Michael Bay To Remake TMNT As Aliens

Nidi62 writes "We all know that Michael Bay loves to put 86 minutes of explosions into a 90-minute movie. But it appears that he has found a new way to screw up a movie. He is directing a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot in which the turtles are not created with ooze: they are 'from an alien race, and they are going to be tough, edgy, funny and completely loveable.' No word yet on whether he's consulting with George Lucas on how to totally destroy the origin and essence of a classic story." Responding to criticism, Bay thoughtfully explained that fans need to "chill."

Comments

Just what Hollywood needs....

[scottbomb]

ANOTHER remake. How sad.

Re:Just what Hollywood needs....

[tragedy]

The jury is still out on the Star Trek "reboot" movie? I watched it in the theatres when it came out. I should preface the next thing I say by pointing out that I have eclectic tastes and can enjoy just about anything. As a dumb action-comedy/self-parody movie, I found the movie enjoyable enough. As part of the actual Star Trek franchise though, the jury is in. It wasn't any good.

For starters, it's a time travel story. Time travel stories can be quite good sometimes, but 90% of Star Trek time travel stories aren't very good. You have to be very careful with time travel as a plot point. Beyond that:
* Red matter? They drill to the core of a planet to turn it into a black hole with something called "red matter". The stuff works without needing to be at the core of a planet, which means you could destroy a planet just by dropping some on the surface, but the villains still need to drill a hole to the core.

* Crazy villains. It's common for villains to be crazy. But the villains in this story were cloudcuckooland nutso crazy. Their planet blows up, so they go after someone who was trying to stop it for revenge. They end up back in time and then wait around for decades for him to show up so they can commit genocide a few times while he watches. All this for love of their lost empire. For some reason, despite being from the future, with advanced technological knowledge and future technology in their possession, they don't hook up with their beloved empire and share the technology.

* Wacky supernova. Despite a supernova being a natural phenomenon we understand pretty well and not one of the wacky "anomalies" that crop up in the Star Trek universe, it apparently manages to hit the entire Romulan empire at once by surprise (they knew it was coming, but it supposedly arrived early), even though everyone and their mother has FTL communication and starships. For that to happen, the entire Romulan empire would need to be in one star system and the star of that system would have had to be the one that went supernova, which means that an entire technologically advanced civilization was living for centuries with sufficient technology to evacuate in a place they would have to know was doomed at any moment.

*Wacky supernova solution. Red matter makes black holes. Got it. How exactly does that stop a supernova, which is the big explosion when a Star collapses into a black hole?

*Wacky chases. Guy runs from space monster. Monster gets attacked by bigger monster which then chases guy. This isn't action movie stuff, this is wacky comedy stuff. This is the sort of thing that happens to Wile E. Coyote, not captains of the Enterprise. This is just stupid and it this sort of thing happens way too much in movies these days. Either directors or general audiences are clearly taking too much crack.

There are all kinds of other problems. Of course plenty of stuff like this is present in all kinds of other Star Trek material, but it's all present in the stuff that we put our faces in our hands and groan for, not the good stuff. Lots of directors (especially those like Bay), just really don't seem to get it. This seems to have always been the case. Just look at all the Batman movies made by the people who seemed to have their minds stuck on the old TV show.

Re:And in other news

[chispito]

5 Insightful? For linking to the Onion?

Re:And in other news

[Pseudonym Authority]

The `insightful' mod isn't because people think that it is a factual report, but that it is insightful that the Onion, a comical `news' source, basically predicted the article.

Life imitates art, blah blah blah....

Re:Oh No!

[CastrTroy]

There's always Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

Re:Bay needs to...

[misexistentialist]

Someone getting paid millions of dollars should damn well look ideal. If there is a problem with society it's the conservatism that keeps grannies like Megan Fox around instead of giving new talent a chance to fulfill their potential.

From a scifi perspective, STXI sucked.

[master_p]

TOS was an exceptionally good scifi series, when it comes to televised scifi. In 1966, when computers at home, mobile telephony, tablets, etc were unheard of, and when most of the world did not even have television, there comes a show that;

-shows people working on computer screens, by touching them.
-have mobile communicators.
-people work on a computer network
-computer accepting voice commands

Let's also not forget warp drive, teleportation, antigravity, and the first ever interracial kiss on TV.

That was groundbreaking, wasn't it?

Fast forward 40 years later, and much of what ST showed has been implemented in one form or another. We have networked computers, mobile computers, communicators, tablets, and interacial relationships are aplenty every day on TV.

So, what this new movie offers us over the old one, from a scifi perspective? nothing at all.

Not only that, but as an action movie, it is rather lame. The plot holes are as big as Kirk's ego, and all the consistence the old universe had had gone out of the window.

To me, that means one thing only: it was a bad movie.

Did it make a huge profit? yes, it did. But that does not mean anything. The movie audience has been brainwashed with so many bad movies the last 20 years, that they do not know what a good movie is any more. They will watch any shit thrown at them, if they get their entertainment fix. The general audience watches Big Brother, America's Most Wanted and every MTV teenage trash series. For them, STXI may have been even intellectual, but that does not mean it was a good film.

Re:From a scifi perspective, STXI sucked.

[TheRaven64]

A few other things that were groundbreaking in Star Trek:

• A (black!) female officer as a member of the bridge crew.
• A Russian officer, at the height of the cold war (okay, a lot of the writers used him as comic relief, but even so...)
• An intelligent asian who was an expert in a European sword fighting style (asian actors at the time were mostly comic relief, eastern martial artists - as Sulu was in the 2009 film, or other stereotypes in US TV)

It wasn't just portraying technical developments in the future, it was portraying social changes. In the 2009 films, Sulu fought with a katana in a Japanese style, Kirk was a frat boy, Spock was a geek, and, aside from the space ships, it could easily have been set in the USA today.