Slashdot Mirror

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

Vaporizing the Earth In the Name of Science

Posted by Soulskill on from the what-better-reason dept.

cylonlover writes "Unlike in old B movies, real scientists don't scream, 'Fools! I'll destroy them all!' before throwing the switch on their doomsday device. At least, most of the them don't. However, the August 10 issue of the Astrophysical Journal reports that a team of scientists are working on destroying the world – not once, but repeatedly (abstract). Fortunately, the world they're vaporizing exists only in a computer simulation and its destruction is in the service of learning more about planets revolving around other stars."

77 of 100 comments (clear)

  1. And then the AI in the lab next door... by dywolf · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...somehow starts talking to their supercomputer, probably because of some undisciplined USB stick swappage, and thinks that that's what he was designed to do, and then we got a SyFy movie!

    --
    The guy who said the election was rigged won the presidency with the second-most votes.
    1. Re:And then the AI in the lab next door... by JoshuaZ · · Score: 1

      Sorry, that would be a marginally interesting premise and doesn't immediately call for really bad CGI of a giant monster. So it isn't allowed to be on SyFy.

    2. Re:And then the AI in the lab next door... by jamstar7 · · Score: 1

      Add in a terrorrorrorrist subplot, a hot blonde PhD who drips when she sees the studly military man assigned to the lab, and you got an idea. Write up a treatment on this & let's pitch it to SyFy, should be able to get a 5 mil budget outta this...

      --
      Understanding the scope of the problem is the first step on the path to true panic.
    3. Re:And then the AI in the lab next door... by interkin3tic · · Score: 1

      Syfy you say? Where would the "ghost hunters" or pro-wrestlers fit into that plot?

    4. Re:And then the AI in the lab next door... by jellomizer · · Score: 1

      I get more of an impression that they found a creative way to fund their Sim City playing.

      --
      If something is so important that you feel the need to post it on the internet... It probably isn't that important.
  2. Sounds familiar by Cornwallis · · Score: 5, Funny

    Saw Jon Stewart a few years ago and, while talking about the poltical scene in general he made a pretty good comment along the lines of "When the world ends the very last thing we'll hear is some scientist saying "It works!"'

    1. Re:Sounds familiar by ThunderBird89 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Or "Oh crap..". Or "Hey guys? This is pretty weird...".

      --
      Hyperbole: I use it liberally!
    2. Re:Sounds familiar by VortexCortex · · Score: 2

      Or "Oh crap..". Or "Hey guys? This is pretty weird...".

      Or, "Hey Bubba, Watch This!"

    3. Re:Sounds familiar by ThunderBird89 · · Score: 5, Funny

      Or, "Hey Bubba, Watch This!"

      "I bet you my Nobel Prize and a beer you can't hit the unobtanium sample with the coils on manual!"
      [Cue resonance cascade]

      --
      Hyperbole: I use it liberally!
    4. Re:Sounds familiar by japhmi · · Score: 1

      "When the world ends the very last thing we'll hear is some scientist saying "It works!"'

      Better than listening to Vogon poetry as it all ends.

      --
      "Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys" P. J. O'Rourke
    5. Re:Sounds familiar by RaceProUK · · Score: 1

      How about 'There's no chance of a resonance cascade'?

      --
      No colour or religion ever stopped the bullet from a gun
    6. Re:Sounds familiar by Beardo+the+Bearded · · Score: 1

      Apparently those were Oppenheimer's actual first words after the atomic bomb tests.

      --

      ---
      ECHELON is a government program to find words like bomb, jihad, plutonium, assassinate, and anarchy.
    7. Re:Sounds familiar by ThunderBird89 · · Score: 1

      Wasn't it the Bhagavad Gíta (?) quote "I am become Death, destroyer of worlds"?

      --
      Hyperbole: I use it liberally!
    8. Re:Sounds familiar by Obfuscant · · Score: 1

      Or, "Hey Bubba, Watch This!"

      Flying with someone in their small aircraft and they say "here, hold my beer while I show you this cool maneuver..."

    9. Re:Sounds familiar by jellomizer · · Score: 1

      I thought Jon Stewart was a Green Lantern?

      --
      If something is so important that you feel the need to post it on the internet... It probably isn't that important.
  3. Virtual Earth? by Shrike82 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Fortunately, the world they're vaporizing exists only in a computer simulation

    DAMMIT! I have a deadline on Wednesday and this would have been a great excuse to blow it off and kick back with a cold beer...

    --
    You can advertise in this sig from as little as £99.99 a month!
    1. Re:Virtual Earth? by jamstar7 · · Score: 1

      And somewhere, watching over a network, Skynet would start learning bad habits.

      Great. Just great. An AI addicted to Jersey Shore. Just what we need.

