Finally, a Shark With a Laser Attached To Its Head

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Finally, a Shark With a Laser Attached To Its Head

Posted by samzenpus on Wednesday May 2, 2012 @07:28AM from the it's-about-time dept.

Freshly Exhumed writes in with a Wired story about a nerd/super-villian dream come true. "Marine biologist-cum-TV personality Luke Tipple attached a 50-milliwatt green laser to a lemon shark off the coast of the Bahamas in late April. The escapade was sponsored by Wicked Lasers, a consumer-focused laser manufacturer based in Hong Kong that produces some of the most brilliant — and potentially dangerous — handheld lasers in the world. 'This was definitely a world first,' Tipple told Wired. 'Initially, I told them no. I thought it was a frivolous stunt. But then I considered that it would give us an opportunity to test our clips and attachments, and whatever is attached to that clip, I really don't care. It was a low-powered laser that couldn't be dangerous to anyone, and there's actually useful applications in having a laser attached to the animal.'"

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Yes! by snowsmann · 2012-05-02 07:28 · Score: 5, Funny

No oblig anything... a freaking shark with a freaking laser on it's head...

--
timeo Danaos, et dona ferentis
1. Re:Yes! by snowsmann · 2012-05-02 07:56 · Score: 1, Offtopic
  
  Thanks AC Grammar Nazi!
  
  --
  timeo Danaos, et dona ferentis
2. Re:Yes! by Anonymous Coward · 2012-05-02 08:12 · Score: 1
  
  You're welcome. :)
3. Re:Yes! by Anonymous Coward · 2012-05-02 08:26 · Score: 2, Insightful
  
  This is 3rd grade stuff, man.
  Grammar nazis get their panties in a bind if you use the present perfect verb tense when the present perfect progressive would have been more appropriate. Knowing the difference between 'it's' and 'its' is more the equivalent of saying '2+2=5' and then calling the person who corrected you a 'math nazi'.
4. Re:Yes! by supersloshy · 2012-05-02 08:26 · Score: 1, Flamebait
  
  by Anonymous Coward
  You're still here! Oh my goodness, I was so worried! I thought you had gone for good! :'D
  
  --
  "Our country is not nearly so overrun with the bigoted as it is overrun with the broadminded." -Archbishop Fulton Sheen
5. Re:Yes! by Gilmoure · 2012-05-02 08:35 · Score: 1
  
  "Romanes eunt domus"?
  People called Romanes, they go, the house?
  
  --
  I drank what? -- Socrates
6. Re:Yes! by Quiet_Desperation · 2012-05-02 08:35 · Score: 1
  
  I'm so going to deviantart to commission a plushie version with working laser.
7. Re:Yes! by tinkerton · 2012-05-02 08:48 · Score: 2, Insightful
  
  Sharks are cool and they know it.
8. Re:Yes! by camperdave · 2012-05-02 08:55 · Score: 1
  
  No, "its head". Also http://xkcd.com/585/
  
  No, "its fin".
  
  --
  When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!
9. Re:Yes! by TheReaperD · 2012-05-02 09:07 · Score: 1
  
  Not in theoretical physics. Just about everything we hold as fact goes out the window.
  
  --
  "Be particularly skeptical when presented with evidence confirming what you already believe." -
10. Re:Yes! by Capt.DrumkenBum · 2012-05-02 09:11 · Score: 1
  
  Dr. Evil: "You'll notice that the sharks have laser beams attached to their heads, I figure every creature deserves a hot meal"
  
  --
  If I were God, wouldn't I protect my churches from acts of me?
11. Re:Yes! by snowsmann · 2012-05-02 09:24 · Score: 1
  
  That is because "hi" is not a word (in this context)... It is certainly an exception to the rule "put a damn apostrophe on a word when you want to make it all possessive like". If it were not an exception then "his car", "snowsmanns car", and "its car" would all be correct. But "his" is another word entirely, "its" is a form of the word "it".
  
  --
  timeo Danaos, et dona ferentis
12. Re:Yes! by mhajicek · 2012-05-02 10:04 · Score: 1
  
  Actually, (int(2.5))+(int(2.5))=4.
13. Re:Yes! by antdude · 2012-05-02 10:56 · Score: 1
  
  Why do you have an apostrophe for "it is"? :P
  
  --
  Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
14. Re:Yes! by lister+king+of+smeg · 2012-05-02 11:41 · Score: 1
  
  or under a different base like base 4 where it equals 10
  
  --
  ---Saying gnome 3 is better than windows 8 not so much a compliment as it is damning with light praise.
15. Re:Yes! by mug+funky · 2012-05-02 13:05 · Score: 1
  
  yes! troll math!
  spoiler - it still equals 4. those ints aren't optional.
16. Re:Yes! by 93+Escort+Wagon · 2012-05-02 13:35 · Score: 1
  
  No oblig anything... a freaking shark with a freaking laser on it's head...
  Okay, fine but - does it have Hitler’s brain?
  
