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Santorum Suspends Presidential Campaign

bobwrit writes with this excerpt from CNN: "Conservative challenger Rick Santorum announced Tuesday that he is suspending his Republican presidential campaign after a weekend of 'prayer and thought,' effectively ceding the GOP nomination to front-runner Mitt Romney. Santorum made his announcement after the weekend hospitalization of his 3-year-old daughter Isabella, and in the face of tightening poll numbers in Pennsylvania — the state he represented as a U.S. senator — ahead of the April 24 primary. 'Ladies and gentlemen, we made the decision to get into this race around our kitchen table, against all the odds,' Santorum told a news conference, flanked by emotional family members. 'We made a decision over the weekend that while the presidential race for us is over, and I will suspend my campaign effective today, we are not done fighting.'"

11 of 577 comments (clear)

  1. Good riddance by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Santorum pulls out after repeatedly coming in number two

  2. Good riddance by Reverand+Dave · · Score: 3, Funny

    Good bye crazy douche-bag, you will not be missed.

    Signed, Someone with a college degree a.k.a a snob.

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    I got here through a series of tubes
  3. "Nerds don't care about politics" -- tomhath by apparently · · Score: 5, Funny
    To my dearest Thomas,
    The results of elections affect the entire world. Please instruct your ignorance to go fuck itself, and please take time out of your day to send Mr. Frothy-Mix a letter asking him how he thinks people without insurance deal with the hospitalization of a 3-year-old.

    Yours,

    yours.

  4. Keep 'em coming by Just+Some+Guy · · Score: 3, Funny

    "Santorum Wiped Out"
    "Santorum Expelled"
    "Santorum Voided"
    "Santorum Discharged"
    "Santorum Creamed"

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    Dewey, what part of this looks like authorities should be involved?
    1. Re:Keep 'em coming by Just+Some+Guy · · Score: 5, Funny

      Santorum.com was registered nearly 11 years ago. You're full of crap if you think that the stain on his name can be wiped out in a single spurt. The seminal example of search bombing coming out in a single wash is a little hard to swallow.

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      Dewey, what part of this looks like authorities should be involved?
  5. Re:News for Nerds? by PopeRatzo · · Score: 1, Funny

    F) Penn Jillette style atheist nerd free love libertarian

    Is that supposed to be a good thing?

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    You are welcome on my lawn.
  6. This just in...Romney's out too. by gstrickler · · Score: 5, Funny

    In a surprise announcement, Mitt Romney announced that he too is suspending his campaign for the Republican Presidential nomination.

    In his shockingly candid speech, Romney said "I only stayed in the race this long to ensure that Rick Santorum didn't get the nomination. Now, with Santorum out of the race, it's time for me to withdraw and leave the contest to the two candidates whose beliefs actually differ from those of Barack Obama".

    "The American People deserve a choice of candidates who actually have differing beliefs. The only differences in belief between myself and Barack Obama, is that I'm a Mormon, and he is not. My policies when I was the governor of Massachusetts were virtually identical to President Obama's policies. If I were elected, you would be hard pressed to find anything that I would do differently. Therefore, I'm stepping down to ensure the voters have an actual choice in November."

    When asked who he was going to endorse, he declined comment. This story may contain factual errors, and was, in fact, entirely made up. However, as making up facts and reporting on whatever we want is now commonplace, we figured you wouldn't notice.

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    make imaginary.friends COUNT=100 VISIBLE=false
  7. Re:News for Nerds? by the_other_chewey · · Score: 3, Funny

    santorum was against porn which effects many nerds!

    Only by accident, usually.

  8. Re:News for Nerds? by Sponge+Bath · · Score: 5, Funny

    I've never heard Teller complain.

  9. Headline tweeted by Jon Stewart by frank249 · · Score: 4, Funny

    #TDSBreakingNews @RickSantorum suspends presidential campaign. Dibs on the "Romney Licks Santorum" headline.

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    Today's vices may be tomorrow's virtues.