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Following FEMA's Zombie Preparedness Plan Could Land You On Terrorist List
colinneagle writes "As if warning a zombie apocalypse is imminent, FEMA hosted a webinar for its Citizen Corps encouraging emergency planners 'to use the threat of zombies — the flesh-hungry, walking dead — to encourage citizens to prepare for disasters.' The problem is many of those recommendations would have you do things that would flag you as a possible terrorist according to The DOJ's controversial 'Potential Indicators of Terrorist Activities' guidelines. From the article: 'Don't be silly by thinking you must actually break the law before cops deem you a potential threat and report you. Paying with cash comes under numerous "you might be a terrorist if" lists. Whatever you do, stocking up on non-perishable food as the feds advise should not include buying "meals ready to eat" since that, too, is potentially suspicious and means you might be a terrorist. "Suspicious activity" at military surplus stores includes making "bulk purchases" of "weatherproofed ammunition or match containers and meals ready to eat, as does suspicious purchasing of "night vision devices include night flashlights and gas masks."'"
Just rip off Foxworthy's act and replace redneck with terrorist.
I love Jesus, except for his foreign policy.
I buy all of my MREs at the Commissary on military bases. Nobody gives you a second look, just like nobody looks twice if you are wearing camouflage, carrying a gun and large rucksack, or running at 6 am on a Saturday.
sudo make me a sandwich
By reading this article you're suspicious.
By reading this comment you're even more suspicious.
Want to admit something, terrorist?
What do I know, I'm just an idiot, right?
So that has been my problem all along. I always have used my day flashlights at night, now I know what I was doing wrong.
Our church leaders have continually told us that we should have both a 72 hr kit and a year's food storage. Its not uncommon for a food storage order make its rounds at church every few months or for there to be classes taught during the week on canning and food storage meal prep. Tack on the fact that besides organizations like Walmart & the Red Cross, we have the largest food production & distribution network, all in house and mostly staffed by volunteers.
I guess all of that make us one of the largest terrorist networks in the world. And here you thought that our missionaries were just there to annoy you with offers of Mormon Videos & a copy of the Book of Mormon. Never underestimate the clean white shirt, pressed dark pants, tie and the infamous black & white name tag.
TFA's 2 points about over/under - interest in radio controlled aircraft, I can see it now: "Good morning sir, I'm somewhat interested in radio controlled aircraft and would like to purchase one. Now, don't get me wrong, I do have a interest that sits above just a casual interest, however I'm also not overly interested in them, in fact, I'd say I'm about just the right amount of interested in radio controlled aircraft to buy one, but not so interested that it'd be suspicious.... say, who are you calling?"
> no, yes, maybe (tagging beta)
*Actually* preparing for a zombie apocalypse should get you placed an some other lists as well.
I'm not insane. My mother had me tested.
"... the LAPD adopted 15 of the DOJ's ridiculous lists regarding 'Potential Indicators of Terrorist Activities.' "
Yeah, because nothing ever goes wrong in L.A. that citizens would need to be prepared for.
Except for riots. And earthquakes. And the whole place burning down every year. But other than that, it's just like you see on TV.
Dear Slashdot: next time you want to mess with the site, add a rich-text editor for comments.
If that lands me on some list, you know what. Good. At this point, those lists should be seen as a challenge and not a behavior inhibitor. If you're not on at least three watchlists, your life is not particularly interesting. Take up a couple hobbies.
I like this... And if I get stuck on the never to be fixed no-fly list, so be it. Air travel has gotten so bad I drove from Houston to Orlando for vacation... Pay cash everywhere! Get "Cash Customer" on all the watch lists!
Dammit, now I want an "achievements" section on the DHS web site so I can see what I can go for next.
If you (don't get it), you might be a terrorist!
It doesn't mean much now, it's built for the future.
Here's your sign.
Proposal: Everybody go out and spend as much time as possible taking pictures of dams, power plants, government buildings, and anything else that makes the Spooks paranoid.
Also, let's agree to stop buying firearms, ammunition, fuels, adhesives, plumbing bits, et. al., with anything but cash.
Dress in cammies. All. The. Time. This is especially important to do when taking photographs of infrastructure as mentioned above.
Have a poker night with your buddies, or a member of a DnD club? Make your meetings (and communications regarding meetings) as cloak-and-dagger as possible, to give the impression that you're engaging in some sort of nefarious activity.
In essence, let's poison the holy living FUCK out of this well - give them so many false positives, they'll be forced to scrap the whole project.
An enigma, wrapped in a riddle, shrouded in bacon and cheese
Revelations 7:9
After this I looked, and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and before the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands. 10 And they cried out in a loud voice:
For many of those who are trying to "make the apocalypse happen", the above outlines that it can't happen until every nation, tribe, people, and language has been reached by the word of God. Hence groups like the Joshua Project. They want to get the word of God to everyone. Once everyone has been exposed to the word of God, the apocalypse is possible. And the apocalypse is a good thing for believers, so hell yes, let's get on with it. I think the idea to them is... Apocalypse means I get to get off this rock and on to eternal happy-times, apocalypse can't happen until everyone has had a chance to accept God, I need to get God's word out there so that we can get on with the apocalypse.
It's all very Halo/Convenant to me. Activate the rings... divine winds will whisp us off to heaven... everyone else is fucked.
I dunno. I think endothermic heaters are cool!
It's not in any particular order. But yes, dogs are better than cats at everything.
Please consider this account deleted, I just can't be bothered with the spam anymore.
Also, the government's official manual for dealing with terrorist events should says in large friendly letters: "Don't Panic".
People replying to my sig annoy me. That's why I change it all the time.
And we'll still have TSA giving free prostate exams long after we've forgotten why...
Understanding the scope of the problem is the first step on the path to true panic.