  --
  #DeleteChrome
17. Re:Yes! by psiclops · 2012-05-02 17:40 · Score: 1
  
  if you found that hard to read, your probably the won in need of communications lessons.
  
  --
  i spent five minutes thinking and all i got was this crappy sig
18. Re:Yes! by Feefers · 2012-05-02 19:01 · Score: 1
  
  2+2 = 11 ....In base 3 of course. Language must evolve over time, ye olde eventually changed and in time I look forward to the rules of grammar becoming more relaxed. As for the artickle, it's pretty clever sharks don't have many attachment points and making a laser that can not only be fitted to a shark but be waterproof and powered to not bother the creature to the extent its trainer says stop is pretty impressive.
19. Re:Yes! by thoughtlover · 2012-05-03 16:16 · Score: 1
  
  if you found that hard to read, your probably the won in need of communications lessons.
  And you're the one in need of spelling and grammar lessons.
  
  --
  No sig for you! Come back one year!
20. Re:Yes! by psiclops · 2012-05-05 06:33 · Score: 1
  
  nope but i feel for you mr whooshie
  
  --
  i spent five minutes thinking and all i got was this crappy sig
So...Bright.. by Anonymous Coward · 2012-05-02 07:31 · Score: 3, Informative

50 mW is enough laser power to blind you quite quickly...
1. Re:So...Bright.. by cheaphomemadeacid · 2012-05-02 07:39 · Score: 4, Informative
  
  hah, mod -1 boring, this baby can burn your eyes out with a reflection in a raindrop http://www.wickedlasers.com/lasers/Spyder_III_Pro_Arctic_Series-96-37.html 1W laser :D
2. Re:So...Bright.. by mhajicek · 2012-05-02 08:14 · Score: 1
  
  I got my goggles on, it's so bright.
3. Re:So...Bright.. by greg1104 · 2012-05-02 08:37 · Score: 1
  
  Won't save you, the goggles do nothing.
4. Re:So...Bright.. by dnahelicase · 2012-05-02 09:16 · Score: 1
  
  50 mW is enough laser power to blind you quite quickly...
  Yeah - and the shark holding it generally doesn't mind if the animals he's swimming toward suddenly go blind.
5. Re:So...Bright.. by mhajicek · 2012-05-02 09:35 · Score: 1
  
  They'd help with accidental reflections. Not the full beam in the face though of course.
6. Re:So...Bright.. by mhajicek · 2012-05-02 09:38 · Score: 1
  
  BTW, was just quoting the Suburbs:
  I got my goggles on
  And it's so bright
  I got my goggles on
  And it's so bright (so bright)
  I see in color
  Not black and white
  I see in color
  Not black and white
  I got my goggles on
  And it's so bright
  I got my goggles on
  And it's so bright (so bright)
  I took these little pills
  And I'm starting to come on now
  I took these little pills
  And I'm starting to get on now
  I got my goggles on
  And it's so bright
  I got my goggles on
  And it's so bright (so bright)
  I feel the water
  Swirling around my feet
  I feel like I could almost
  Astroprojectedly leave
7. Re:So...Bright.. by Chris+Burke · 2012-05-02 09:51 · Score: 1
  
  The laser's so bright, I gotta wear shades.
  
  --
  
  The enemies of Democracy are
8. Re:So...Bright.. by mhajicek · 2012-05-02 10:02 · Score: 1
  
  Curses! Memed again!
9. Re:So...Bright.. by Khyber · 2012-05-02 10:41 · Score: 2
  
  You can get laser goggles that will protect you from most of the exposure of higher-powered lasers. It is simply a combination of a highly-reflective surface plus a bandgap filter. You'd get a 530-580nm filter to work with green lasers and be safe.
  
  --
  Still waiting on Serviscope_minor to wake up to fucking reality and realize that Jessica Price isn't going to fuck him.
10. Re:So...Bright.. by Holi · 2012-05-02 16:02 · Score: 1
  
  Whooooosh
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juFZh92MUOY
  
  --
  Sorry, teleporters just kill you and then make a copy. A perfect, soul-less copy.
mr bond I expect you to be chum by Joe_Dragon · 2012-05-02 07:32 · Score: 3, Funny

mr bond I expect you to be chum
Sceptic by Etz+Haim · 2012-05-02 07:32 · Score: 5, Funny

Something tells me this shark thing is a lemon...
1. Re:Sceptic by Farmer+Tim · 2012-05-02 08:19 · Score: 1
  
  A red herring, more likely.
  