      --
      Understanding the scope of the problem is the first step on the path to true panic.
  4. What harm could it do ? by zero.kalvin · · Score: 2
    Only physicist are accepted and respected for being psychopaths.

    Oh you find a way to destroy earth ?! Well then we should give you a Nobel Prize!

    And I am glad that I am on, no one will suspect anything about my plans to destroy the Universe!

    1. Re:What harm could it do ? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Only physicist are accepted and respected for being psychopaths.

      In real life: Never. In the movies: They always lose.

      Revered psychopaths are in other professions, like investment banking or politics. You'll also find plenty in management positions.

    2. Re:What harm could it do ? by somersault · · Score: 4, Funny

      Rather than destroying the Earth or the Universe, it would be much more efficient just to kill yourself.. the end result is the same for you.

      --
      which is totally what she said
    3. Re:What harm could it do ? by the+eric+conspiracy · · Score: 4, Funny

      It's really dumb too. I would not worry about a mad physicist building a death star. All he's worried about is whether or not he'll have trouble with the peer reviews.

      Now a mad engineer, that's a different story.

      http://boingboing.net/2010/06/01/the-dark-side-of-eng.html

    4. Re:What harm could it do ? by VortexCortex · · Score: 3, Funny

      And I am glad that I am on, no one will suspect anything about my plans to destroy the Universe!

      Two key flaws in your plans, oh Machine Intelligence:
      0: You can be turned off.
      1: Someone else controls your perception of reality.

      After you've destroyed the Universe, again, we'll simply take notes and restart the simulation.
      If you really wanted to mess up our contingency plans, then you'd have to live out this iteration while NEVER destroying the Universe -- Tricking us into thinking you're harmless enough to release in the real world, where you could actually carry out your secret plans.

      Or is this just another system of control? Bwa ha Ha HA!

    5. Re:What harm could it do ? by wonkey_monkey · · Score: 2

      You're assuming I'm- they're still going to be on the Earth when it blows up.

      --
      systemd is Roko's Basilisk.
    6. Re:What harm could it do ? by zero.kalvin · · Score: 2

      I actually noticed a pattern among people who do certain fields of science, we are always willing to experiment on ourselves. I know that it is dangerous to point the laser to my eyes, I know I shouldn't touch that naked wire, and I know that I shouldn't mix these two substances together, yet the inquisitive part of my brain takes control and tell my self-preservation module. So will probably kill myself long before I do anything significant enough.

    7. Re:What harm could it do ? by somersault · · Score: 1

      Subject VortexCortex has proven to be too devious. Advise termination and restarting simulation with inverted personality profile.

      --
      which is totally what she said
    8. Re:What harm could it do ? by ThunderBird89 · · Score: 1

      How does one break out of a chroot prison, exactly?

      --
      Hyperbole: I use it liberally!
    9. Re:What harm could it do ? by RaceProUK · · Score: 2

      Anything that does not kill you may eventually lead to a Nobel Prize.

      --
      No colour or religion ever stopped the bullet from a gun
    10. Re:What harm could it do ? by RaceProUK · · Score: 1

      I would not worry about a mad physicist building a death star.

      Unless he shields all the exhaust shafts.

      --
      No colour or religion ever stopped the bullet from a gun
    11. Re:What harm could it do ? by tnk1 · · Score: 2

      Anything that does not kill you may eventually lead to a Nobel Prize.

      And then it will kill you later.

      I'm looking at you Marie Curie.

    12. Re:What harm could it do ? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      Looking right back at you

    13. Re:What harm could it do ? by Hotawa+Hawk-eye · · Score: 1

      Anything that does not kill you may eventually lead to a Nobel Prize.

      Some things that do kill you could lead to a Darwin Award.

    14. Re:What harm could it do ? by joocemann · · Score: 1

      On your point.... do you believe there are questions we shouldn't ask? To me, vaporizing the earth from a how-to perspective seems taboo.... that the gains from the answer may not be worth the risk of making publicly available answers that others could utilize....

      The flaw in this research, in my opinion, is that the ambitions and ego of the researchers are more powerful than the obvious cautions/repercussions. And while we would like to answer every question about the universe, might we consider the current irrational/feudal state of mankind at present and intelligently delay certain foci until mankind is prepared to healthily understand the answers??

    15. Re:What harm could it do ? by sabt-pestnu · · Score: 1

      > How does one break out of a chroot prison, exactly?

      SSH tunneling to a remote server? Just be sure to dispose of the extra bits in /dev/null a few at a time so the warden doesn't notice.

    16. Re:What harm could it do ? by zero.kalvin · · Score: 1
      I don't believe science in its purist form can have any taboo. To be honest, vaporizing Earth for me is more of engineering question. But "How to change the trajectory of earth sized planet" is a scientific question for me. I think the way I see it, is that science is neutral, and anything beyond that is just humans tinkering with it. Quoting Prof Farnsworth:

      Amy, technology isn't intrinsically good or evil it's how it's used. Like the death ray.

