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A Conversation with Rob Malda - Part Three; the Finale (Video)
Part Two ran last Thursday. Part One ran last Wednesday. This is all a lead-up to Slashdot's Quinceañera, or 15th Birthday, this October. (Cue music: Fatboy Slim's Slash Dot Dash.) In this final part of The Conversation with Rob Malda, he talks a bit about what he's working on at The Washington Post, and leaves us waiting with bated breath for more information about projects he's not allowed to tell us about. Yet. So obviously, we'll want to get back with CmdrTaco before too long for an update. Meanwhile, please get ready for the Slashdot 15th Anniversary Celebration, which is sure to be at least as glorious as you would expect from Slashdot.
Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda is a 36-year old white male with a stocky build and a goatee. He responded to my ad to be interviewed for this article wearing only leather pants, leather boots and a leather vest. I could see that both of his nipples were pierced with large-gauge silver rings.
Questioner: I hope you won't be offended if I ask you to prove to me that you're a nullo. Just so that my readers will know that this isn't a fake.
CmdrTaco: Sure, no problem. (stands and unbuckles pants and drops them to his ankles, revealing a smooth, shaven crotch with only a thin scar to show where his genitals once were).
Q: Thank you. That's a remarkable sight.
(laughs and pulls pants back up). Most people think so.
Q: What made you decide to become a nullo?
(pauses). Well, it really wasn't entirely my decision.
Q: Excuse me?
The idea wasn't mine. It was my lover's idea.
Q: Please explain what you mean.
Okay, it's a long story. You have to understand my relationship with Hemos before you'll know what happened.
Q: We have plenty of time. Please go on.
Both of us were into the leather lifestyle when we met through a personal ad. Hemos's ad was very specific: he was looking for someone to completely dominate and modify to his pleasure. In other word, a slave.
The ad intrigued me. I had been in a number of B&D scenes and also some S&M, but I found them unsatisfying because they were all temporary. After the fun was over, everybody went on with life as usual.
I was looking for a complete life change. I wanted to meet someone who would be part of my life forever. Someone who would control me and change me at his whim.
Q: In other words, you're a true masochist.
Oh yes, no doubt about that. I've always been totally passive in my sexual relationships.
Anyway, we met and there was instant chemistry. Hemos is about my age and is a complete loser. Our personalities meshed totally. He's very dominant.
I went back to his place after drinks and had the best sex of my life. That's when I knew I was going to be with Hemos for a long, long time.
Q: What sort of things did you two do?
It was very heavy right away. He restrained me and whipped me for quite awhile. He put clamps on my nipples and a ball gag in my mouth. And he hung a ball bag on my sack with some very heavy weights. That bag really bounced around when Hemos fucked me from behind.
Q: Ouch.
(laughs) Yeah, no kidding. At first I didn't think I could take the pain, but Hemos worked me through it and after awhile I was flying. I was sorry when it was over.
Hemos enjoyed it as much as I did. Afterwards he talked about what kind of a commitment I'd have to make if I wanted to stay with him.
Q: What did he say exactly?
Well, besides agreeing to be his slave in every way, I'd have to be ready to be modified. To have my body modified.
Q: Did he explain what he meant by that?
Not specifically, but I got the general idea. I guessed that something like castration might be part of it.
Q: How did that make you feel?
(laughs) I think it would make any guy a little hesitant.
Q: But it didn't stop you from agreeing to Hemos's terms?
No it didn't. I was totally hooked on this man. I knew that I was willing to pay any price to be with him.
Anyway, a few days later I moved in with Hemos. He gave me the rules right away: I'd have to be naked at all times while we were indoors, except for a leather dog collar that I could never take off. I had to keep my balls shaved. And I had to wear a butt plug except when I needed to take a shit or when we were having sex.
I had to sleep on the floor next to his bed. I ate all my food on the floor, too.
The next day he took me to a piercing parlor where he had my nipples done, and a Prince Albert put into the head of my cock.
Q: Heavy stuff.
Yeah, and it got heavier. He used me as a toilet, pissing in my mouth. I had to lick his asshole clean after he t
I bet it's a moonbase. It's a moonbase, isn't it?
What political party do you join when you don't like Bible-thumpers *or* hippies?
I think this illustrates better than most other news how the internet, and the people's interest in the internet, is tied to ideas, to sites, to content and not to people.
In other words, yes, I like Slashdot, but why the heck should I care what he does at WashPost?
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
His mom says he's cool.
What I would expect is a story submission stating that it is Slashdot's 15 anniversary and to post your favorite memories about the last 15 years on Slashdot.
Something nice and simple like that.
Don't know something? Look it up. Still don't know? Then ask.
will lack Unicode
Quit yer bitchin' and fix it yourself, idiot. It's not like Unicode is some old and important standard or anything.
Did Slashdot look at FarkTV and say to themselves "We can do worse." and then actually attempt to do worse?
Don't know something? Look it up. Still don't know? Then ask.
Just when you thought SlashDot video couldn't get any worse.
Editors, who's Rob Malda? Where's the transcript for those of us who don't have time to watch talking heads? Did he say or do anything interesting in "parts 1 or 2", or are those just for the Rob Malda collectors/fans?
If you collect all three videos, you get a free Slushie at 7-11.
RIP, Mr. Malda. Timely article. You will be missed.
" are those just for the Rob Malda collectors/fans?"
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!
Wow, did you ever just make my day!
I can't watch this video on my android device
Malda is irrelevant, and working for the washington post (which is also fast becoming irrelevant) isn't post worthy.
Does this mean that we all have to dress up?
what Michelle implied I cant belieeve that some one able to earn $5760 in 1 month on the internet. did you look at this web link http://linkpot.net/christen/
I'll never forget the first time I got modded into oblivion for posting a pro-Microsoft, anti-global warming post that also criticized FOSS and Richard Stallman....
What political party do you join when you don't like Bible-thumpers *or* hippies?
Wow, I'm surprised he doesn't look totally stereotypically nerdy (aside from the glasse).
In fact, he looks quite handsome in a way. Didn't expect that.
(Semi-OT, I know, but there's not going to be much content in the comments anyway)
If they're working on "secret" projects, I'm presuming this means the issue with not saving ones preferences for viewing comments will never get resolved.
For the record, I have set myself to view at 1 or above, yet everyday I see comments below this threshold.
Such a simple thing, saving ones preferences, and that can't be done right. I can only imagine what these "secret" projects will be.
Then again, this is what happens when you let programmers design your application and web designers design your site.
We will bankrupt ourselves in the vain search for absolute security. -- Dwight D. Eisenhower
...Rob Malda?
Scratch that. Even with a transcript I don't care.
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What Slashdotter's REALLY want to know is HOW BIG IS MALDA'S PENIS, and how often he plays Whack-A-Mole with it?
* When he shoots his load, what is his volume?
* Does he use a gym sock to clean up, or custom embroidered lace hankies?
* Does he wank to EMO Boy porn or Blond Twink porn?
* Which parks deos he like to wank in?
* Has his mother ever caught him wanking in her basement?
Seriously, these are the questions most Slasgdotters want to know about...
If you want news from today, you have to come back tomorrow.
I can't believe you dug this interview up. I'd completely forgotten about this one. Wonder how Ol'Rob's doing these days.
u had to wait that long for your nuts? no wonder your so insecure with your sexuality.