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Google Patents Using iPhones To Kill 'Free Bird'
theodp writes "At Chicago's Billy Goat Tavern, construction workers found physical threats an effective way to discourage smart-ass Whitney Young High School students from playing annoying jukebox songs over and over again. But with Google's newly-patented technology for the Collaborative Rejection of Media for Physical Establishments, you no longer need to resort to violence to prevent Elton John Songs from being played on jukeboxes in bars. Its invention, boasts Google, 'enables customers of an establishment to collaboratively reject a media file that is currently playing and/or pending to be played within that establishment by entering data into a personal wireless portable computing device on their person, for example a cellular telephone.' But don't get your hopes up too high, kids. Much like Google's dual-tier stock plan, the patent calls for 'customer status levels including a premium status and a standard status,' so a premium customer will be able to veto attempts by lowly standard customers to kill his requests to play MC Hammer's 'Can't Touch This'. The patent comes from a quirky Outland Research IP portfolio acquired by Google; its inventor is Louis B. Rosenberg, a Stanford PhD and professional film maker."
I would be happy about the premium service, to keep you people from cancelling my music. But, then again, there is no way that any jukebox in any of *your* bars is going to have the kind of music on it that I'm into anyway. And no bar that would let you people in is going to serve the kind of food I eat, or the drinks that I'm into these days. I would tell you about it, but you wouldn't get it. You see, I don't even *own* a TV. And everything you like is just a ripoff of the *real* stuff that only a few people like me know about. Of course, you don't get it. But I wouldn't expect people like you to understand. You should probably stick with your radio music. Doubt you could handle the real stuff anyway.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm taking my custom painted iPad to a club that you haven't heard of, in a part of town that you've probably never been too, to listen to music you wouldn't understand, with people you would never meet. I would say goodbye, but no one says that anymore unless they're being ironic--or do they?
What political party do you join when you don't like Bible-thumpers *or* hippies?
But don't get your hopes up too high, kids. Much like Google's dual-tier stock plan, the patent calls for 'customer status levels including a premium status and a standard status,' so a premium customer will be able to veto attempts by lowly standard customers to kill his requests to play MC Hammer's 'Can't Touch This'.
I think there's some confusion here. I read that part of the patent as saying that if you, the owner of this jukebox system, have a patron at your place of playing music that is a regular then you can get his/her ID and promote them above random walk-ins. I used to bartend for two years in college. There was this lonely guy that came in everyday of the week. My first day there, the owner pointed at him and said, "This is Joe, you help Joe before any other customers, you charge Joe $1.25 for each of his beers no matter what size or kind, tap or bottle." Apparently for 30 some years that guy came in, drank five beers through the course of the entire evening and left. People like that, I think you'd let them have your way with your jukebox and maybe you, the owner would be above everyone else in case things got out of hand. Maybe google thinks bars will run promotions where the first birthday person in the door with a large party gets veto control over the jukebox? Who knows?
At Chicago's Billy Goat Tavern, construction workers found physical threats an effective way to discourage smart-ass Whitney Young High School students from playing annoying jukebox songs over and over again.
What the hell? Somebody want to fill me in? I just spent ten minutes googling for some news item about this and came up empty handed ...
My work here is dung.
Music is by far the most boring application of this "media banishment system", especially at an exercise club or waiting room.
I would love to see this applied to TV News and the financial news shills and the weather channel. Oh god not another "it bleeds it leads" hit skip. Not another kitten in tree saved by firefighters. The commentator on CNBC right now is a real estate shill .... flushing sound .... Onsight live broadcast breathlessly reporting "its raining" zapped.
The main problem is there's a million recorded songs out there, the bar flies cannot possibly block them all even if they were sober and cooperated. But unleash this on the financial news channels and a small team could literally wipe the slate clean of all stories leaving a blank screen or test pattern. Its very likely that if you zap all the video news releases, and network entertainment news self promotions, and celebrity news, and pointless human interest stories, there is nothing left in a typical newscast.
"Science flies us to the moon. Religion flies us into buildings." - Victor Stenger
...that allows certain people, let's call them "moderators," to assign -1 or +1 rating points to the song. If the song falls below the bar's threshold, then it doesn't play. The selector of the song also accumulates these points from the moderators; we can call this "karma." Bad or good karma gives their future song selections a lower or higher initial rating, respectively. I'm so novel and smart! Time for me to file for my patent, beyotches!
Sigh, another page hit title.
Google holds a patent to use a __________ branded mobile phone to squash jukebox songs. Last I knew, Google is well known for a certain mobile phone OS.
But no, the title went for "iPhone".
So who paid for that headline?
Folks, THAT is the new business model - "pay for custom slanted news!"
My first Journal Entry ever, in 8 years! http://slashdot.org/journal/365947/aphelion-scifi-fantasy-horror-poetry-webzine