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Face-Scanning Vending Machine Denies Children Access To Pudding

Posted by timothy on from the you-are-an-unfit-mother dept.

smitty777 writes "What do you do when you spend over a billion dollars on products targeted specifically for adults? Simple, just put a device on your pudding dispensing vending machines that scans faces, and denies the delicious food to the kiddies. The Minority Report-like device will apparently judge the age of the individual based on the space between their eyes and ears. If the criteria is not met, the vending machine will shut down and ask the individual to step away from the machine. There are some vending machine combos that this makes sense for, but seriously — pudding?"

11 of 215 comments (clear)

  1. You still can't have your pudding... by sethstorm · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...even if you've had your meat.

    (apologies to Pink Floyd)

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    1. Re:You still can't have your pudding... by azalin · · Score: 4, Funny

      unless it's black...

    2. Re:You still can't have your pudding... by jamesh · · Score: 4, Funny

      Even better would be if the machine screamed "Stand still laddie" while it was trying to do the facial recognition :)

    3. Re:You still can't have your pudding... by orkysoft · · Score: 5, Funny

      That is pretty childish behaviour.

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      I suffer from attention surplus disorder.
  2. Sorry Cartman. by lewko · · Score: 4, Funny

    Now they just need vending machines that can detect little fat kids.

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  3. My evil plan by Fuzzums · · Score: 5, Funny

    Put a scale in front of it.
    Anyone over 100 Kilo will not be served :)

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    Privacy is terrorism.
    1. Re:My evil plan by ooshna · · Score: 3, Funny

      Hey my mother was a champion shot-putter thank you very much.

    2. Re:My evil plan by JustOK · · Score: 5, Funny

      so was my dad. He put away over 20 shots a day for years.

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      rewriting history since 2109
  4. Can you blame them? by jasonq · · Score: 3, Funny

    It's a gateway dessert.

  5. Because you can't untell a lie by tepples · · Score: 4, Funny

    On the other hand noses keep growing throughout life.

    Because you can't untell a lie.

  6. Waah by Niscenus · · Score: 3, Funny

    Stop acting like a child. So you don't get the respect the wearers of big-boy pants do; why do you think that is? Have you considered that Person B had always been a whiney li'l twit what had it coming?

    No, you just walk in on an abstraction and assume you know what's going on, but I've know Persons A, B, C and E for three years and D and G for two. I just met Persons F and H last week and won't comment on them, but lemme tell you, A has always been a 'hole and B whines about crap like this all of the time. Person E used to go out with Person A, but didn't appreciate being talked down to and Person B seems unaware that sex is a thing that happens.

    I don't want to tell you about the frakked up deal between Persons D and G, but Person C told me that D and G used to think they were related, and now that they know they're not...well, it's still weird. I don't normally listen to Person C, but ever since I got a bleedin' ear-full from Person B about Person A, I'd rather keep all Person socializing to a minimum, but Person C just barges in from time to time when escaping this line of BS.

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