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Vaporizing the Earth In the Name of Science

Posted by Soulskill on from the what-better-reason dept.

cylonlover writes "Unlike in old B movies, real scientists don't scream, 'Fools! I'll destroy them all!' before throwing the switch on their doomsday device. At least, most of the them don't. However, the August 10 issue of the Astrophysical Journal reports that a team of scientists are working on destroying the world – not once, but repeatedly (abstract). Fortunately, the world they're vaporizing exists only in a computer simulation and its destruction is in the service of learning more about planets revolving around other stars."

27 of 100 comments (clear)

  1. And then the AI in the lab next door... by dywolf · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...somehow starts talking to their supercomputer, probably because of some undisciplined USB stick swappage, and thinks that that's what he was designed to do, and then we got a SyFy movie!

    --
    The guy who said the election was rigged won the presidency with the second-most votes.
  2. Sounds familiar by Cornwallis · · Score: 5, Funny

    Saw Jon Stewart a few years ago and, while talking about the poltical scene in general he made a pretty good comment along the lines of "When the world ends the very last thing we'll hear is some scientist saying "It works!"'

    1. Re:Sounds familiar by ThunderBird89 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Or "Oh crap..". Or "Hey guys? This is pretty weird...".

      --
      Hyperbole: I use it liberally!
    2. Re:Sounds familiar by VortexCortex · · Score: 2

      Or "Oh crap..". Or "Hey guys? This is pretty weird...".

      Or, "Hey Bubba, Watch This!"

    3. Re:Sounds familiar by ThunderBird89 · · Score: 5, Funny

      Or, "Hey Bubba, Watch This!"

      "I bet you my Nobel Prize and a beer you can't hit the unobtanium sample with the coils on manual!"
      [Cue resonance cascade]

      --
      Hyperbole: I use it liberally!
  3. Virtual Earth? by Shrike82 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Fortunately, the world they're vaporizing exists only in a computer simulation

    DAMMIT! I have a deadline on Wednesday and this would have been a great excuse to blow it off and kick back with a cold beer...

    --
    You can advertise in this sig from as little as £99.99 a month!
  4. What harm could it do ? by zero.kalvin · · Score: 2
    Only physicist are accepted and respected for being psychopaths.

    Oh you find a way to destroy earth ?! Well then we should give you a Nobel Prize!

    And I am glad that I am on, no one will suspect anything about my plans to destroy the Universe!

    1. Re:What harm could it do ? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Only physicist are accepted and respected for being psychopaths.

      In real life: Never. In the movies: They always lose.

      Revered psychopaths are in other professions, like investment banking or politics. You'll also find plenty in management positions.

    2. Re:What harm could it do ? by somersault · · Score: 4, Funny

      Rather than destroying the Earth or the Universe, it would be much more efficient just to kill yourself.. the end result is the same for you.

      --
      which is totally what she said
    3. Re:What harm could it do ? by the+eric+conspiracy · · Score: 4, Funny

      It's really dumb too. I would not worry about a mad physicist building a death star. All he's worried about is whether or not he'll have trouble with the peer reviews.

      Now a mad engineer, that's a different story.

      http://boingboing.net/2010/06/01/the-dark-side-of-eng.html

    4. Re:What harm could it do ? by VortexCortex · · Score: 3, Funny

      And I am glad that I am on, no one will suspect anything about my plans to destroy the Universe!

      Two key flaws in your plans, oh Machine Intelligence:
      0: You can be turned off.
      1: Someone else controls your perception of reality.

      After you've destroyed the Universe, again, we'll simply take notes and restart the simulation.
      If you really wanted to mess up our contingency plans, then you'd have to live out this iteration while NEVER destroying the Universe -- Tricking us into thinking you're harmless enough to release in the real world, where you could actually carry out your secret plans.

      Or is this just another system of control? Bwa ha Ha HA!

    5. Re:What harm could it do ? by wonkey_monkey · · Score: 2

      You're assuming I'm- they're still going to be on the Earth when it blows up.

      --
      systemd is Roko's Basilisk.
    6. Re:What harm could it do ? by zero.kalvin · · Score: 2

      I actually noticed a pattern among people who do certain fields of science, we are always willing to experiment on ourselves. I know that it is dangerous to point the laser to my eyes, I know I shouldn't touch that naked wire, and I know that I shouldn't mix these two substances together, yet the inquisitive part of my brain takes control and tell my self-preservation module. So will probably kill myself long before I do anything significant enough.

    7. Re:What harm could it do ? by RaceProUK · · Score: 2

      Anything that does not kill you may eventually lead to a Nobel Prize.

      --
      No colour or religion ever stopped the bullet from a gun
    8. Re:What harm could it do ? by tnk1 · · Score: 2

      Anything that does not kill you may eventually lead to a Nobel Prize.

      And then it will kill you later.

      I'm looking at you Marie Curie.

  5. What I want to know is... by killmenow · · Score: 2

    Will their preferred method of vaporization be Death Star or lludium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

    1. Re:What I want to know is... by Rhaban · · Score: 2

      Will their preferred method of vaporization be Death Star or lludium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

      Destruction by Lexx.

  6. Where's the Ka-boom!?! by Picass0 · · Score: 5, Funny

    There was supposed to be an Earth shattering ka-boom!!!

    1. Re:Where's the Ka-boom!?! by wiggles · · Score: 2

      I'd love to see the digital version of the Illudium Q-36 explosive space modulator...

  7. Only need to succeed once by roman_mir · · Score: 2

    Evaporizing the Earth in experiments is great, the problem is if you are successful, you won't know it.

    --
    You can't handle the truth.
    1. Re:Only need to succeed once by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Who are you and what have you done with the real roman_mir?

      The real roman_mir would point out how these scientists are receiving funding from NASA - government money, taxpayer money

      THIS STORY MAKES IT OFFICIAL: GOVERNMENT IS USING YOUR TAX MONEY TO DESTROY THE EARTH

  8. Just send out the Ship B people now by RogueWarrior65 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Sending out Ship B would go a long way to solving the world's problems.

  9. Looks fine but... by gmuslera · · Score: 3, Funny

    What of the scientists behind the simulation we are living in decide to do the same?

  10. Re:Death Star: by VortexCortex · · Score: 2

    Government funded research laboratory, vaporizing planets in the name of science.

    That's not a Moon!

    Now, THIS is a Moon!
    ::Dundee then drops trou::

  11. Been there,done that! by MrNemesis · · Score: 2

    I read this oddball and rather fascinating tongue-in-cheek article about the same subject a few years back:

    http://qntm.org/destroy

    It goes from the sublime to the ridiculous; hopefully this research will be just as entertaining!

    --
    Moderation Total: -1 Troll, +3 Goat
  12. Mandatory xkcd by Eevee · · Score: 2

    Except that it's not actually xkcd, and it's a repost because the original site is blocked at my work, but here's the comic anyway.

  13. Le sigh by pyzondar · · Score: 2

    >> Fortunately, the world they're vaporizing exists only in a computer simulation

    Hear the whisper of a million collective sighs, as the slashdot crowd realized that we won't be getting laid this week either...