm. His fame exploded when he devised a method of breaking public key encryption. He is believed to be the sole author of the Windows Vista operating system.
I'm in awe of this man.
What was his /. nym?
Find someone who stopped posting around the time he croaked. I'm guessing a pretty low UID, since he was pretty old. We now know I was not him, just in case you were wondering. Unless I'm an automated poster. I suppose I could pass a Turing test to prove it, or there's always the old "there's a tortoise, lying on its back in the desert. You're not helping it. Why are you not helping it?"
Oh I know, I haven't seen that "cmdrtaco" guy post in awhile. Are there any references to cmdrtaco having great hair and liking kimchi? That would explain a lot.
"Science flies us to the moon. Religion flies us into buildings." - Victor Stenger
This is what typical computer lab looks in North Korean school: http://tema.ru/travel/north-korea-3/_MG_0082.jpg I guess if you are the only one in the country who has a modern computer, that'll make you an internet expert :)
o_O
In a long and varied life, Kim Jong Il made one undeniable and catastrophic mistake; he claimed to be an internet expert.
After making this claim, his life was made a misery by a succession of late night calls from friends and family demanding his help in ridding their PCs of various pieces of malware.
It was during one of these conversations, during which he was explaining to his elderly aunt for the thirty-seventh time why she shouldn't click the links in random e-mails claiming to be from DHL and talking her through the process of reinstalling Windows so that it would stop flashing up photos of young ladies taking their clothes off every time she tried to google for humorous cat stories, that his blood pressure finally reached critical point and his heart exploded.
Case solved.
This could apply to other areas of North Korean life.
"I'm a food expert, and I've seen what damage it can do... you don't want it."
Redundancy is good And also good.