  --
  Blank until /. makes another boneheaded UI decision.
2. Re:Sceptic by Dexy · 2012-05-02 20:14 · Score: 1
  
  Something tells me you're not putting your heart and sole into this.
3. Re:Sceptic by tangelogee · 2012-05-03 05:30 · Score: 1
  
  Well, isn't that unforTUNAte?
Stupid by Dan+East · 2012-05-02 07:36 · Score: 5, Funny

That's the stupidest thing I've ever seen. There's no way a shark could aim a laser mounted like that. It needs it on its head so the shark can properly sight down the beam and destroy the commanded target.

--
Better known as 318230.
1. Re:Stupid by Farmer+Tim · 2012-05-02 08:09 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Focusing on consumers is also a dumb idea for a laser company. You get more repeat customers when they're not on fire.
  
  --
  Blank until /. makes another boneheaded UI decision.
The next frontier by GameboyRMH · 2012-05-02 07:36 · Score: 5, Funny

To place one on an ill-tempered mutant sea bass.

--
"When information is power, privacy is freedom" - Jah-Wren Ryel
1. Re:The next frontier by GameboyRMH · 2012-05-03 01:15 · Score: 1
  
  Who modded this troll? A Jewfish is a real thing:
  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jewfish
  
  --
  "When information is power, privacy is freedom" - Jah-Wren Ryel
2. Re:The next frontier by Coren22 · 2012-05-08 07:04 · Score: 1
  
  Most likely this specific grouper:
  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epinephelus_itajara
  
  --
  APK likes to ask for responses to the same things over and over. Maybe he just likes the responses?
World Domination by rwise2112 · 2012-05-02 07:37 · Score: 5, Funny

I like this quote: "...and there's actually useful applications in having a laser attached to the animal."

.... Like world domination

--

"For every expert, there is an equal and opposite expert"
1. Re:World Domination by Twinbee · 2012-05-02 07:48 · Score: 1
  
  To me yes, their message was meant to be read "between the lines". I don't think there was any need for you to point that out.
  
  --
  Why OpalCalc is the best Windows calc
2. Re:World Domination by amicusNYCL · 2012-05-02 08:10 · Score: 2
  
  I like this quote:
  
  But even serious hardcore shark experts like Van Sommeran can relish in the bold absurdity of a laser-equipped shark: “Everything tilts toward this being a disadvantage for the shark. Its laser might blind a pilot and piss off the FAA. Or North Korea might counter-attack it,” he said.
  
  --
  "Our two-party system is like a bowl of shit looking at itself in a mirror." - Lewis Black
3. Re:World Domination by The+Grim+Reefer · 2012-05-02 08:51 · Score: 2
  
  I like this quote: "...and there's actually useful applications in having a laser attached to the animal." .... Like world domination
  I was wondering the same thing, as well as who would have the need for a" useful application" like this. Besides some bald guy with a white Persian cat.
Jeez Luieez by Tablizer · 2012-05-02 07:39 · Score: 1

It's MAY 1st, not April 1st. (May 2nd actually)

--
Table-ized A.I.
Our undoing... by moondo · 2012-05-02 07:41 · Score: 2

And so it begins...
Slashdotted... by muyla · 2012-05-02 07:43 · Score: 1

... or maybe the shark just fired on a couple underwater fibers
1. Re:Slashdotted... by MRe_nl · 2012-05-02 08:06 · Score: 1
  
  Alternatively http://www.buzzfeed.com/donnad/sharks-mounted-with-laser-beams
  
  --
  "Kill 'em all and let Root sort 'em out"
Fin by Anonymous Coward · 2012-05-02 07:44 · Score: 2, Informative

The laser was attached to the dorsal fin, not the head. Seriously, how can you get this wrong?
"Not dangerous to anyone"? by Man+On+Pink+Corner · 2012-05-02 07:46 · Score: 1

A 50-milliwatt green laser would be a class-IIIb device, right?
1. Re:"Not dangerous to anyone"? by mpoulton · 2012-05-02 07:57 · Score: 1
  
  A 50-milliwatt green laser would be a class-IIIb device, right?
  Yeah, and it's well into the IIIb territory (which covers such a broad power range it's hardly a helpful classification). 50mW is sufficient to cause instant permanent retinal burns, or permanent blindness due to retinal bleeding. Even an extremely brief exposure to one eye could cause permanent damage, and will certainly cause temporary blindness and disorientation. I have never gotten a beam quite that powerful in my eye, but I have gotten a brief (few millisecond) flash from a 25mW DPSS laser and it was extremely unpleasant and took hours to recover. I love lasers and "play" with some very powerful ones. In fact, I may have indirectly supplied Wicked Lasers with thousands of multi-watt blue laser diodes a couple years ago. But I would NOT want to be diving in that crystal-clear water with a bitey shark indiscriminately waving a 50mW beam all over the place!
  
