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Larry Ellison Buys His Own Hawaiian Island

Posted by samzenpus on from the volcano-base dept.

First time accepted submitter nrozema writes "Oracle co-founder and billionaire Larry Ellison is buying the Hawaiian island of Lana'i, the sixth-largest island in the U.S. archipelago. Hawaii Gov. Neil Abercrombie confirmed in a written statement that the current landowner filed a transfer application with the state's Public Utilities commission Wednesday to sell its 98 percent share of the 141-square-mile island to Ellison."

17 of 398 comments (clear)

  1. Never thought.... by Bloody+Bastard · · Score: 5, Funny

    ....tsunamis could be a good thing.

    1. Re:Never thought.... by dintech · · Score: 5, Funny

      98 percent share

      It's a shame the Google Trial didn't pay out. He could have bought the last 2%...

    2. Re:Never thought.... by Rogerborg · · Score: 4, Funny

      Not "people",subjects. Probably experimental subjects; fetch the frikkin' lasers.

      --
      If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
    3. Re:Never thought.... by tnk1 · · Score: 5, Funny

      Bond: Do you expect me to talk, Ellison?

      Ellison: Hahahaha! No Mr. Bond, I expect you to *buy*.

  2. Uh-oh. by RevWaldo · · Score: 5, Funny

    Larry Ellison also owns a MIG fighter jet. This cannot be good.

    .

    --
    Prisencolinensinainciusol. Ol Rait!
    1. Re:Uh-oh. by stevencbrown · · Score: 5, Funny

      And he looks like Hank Scorpio!

      All we need is oracle to open up a germ warfare division, though think he'll have to settle for the western seaboard rather than the eastern, if he's based in Hawaii?

    2. Re:Uh-oh. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Does he own a fluffy white cat and a Nehru jacket?

  3. he's like Dr. No by circletimessquare · · Score: 5, Funny

    With these billionaires also starting their own private space programs too, all we need is a suave british agent and a hot local chick going to raid the compound threatening megalomaniacal schemes

    "do you expect me to talk?"

    "no mr. bond, I expect no SQL to this movie, I expect you to join that table with this collate, and then drop"

    --
    intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
  4. Re:Units by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    the 141-square-mile island

    I can't comprehend that size. Could we have the area in asteroid passing distances? Earth radiuses works too.

    I beleive that the scientific unit for area is football field.

  5. What a flake Ellison is by arcite · · Score: 2, Funny

    Buying a bare, windswept, island that has long ago been converted into a Pineapple plantation? The place is probably invested with rats. ...or soaked in pesticides. Seems like a waste of money to me. There isn't even a sandy beach.

    1. Re:What a flake Ellison is by h4rr4r · · Score: 4, Funny

      I think Ellison is used to investing with rats, just his kind of folks.

      That was mean, rats are actually no where near as bad as this asshole.

    2. Re:What a flake Ellison is by datavirtue · · Score: 1, Funny

      I know, I kept them as pets for years. I had to stop since I needed to get laid.

      There, fixed that for ya.

      --
      I object to power without constructive purpose. --Spock
  6. Next year: Oracle secedes by AbominousSalad · · Score: 5, Funny

    Next year's follow-up story - Oracle secedes, and couches itself as fully as possible in its total reality distortion field.

    Then it sues Greece for having had oracles 2000 years ago.

    --
    Every trollism an AC posts is prefixed, in my mind, with "A. Coward whined, in a weak and cowardly voice:"
  7. My fellow Hawaiians! by bitt3n · · Score: 3, Funny

    "Good news! I have just sold one of our islands for half the proceeds from Oracle's upcoming multi-billion-dollar lawsuit against Google! Even if they get only half what they're asking, we will make a killing. I promise a hula hoop around every midriff!"

    --
    how many pairs of boxer shorts should you own?
  8. Re:so what? by mjr167 · · Score: 5, Funny

    So... shooting trespassers is ok if we eat them afterwards?

  9. He's going to plant coffee by rs79 · · Score: 5, Funny

    So he can finally make money off Java.

    --
    Need Mercedes parts ?
  10. Re:Real plan by Dcnjoe60 · · Score: 4, Funny

    If all of the landowners in an area vote to secede, they can secede.

    Then again there was that whole Civil War thing, which suggests that not everyone agrees about that principle.

    Now wait. Everybody knows the US Civil War had to do with vampires. There's even a new documentary coming out in theaters about it.