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Google Patents Using iPhones To Kill 'Free Bird'
theodp writes "At Chicago's Billy Goat Tavern, construction workers found physical threats an effective way to discourage smart-ass Whitney Young High School students from playing annoying jukebox songs over and over again. But with Google's newly-patented technology for the Collaborative Rejection of Media for Physical Establishments, you no longer need to resort to violence to prevent Elton John Songs from being played on jukeboxes in bars. Its invention, boasts Google, 'enables customers of an establishment to collaboratively reject a media file that is currently playing and/or pending to be played within that establishment by entering data into a personal wireless portable computing device on their person, for example a cellular telephone.' But don't get your hopes up too high, kids. Much like Google's dual-tier stock plan, the patent calls for 'customer status levels including a premium status and a standard status,' so a premium customer will be able to veto attempts by lowly standard customers to kill his requests to play MC Hammer's 'Can't Touch This'. The patent comes from a quirky Outland Research IP portfolio acquired by Google; its inventor is Louis B. Rosenberg, a Stanford PhD and professional film maker."
I would be happy about the premium service, to keep you people from cancelling my music. But, then again, there is no way that any jukebox in any of *your* bars is going to have the kind of music on it that I'm into anyway. And no bar that would let you people in is going to serve the kind of food I eat, or the drinks that I'm into these days. I would tell you about it, but you wouldn't get it. You see, I don't even *own* a TV. And everything you like is just a ripoff of the *real* stuff that only a few people like me know about. Of course, you don't get it. But I wouldn't expect people like you to understand. You should probably stick with your radio music. Doubt you could handle the real stuff anyway.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm taking my custom painted iPad to a club that you haven't heard of, in a part of town that you've probably never been too, to listen to music you wouldn't understand, with people you would never meet. I would say goodbye, but no one says that anymore unless they're being ironic--or do they?
What political party do you join when you don't like Bible-thumpers *or* hippies?