  --
  I am a geek attorney, but not your geek attorney unless you've already retained me. This is not legal advice.
2. Re:"Not dangerous to anyone"? by MarkGriz · 2012-05-02 07:58 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Add a warning:
  Caution: Use remaining eye to avoid being eaten by shark.
  
  --
  Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.
3. Re:"Not dangerous to anyone"? by byrdfl3w · 2012-05-02 17:06 · Score: 1
  
  Perhaps dangerous to the optics in other fish it encounters..
  Blind cod?
  Sightless snapper?
  Images of one-eyed marine life bumping together awkwardly.
Just 5mw is dangerous by Maximum+Prophet · 2012-05-02 07:53 · Score: 4, Informative

http://www.innovations-report.com/html/reports/medicine_health/report-44173.html

Dennis Robertson, M.D., Mayo Clinic ophthalmologist, conducted investigations with a green laser pointer directed to the retina of a patient’s eye; the eye was scheduled for removal because of a malignancy. The green laser damaged the pigment layer of the retina ...
This was a "street legal" 5mw laser pointer. A misplaced 50mw beam will cause damage to your eyes, probably in the form of microspots, because laser light is will focused by your eye's lens. Unfortunately the brain will fill in microspots in the retina until there are too many, or you get too old, then you have vision problems.

The moral: Beware friggin sharks carrying friggin lasers.

--
All ideas^H^H^H^H^Hprocesses in this post are Patent Pending. (as well as the process of patenting all postings)
1. Re:Just 5mw is dangerous by Anonymous Coward · 2012-05-02 08:00 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  From your link:
  
  Mayo Clinic ophthalmologists have found commercially available Class 3A green laser pointers can cause visible harm to the eye’s retina with exposures as short as 60 seconds
  
  If a shark is staring directly at you for 60 seconds, chances are that some minor eye damage is not really your primary concern.
2. Re:Just 5mw is dangerous by slack_justyb · 2012-05-02 08:38 · Score: 1
  
  I can't help but to ask. 5mw may harm you, but that's with the medium being air. Wouldn't that level change when the medium is water? In other words, wouldn't more of the laser light become diffused over a shorter distance as compared to the same laser but in air?
3. Re:Just 5mw is dangerous by Osgeld · 2012-05-02 11:22 · Score: 1
  
  "This was a "street legal" 5mw laser pointer. A misplaced 50mw beam will cause damage to your eyes"
  so it takes 10x as long to hurt yourself with a 5mw?
4. Re:Just 5mw is dangerous by Anonymous Coward · 2012-05-02 11:34 · Score: 1
  
  True. But the shark is more dangerous when the medium is water, so it evens out.
5. Re:Just 5mw is dangerous by MiG82au · 2012-05-02 13:33 · Score: 1
  
  Due to heat conduction away from the irradiated area, I doubt it's a linear relationship. At some low power you'd find no damage regardless of time, and at high power you'd probably find damage occurs much faster than predicted from the 5 mW test.
6. Re:Just 5mw is dangerous by daid303 · 2012-05-03 00:53 · Score: 1
  
  A 50mW laser is not class 3A. 5mW is class 3A
"there's actually useful applications" by circletimessquare · 2012-05-02 07:54 · Score: 1

world's coolest sushi maker?

--
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
Been done before by belthize · 2012-05-02 07:59 · Score: 1

Not new, our early extraterrestrial forebears bred Stethacanthus
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Stethacanthus_BW.jpg
to support both a forward looking radar mount at the front and a laser turret on their back.
One simple request by WarJolt · 2012-05-02 08:04 · Score: 1

Dr. Evil would be so happy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bh7bYNAHXxw
You mean I have frikin' sharks with frikin' laser beams attached to their heads?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pozlp_wnkRk
1. Re:One simple request by mrbester · 2012-05-02 09:35 · Score: 1
  
  I'm sure he is busy working on a new project
  
  --
  "Wait. Something's happening. It's opening up! My God, it's full of apricots!"
Fin / Head? by waterford0069 · 2012-05-02 08:11 · Score: 1

Fin / Head? Same difference, right.
meh by arbitrarymodulus · 2012-05-02 08:18 · Score: 1

Meh, a shark riding an elephant is still better.
This is neat. by multicoregeneral · 2012-05-02 08:24 · Score: 1

I'll have to remember to stock up on these when I build my secret fortress on Burma.