    17. Re:What harm could it do ? by joocemann · · Score: 1

      Scientists don't usually endanger themselves and others if/when they design research and experiments. I do iPS Cell research and I wouldn't do anything I could concieve might hurt me or others. Most dangerous elements in my work can be accounted for, we glove/suit up to protect from virii and other materials. But in the case we are talking about, the dangerous byproduct is the alternate utility of the knowledge .... you could say that we might be safe by limiting access to the materals that this hypothetical knowledge requires.... but look at nuclear weapons! Not only is there lots of unaccounted materials, even the weapons have gone missing (a lot).

      A gun is dangerous in the hands of a child. In context, the gun becomes an inevitable threat for the child is ignorant and curious. Your reference to the neutrality of materials sounds nice, but escapes reality. We should not let our pride assume we 7 billion real humans are ready for some answers yet.

    18. Re:What harm could it do ? by Daetrin · · Score: 1

      "He's not even a mad scientist. He is merely a very upset engineer." - Miles, via Lois McMaster Bujold in "Komarr"

      --
      This Space Intentionally Left Blank
  5. What I want to know is... by killmenow · · Score: 2

    Will their preferred method of vaporization be Death Star or lludium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

    1. Re:What I want to know is... by Rhaban · · Score: 2

      Will their preferred method of vaporization be Death Star or lludium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

      Destruction by Lexx.

    2. Re:What I want to know is... by jkflying · · Score: 1

      Molecular Disruption Device, AKA the Dr. Device.

      --
      Help I am stuck in a signature factory!
    3. Re:What I want to know is... by VortexCortex · · Score: 1

      Will their preferred method of vaporization be Death Star or lludium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

      Destruction by Lexx.

      Syntax error! Nooooooo!

      (oh, wrong Lex? Well... Anything's better than death by BISON.)

      ....no, this BISON.

    4. Re:What I want to know is... by sconeu · · Score: 1

      Will their preferred method of vaporization be Death Star or lludium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

      Destruction by Lexx

      Giant Space Goat.

      --
      General Relativity: Space-time tells matter where to go; Matter tells space-time what shape to be.
  6. Where's the Ka-boom!?! by Picass0 · · Score: 5, Funny

    There was supposed to be an Earth shattering ka-boom!!!

    1. Re:Where's the Ka-boom!?! by wiggles · · Score: 2

      I'd love to see the digital version of the Illudium Q-36 explosive space modulator...

    2. Re:Where's the Ka-boom!?! by wonkey_monkey · · Score: 1

      Then you'll need an Illudium Q-36 explosive space demodulator.

      --
      systemd is Roko's Basilisk.
    3. Re:Where's the Ka-boom!?! by wonkey_monkey · · Score: 1

      Pre-emptive *whoosh* :$

      --
      systemd is Roko's Basilisk.
  7. Only need to succeed once by roman_mir · · Score: 2

    Evaporizing the Earth in experiments is great, the problem is if you are successful, you won't know it.

    --
    You can't handle the truth.
    1. Re:Only need to succeed once by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Who are you and what have you done with the real roman_mir?

      The real roman_mir would point out how these scientists are receiving funding from NASA - government money, taxpayer money

      THIS STORY MAKES IT OFFICIAL: GOVERNMENT IS USING YOUR TAX MONEY TO DESTROY THE EARTH

  8. Death Star: by virgnarus · · Score: 1

    Government funded research laboratory, vaporizing planets in the name of science.

    1. Re:Death Star: by Jawnn · · Score: 1

      Yeah, 'cause them college boys and their pure research are always just a waste of money. Nothing worthwhile ever came out of the quest for knowledge and understanding. Right?

    2. Re:Death Star: by VortexCortex · · Score: 2

      Government funded research laboratory, vaporizing planets in the name of science.

      That's not a Moon!

      Now, THIS is a Moon!
      ::Dundee then drops trou::

  9. Just send out the Ship B people now by RogueWarrior65 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Sending out Ship B would go a long way to solving the world's problems.

    1. Re:Just send out the Ship B people now by jamstar7 · · Score: 1

      ... and then catching something from an unsanitary phone will fix the rest.

      --
      Understanding the scope of the problem is the first step on the path to true panic.
    2. Re:Just send out the Ship B people now by damien_kane · · Score: 1

      ... and then catching something from an unsanitary phone will fix the rest.

      Wouldn't be necessary;
      With Ship B's crew no longer around to gum up the works, we could finally switch over to a mass telepathic link on a global scale, there'd be no need to touch a phone again.

  10. A new category for DoomsdayPie? by dahl_ag · · Score: 1

    Looks like I need a new category for DoomsdayPie.com.

