Modest Proposal For Stopping Hackers: Get Them Girlfriends

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

Modest Proposal For Stopping Hackers: Get Them Girlfriends

Posted by timothy on Tuesday July 17, 2012 @05:13AM from the so-basically-you're-saying-a-lobotomy dept.

kierny writes "Hackers/crackers who get arrested are typically male and young adults — if not minors. Why is that? According to research by online psychology expert Grainne Kirwan, it's because the typical hacker 'ages out' once they get a girlfriend, job, kids, and other responsibilities that make it difficult to maintain their hacking/cracking/hacktivist lifecycle. Could that finding offer a way to help keep more young hacking enthusiasts out of jail?"

18 of 566 comments (clear)

Min score:

Reason:

Sort:

obligatory reference by leaen · 2012-07-17 05:14 · Score: 3, Funny

I dated a robot
1. Re:obligatory reference by Anonymous Coward · 2012-07-17 06:48 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Dear Sony;
  
  You have put out almost nothing but shitty, proprietary crap for over a decade now. Your music CDs install rootkits on computers. You remove advertised features from the PS3. You sue people who have committed no crime just to shut them up. In response, you've been under relentless assault from hackers.
  
  This will continue until you change your ways, or you get us girlfriends. Either way, we're cool.
  
  -Anonymous
2. Re:obligatory reference by Evil+Pete · 2012-07-17 12:14 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  You still trust the quality of girlfriend(s) that Sony might get for you?
  You'll be hoping for a root kit but you'll just get viruses.
  
  --
  Bitter and proud of it.
The Girlfriend(tm) by happy_place · 2012-07-17 05:15 · Score: 4, Funny

The Girlfriend(tm) could solve a lot of problems young adolescent males have... someone should patent that...

--
http://www.beanleafpress.com
Agreed by slazzy · 2012-07-17 05:15 · Score: 5, Funny

Probably the most effective idea yet. A girlfriend is a lot more fun than a computer, at that age anyway.

--
Website Just Down For Me? Find out
1. Re:Agreed by sycodon · 2012-07-17 05:33 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  For a teenager, a couple of minutes is stretching it a bit.
  
  --
  When Fascism comes to America, it will call itself Anti-Fascism, and tell you to give up your guns.
2. Re:Agreed by ifiwereasculptor · 2012-07-17 05:42 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  Run a cutting edge distro of Linux and do a blind apt-get upgrade or similar every 28 days and they're about the same.
3. Re:Agreed by shutdown+-p+now · 2012-07-17 06:27 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  A girlfriend is a lot more fun than a computer, at that age anyway.
  Not really. You can only hack a girlfriend once, and even then there are some associated difficulties (as Hans Reiser has found out).
Re:Wow by NerdmastaX · 2012-07-17 05:16 · Score: 5, Funny

agreed.. if this continues i might as well go back to cnn.
Re:Same with terrorists... by SJHillman · 2012-07-17 05:23 · Score: 4, Funny

Of course they were married. Why do you think they volunteered?
Or legalize prostitution by Quiet_Desperation · 2012-07-17 05:24 · Score: 4, Funny

That's my takeaway from this.
Then again that's my takeaway from most discussions.
Excuse me by sa1lnr · 2012-07-17 05:25 · Score: 3, Funny

A modest proposal?
Re:Wow by Anonymous Coward · 2012-07-17 05:31 · Score: 5, Funny

So you went back to your mom?
Re:Wow by Reverand+Dave · 2012-07-17 05:33 · Score: 5, Funny

No, he went back to your mom.

--
I got here through a series of tubes
Novel approach! by bobetov · 2012-07-17 05:40 · Score: 3, Funny

I just wanted to congratulate TFA's authors for this incredibly novel approach to finding a girlfriend - drafting all of society into a plan to find them dates. Ingenious!
A bit desperate perhaps, but still... genius!

--
Looking for a Rails developer in Chapel Hill?
Yeah but... by AlphaWolf_HK · 2012-07-17 05:50 · Score: 3, Funny

We've already seen how this ends up:
http://i.imgur.com/q0ycr.png

--
Careful with names containing L slashdot.org/~AiphaWolf_HK slashdot.org/~AlphaWoif_HK slashdot.org/~AiphaWoif_HK
Re:Wow by MachineShedFred · 2012-07-17 05:51 · Score: 3, Funny

Raspberry Pi used to mine BitCoins to fight AGW
That's the next article I'm looking for.

--
Slashdot still doesnâ(TM)t support Unicode after it was added to the HTML standard in 1997.
Re:Wow by ciderbrew · 2012-07-17 06:00 · Score: 3, Funny

Tea, meet monitor, monitor meet tea. :)