Finally, a Shark With a Laser Attached To Its Head

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Finally, a Shark With a Laser Attached To Its Head

Posted by samzenpus on Wednesday May 2, 2012 @07:28AM from the it's-about-time dept.

Freshly Exhumed writes in with a Wired story about a nerd/super-villian dream come true. "Marine biologist-cum-TV personality Luke Tipple attached a 50-milliwatt green laser to a lemon shark off the coast of the Bahamas in late April. The escapade was sponsored by Wicked Lasers, a consumer-focused laser manufacturer based in Hong Kong that produces some of the most brilliant — and potentially dangerous — handheld lasers in the world. 'This was definitely a world first,' Tipple told Wired. 'Initially, I told them no. I thought it was a frivolous stunt. But then I considered that it would give us an opportunity to test our clips and attachments, and whatever is attached to that clip, I really don't care. It was a low-powered laser that couldn't be dangerous to anyone, and there's actually useful applications in having a laser attached to the animal.'"

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Yes! by snowsmann · 2012-05-02 07:28 · Score: 5, Funny

No oblig anything... a freaking shark with a freaking laser on it's head...

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timeo Danaos, et dona ferentis
1. Re:Yes! by Anonymous Coward · 2012-05-02 08:26 · Score: 2, Insightful
  
  This is 3rd grade stuff, man.
  Grammar nazis get their panties in a bind if you use the present perfect verb tense when the present perfect progressive would have been more appropriate. Knowing the difference between 'it's' and 'its' is more the equivalent of saying '2+2=5' and then calling the person who corrected you a 'math nazi'.
2. Re:Yes! by tinkerton · 2012-05-02 08:48 · Score: 2, Insightful
  
  Sharks are cool and they know it.
So...Bright.. by Anonymous Coward · 2012-05-02 07:31 · Score: 3, Informative

50 mW is enough laser power to blind you quite quickly...
1. Re:So...Bright.. by cheaphomemadeacid · 2012-05-02 07:39 · Score: 4, Informative
  
  hah, mod -1 boring, this baby can burn your eyes out with a reflection in a raindrop http://www.wickedlasers.com/lasers/Spyder_III_Pro_Arctic_Series-96-37.html 1W laser :D
2. Re:So...Bright.. by Khyber · 2012-05-02 10:41 · Score: 2
  
  You can get laser goggles that will protect you from most of the exposure of higher-powered lasers. It is simply a combination of a highly-reflective surface plus a bandgap filter. You'd get a 530-580nm filter to work with green lasers and be safe.
  
  --
  Still waiting on Serviscope_minor to wake up to fucking reality and realize that Jessica Price isn't going to fuck him.
mr bond I expect you to be chum by Joe_Dragon · 2012-05-02 07:32 · Score: 3, Funny

mr bond I expect you to be chum
Sceptic by Etz+Haim · 2012-05-02 07:32 · Score: 5, Funny

Something tells me this shark thing is a lemon...
Stupid by Dan+East · 2012-05-02 07:36 · Score: 5, Funny

That's the stupidest thing I've ever seen. There's no way a shark could aim a laser mounted like that. It needs it on its head so the shark can properly sight down the beam and destroy the commanded target.

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Better known as 318230.
1. Re:Stupid by Farmer+Tim · 2012-05-02 08:09 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Focusing on consumers is also a dumb idea for a laser company. You get more repeat customers when they're not on fire.
  
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  Blank until /. makes another boneheaded UI decision.
The next frontier by GameboyRMH · 2012-05-02 07:36 · Score: 5, Funny

To place one on an ill-tempered mutant sea bass.

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"When information is power, privacy is freedom" - Jah-Wren Ryel
World Domination by rwise2112 · 2012-05-02 07:37 · Score: 5, Funny

I like this quote: "...and there's actually useful applications in having a laser attached to the animal."

.... Like world domination

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"For every expert, there is an equal and opposite expert"
1. Re:World Domination by amicusNYCL · 2012-05-02 08:10 · Score: 2
  
  I like this quote:
  
  But even serious hardcore shark experts like Van Sommeran can relish in the bold absurdity of a laser-equipped shark: “Everything tilts toward this being a disadvantage for the shark. Its laser might blind a pilot and piss off the FAA. Or North Korea might counter-attack it,” he said.
  
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  "Our two-party system is like a bowl of shit looking at itself in a mirror." - Lewis Black
2. Re:World Domination by The+Grim+Reefer · 2012-05-02 08:51 · Score: 2
  
  I like this quote: "...and there's actually useful applications in having a laser attached to the animal." .... Like world domination
  I was wondering the same thing, as well as who would have the need for a" useful application" like this. Besides some bald guy with a white Persian cat.
Our undoing... by moondo · 2012-05-02 07:41 · Score: 2

And so it begins...
Fin by Anonymous Coward · 2012-05-02 07:44 · Score: 2, Informative

The laser was attached to the dorsal fin, not the head. Seriously, how can you get this wrong?
Just 5mw is dangerous by Maximum+Prophet · 2012-05-02 07:53 · Score: 4, Informative

http://www.innovations-report.com/html/reports/medicine_health/report-44173.html

Dennis Robertson, M.D., Mayo Clinic ophthalmologist, conducted investigations with a green laser pointer directed to the retina of a patient’s eye; the eye was scheduled for removal because of a malignancy. The green laser damaged the pigment layer of the retina ...
This was a "street legal" 5mw laser pointer. A misplaced 50mw beam will cause damage to your eyes, probably in the form of microspots, because laser light is will focused by your eye's lens. Unfortunately the brain will fill in microspots in the retina until there are too many, or you get too old, then you have vision problems.

The moral: Beware friggin sharks carrying friggin lasers.

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All ideas^H^H^H^H^Hprocesses in this post are Patent Pending. (as well as the process of patenting all postings)
1. Re:Just 5mw is dangerous by Anonymous Coward · 2012-05-02 08:00 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  From your link:
  
  Mayo Clinic ophthalmologists have found commercially available Class 3A green laser pointers can cause visible harm to the eye’s retina with exposures as short as 60 seconds
  
  If a shark is staring directly at you for 60 seconds, chances are that some minor eye damage is not really your primary concern.
Re:"Not dangerous to anyone"? by MarkGriz · 2012-05-02 07:58 · Score: 5, Funny

Add a warning:
Caution: Use remaining eye to avoid being eaten by shark.

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Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.
is more the equivalent by ZombieBraintrust · 2012-05-02 08:35 · Score: 4, Insightful

"is more the equivalent " not sure what is wrong here but something sounds off