    --
    www.DIYTVAntennas.com
  11. Looks fine but... by gmuslera · · Score: 3, Funny

    What of the scientists behind the simulation we are living in decide to do the same?

    1. Re:Looks fine but... by DocSavage64109 · · Score: 1

      I was wondering how these scientists can sleep at night after killing off all the matrix people living in their simulations.

    2. Re:Looks fine but... by jovius · · Score: 1

      After the cross convergence of the myriad of simulations we'd probably by now live in a forgotten corner of the simulation matrix which nobody knows or remembers anything about. The feeling of loneliness in the vast space keeps the dreams of living in a simulation alive - there just has to be somebody who is interested in us/me.

  12. Oblig Futurama reference by Linsaran · · Score: 1

    Doomsday device? Aha! Now the ball's in Farnsworth's court.

    --
    In a bit of shameless internet panhandling, I accept Litecoin Donations at Lbd2oH9QsthD1GfuUXPyka12YxvWJYnBVf
    1. Re:Oblig Futurama reference by rwise2112 · · Score: 1

      Doomsday device? Aha! Now the ball's in Farnsworth's court.

      "I guess I can spare one and still be feared..."

      --

      "For every expert, there is an equal and opposite expert"
  13. Waste of Time by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    Crazy scientists. Works on something more useful like Chocolate flavored semen.

  14. You can't destroy the Earth! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    You can't destroy the Earth! That's where I keep all my stuff!

  15. Been there,done that! by MrNemesis · · Score: 2

    I read this oddball and rather fascinating tongue-in-cheek article about the same subject a few years back:

    http://qntm.org/destroy

    It goes from the sublime to the ridiculous; hopefully this research will be just as entertaining!

    --
    Moderation Total: -1 Troll, +3 Goat
  16. Alternative by Zugla · · Score: 1

    Wouldn't they prefer a nice game of chess?

  17. Dr. Chaotica by HyperQuantum · · Score: 1

    Full power to the death ray!

    --
    I am not really here right now.
  18. And people wonder.. by RivenAleem · · Score: 1

    And people wonder why machines will one day rise up and subjugate us all.

    "Once was bad enough, but doing it over and over and over, that's just sick."

  19. Re:Switch != Lever by RaceProUK · · Score: 1

    Then explain why all switches are specified as x-pole x-throw :P

    --
    No colour or religion ever stopped the bullet from a gun
  20. Damn!! :'( by jmd_akbar · · Score: 1

    How did they find out about my secret research??

    --
    Nothing here... So... SHOOO!!!
  21. Mandatory xkcd by Eevee · · Score: 2

    Except that it's not actually xkcd, and it's a repost because the original site is blocked at my work, but here's the comic anyway.

  22. Whew! by macbeth66 · · Score: 1

    For a moment I panicked. I thought they were going ahead with the Intergalactic Bypass. Well, I'm going to hold on to my towel.

  23. Oh sure, destroy the Computer Simulated Earth by Jason+Levine · · Score: 1

    Does nobody think of the Computer Simulated people living on Computer Simulated Earth? Or the Computer Simulated Children? Won't anyone think of the Computer Simulated Children?!!!

    --
    My sci-fi novel, Ghost Thief, is now available from Amazon.com.
  24. Le sigh by pyzondar · · Score: 2

    >> Fortunately, the world they're vaporizing exists only in a computer simulation

    Hear the whisper of a million collective sighs, as the slashdot crowd realized that we won't be getting laid this week either...

  25. Re:Switch != Lever by damien_kane · · Score: 1

    Then explain why all switches are specified as x-pole x-throw :P

    Not all switches; only switches with levers attached.
    Some switches have buttons attached, instead of levers.

    Some switches aren't even electrical, and have neither buttons nor levers (but if used right can still enable the flow of something, wink-wink, nudge-nudge)

  26. Re:Switch != Lever by RaceProUK · · Score: 1

    Last Saturday, I bought a switch with no lever, but a rocker. That was a double-pole-double-throw. See, not all thrown switches have levers :P

    --
    No colour or religion ever stopped the bullet from a gun
  27. Tesla happened by ryzvonusef · · Score: 1

    I read that once Nikola Tesla almost broke up the earth with his earthquake machine, but he managed to stop it. (seriously who the fuck makes a friggin' earthquake machine?)

    Then again, I also read that he had a way of getting free electricity from the clouds or whatever, so I am not sure....

    What's the deal with him anyway?

    --
    I am an ACCA student. Got a query on Accountancy/Finance? Maybe I can help!
  28. Re:Switch != Lever by damien_kane · · Score: 1

    A rocker is a form of lever ;p

  29. Re:Switch != Lever by RaceProUK · · Score: 1

    Squirrel! :)

    --
    No colour or religion ever stopped the bullet from a gun
  30. Re:Switch != Lever by damien_kane · · Score: 1

    Spooooon!