--
This signature intentionally left blank.
Scientfic reasons? by wbr1 · 2012-05-02 08:32 · Score: 1

...and there's actually useful applications in having a laser attached to the animal.
Publicity and fundraising perhaps. Anyone know real applications? I would RTFA, but I cannot get a response from the subscribe.wired.com server, I have a hard time believing that is slashdotted though.

--
Silence is a state of mime.
Faith in humanity restored! by Quiet_Desperation · 2012-05-02 08:34 · Score: 1

This is the bestest thing in the world all day today.
Mounting by WrecklessSandwich · 2012-05-02 08:34 · Score: 1

That laser is mounted on the dorsal fin. What part of "sharks with frickin laser beams attached to their heads" do these people not understand?
1. Re:Mounting by Coren22 · 2012-05-08 07:14 · Score: 1
  
  The difficulty in a removable mount on that part of the shark.
  
  --
  APK likes to ask for responses to the same things over and over. Maybe he just likes the responses?
is more the equivalent by ZombieBraintrust · 2012-05-02 08:35 · Score: 4, Insightful

"is more the equivalent " not sure what is wrong here but something sounds off
1. Re:is more the equivalent by tehcyder · 2012-05-02 23:17 · Score: 1
  
  It was an elided version of "is more like the equivalent of..." and perfectly comprehsisible.
  
  --
  To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
About fricking time! by BetaDays · 2012-05-02 08:35 · Score: 1

About fricking time!

--
Paul: Father... father, the sleeper has awakened! - Dune
Because everyone deserves a warm meal. by ClosedEyesSeeing · 2012-05-02 08:40 · Score: 1

Because everyone deserves a warm meal.
Now the meme can finally die. by Arancaytar · 2012-05-02 08:56 · Score: 1

Unless you want a Beowulf cluster of laser sharks.
1. Re:Now the meme can finally die. by Capt.DrumkenBum · 2012-05-02 09:17 · Score: 1
  
  Of course I want a Beowulf cluster of sharks with laser beams attached to their heads. Who wouldn't want that?
  
  --
  If I were God, wouldn't I protect my churches from acts of me?
2. Re:Now the meme can finally die. by avandesande · 2012-05-02 09:18 · Score: 1
  
  ... ridden by Natalie Portman in a pool of hot grits!
  
  --
  love is just extroverted narcissism
3. Re:Now the meme can finally die. by c0lo · 2012-05-02 09:23 · Score: 1
  
  Unless you want a Beowulf cluster of laser sharks.
  What about "the year of $name on the desktop"? Will $name='laser sharks' come earlier than $name='Linux'?
  (ducks)
  
  --
  Questions raise, answers kill. Raise questions to stay alive.
Re:Bear On Motorcycle by RalphTheWonderLlama · 2012-05-02 09:28 · Score: 1

Bearodactyl!
http://www.theoatmeal.com/comics/ptero

--
simple, fast homepage with your links: http://www.ngumbi.com/
Bright spot in all of this..... by rts008 · 2012-05-02 09:39 · Score: 1

Now there may be dire consequences to shark-jumping TV shows!
Meh, who am I kidding.....

--
Down With Slashdot BETA!!! I've been around the corner and seen the oliphant; you can only abuse me from your perspecti
I read it like this by fragfoo · 2012-05-02 10:24 · Score: 1

Tipple told Wired. 'Initially, I told them no. I thought it was a frivolous stunt. But then they offered more money...'

--
Sig? Heil
I Got This... by Greyfox · 2012-05-02 10:47 · Score: 1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfUM5xHUY4M

--
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
Head? by binarybum · 2012-05-02 14:07 · Score: 1

Can someone fill us in on shark anatomy? Does the head really go that far back?

--
ôó
Ultimate Extreme Cat Toy by guttentag · 2012-05-02 18:03 · Score: 1

Finally, a way to make your cat want to play with sharks. Cat chases the laser, shark chases the cat... It's a lot like rock, paper, scissors. Until someone loses a cat.
Errr by blackicye · 2012-05-02 18:24 · Score: 1

Is no one thinking of the childr^H^H^H^H^H^H Sharks??
Can you imagine.. by Sigg3.net · 2012-05-02 19:21 · Score: 1

Can you imagine a Beowulf cluster of these?!

--
Defining Statistics and Social Research
Or... by Antony-Kyre · 2012-05-03 02:36 · Score: 1

a laser with a shark attached.