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Apple To Stream a Product Launch Live For the First Time

redletterdave writes "In the biggest surprise since the original iPhone, Apple has decided to live stream its product announcement for the very first time on Tuesday. This means that the company's media announcement from the California Theatre in San Jose, which will begin at exactly 10 a.m. PST (1 p.m. EST), will be available to watch on computers, laptops and mobile devices for the very first time, all in real-time. Apple will be live streaming today's event directly on the company's website. Apple says all Mac and iOS devices will be able to live stream the event, including computers, laptops, iPhones, iPads and Apple TVs." Update: 10/23 18:45 GMT by S : The iPad Mini was announced, as expected. It has a 7.9" screen at 1024x768, it's 7.2mm thick, and it runs on an A5 chip. Pricing is as follows for the Wi-Fi only version: 16GB for $329, 32GB for $429, 64GB for $529. For LTE-capable versions, add $130. Apple also updated the larger iPad, as well as its Mac Mini, iMac, and MacBook Pro lines.

40 of 288 comments (clear)

  1. Apple devices? by SoundGuyNoise · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I was going to ask sarcastically if any device can stream it, or just Apple devices. Then I finished reading the article.

    --
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    1. Re:Apple devices? by vlm · · Score: 3, Insightful

      I was going to ask sarcastically if any

      any product release since the iphone has been described other than ""In the biggest surprise since the original iPhone..."

      I'm not sure, but I think they Might Possibly sell a little tablet-ette a wee bit bigger than my trusty rusty ipod touch and a big smaller than my trusty almost as rusty ipad-1, in other words almost the same shape and size as a kindle reader (With Special Offers(tm))

      A real surprise would be Apple announcing "F all this computer shit, we're reorganizing as a produce orchard and selling real apples"

      --
      "Science flies us to the moon. Religion flies us into buildings." - Victor Stenger
    2. Re:Apple devices? by war4peace · · Score: 2

      I think the correct expression is "any devices which DO have the awfully horrible Quicktime software installed". So thanks, but... no, thanks.

      --
      ...gis sdrawkcab (usually not responding to ACs; don't bother posting as AC)
    3. Re:Apple devices? by quacking+duck · · Score: 2

      I know Youtube can stream h.264 video live, they did that with the Red Bull Stratos dive. Although the post-event video will be available in h.264, probably the only reason Apple insists on Quicktime for this live stream is to lock it to Apple-only devices, using platform detection in the plugin independent of browser user-agent.

    4. Re:Apple devices? by LocalH · · Score: 3, Informative

      I don't think so. I have Quicktime installed on my Win7 PC, and all I see (even in Safari) is "Apple Special Event, October 23, 2012", whereas on my iPod touch 4th gen I'm already seeing streaming video. Looks like they truly restricted it to Apple hardware.

      --
      FC Closer
    5. Re:Apple devices? by nmb3000 · · Score: 3, Informative

      If you go look at the source of this Javascript in an auto-refreshing IFRAME, you'll see

      /*snowLeopard url*/
      var slURL = "http://qthttp.apple.com.edgesuite.net/1210pibasdfvoihbadsv/sl_mvp.m3u8"; /* non-snowLeopard url*/
      var nonSlURL = 'http://stream.qtv.apple.com/events/oct/1210pibasdfvoihbadsv/12poibnasfdvpiajbafvpihjbasfvpiubfsv10_checkback.jpg'; /*Windows url*/
      var windowsURL = 'http://stream.qtv.apple.com/events/oct/1210pibasdfvoihbadsv/12poibnasfdvpiajbafvpihjbasfvpiubfsv10_checkback.jpg'; /*iphone url */
      var iphoneURL = "http://stream.qtv.apple.com/events/oct/1210pibasdfvoihbadsv/12poibnasfdvpiajbafvpihjbasfvpiubfsv10_iphone_ref.mov"; /*ipad url*/
      var ipadURL = "http://stream.qtv.apple.com/events/oct/1210pibasdfvoihbadsv/12poibnasfdvpiajbafvpihjbasfvpiubfsv10_ipad_ref.mov"; /*voip*/
      var voiceOver = "http://stream.qtv.apple.com/events/oct/1210pibasdfvoihbadsv/12poibnasfdvpiajbafvpihjbasfvpiubfsv10_iphone_ref.mov"; /*requirements*/
      var requirements = "Live streaming video requires Safari 4 or later on Mac OS X v10.6 or later; Safari on iOS 4.2 or later. Streaming via Apple TV requires second- or third-generation Apple TV with software 5.0.2 or later."; /*refreshPage*/
      var refreshPage = false;

      My VLC can play the first link (labeled Snow Leopard), for a little while, but drops the stream.

      The "checkback" links all seem to indicate they are either not streaming live to non-Apple devices, or they ran into a "problem" and will start it later.

      --
      "What do you despise? By this are you truly known." --Princess Irulan, Manual of Muad'Dib
      /)
    6. Re:Apple devices? by nmb3000 · · Score: 5, Informative

      What the hell Slashdot? You have to love a nerd news site that can't handle posting a tiny bit of code without frakking it all up. Screw Unicode support -- can we get some decent ASCII support sometime this decade?

      Try again with some manual editing to make it fail a little less.

      /*snowLeopard url*/
      var slURL = "http://qthttp.apple.com.edgesuite.net/1210pibasdfvoihbadsv/sl_mvp.m3u8";

      /* non-snowLeopard url*/
      var nonSlURL = 'http://stream.qtv.apple.com/events/oct/1210pibasdfvoihbadsv/12poibnasfdvpiajbafvpihjbasfvpiubfsv10_checkback.jpg';

      /*Windows url*/
      var windowsURL = 'http://stream.qtv.apple.com/events/oct/1210pibasdfvoihbadsv/12poibnasfdvpiajbafvpihjbasfvpiubfsv10_checkback.jpg';

      /*iphone url */
      var iphoneURL = "http://stream.qtv.apple.com/events/oct/1210pibasdfvoihbadsv/12poibnasfdvpiajbafvpihjbasfvpiubfsv10_iphone_ref.mov";

      /*ipad url*/
      var ipadURL = "http://stream.qtv.apple.com/events/oct/1210pibasdfvoihbadsv/12poibnasfdvpiajbafvpihjbasfvpiubfsv10_ipad_ref.mov";

      /*voip*/
      var voiceOver = "http://stream.qtv.apple.com/events/oct/1210pibasdfvoihbadsv/12poibnasfdvpiajbafvpihjbasfvpiubfsv10_iphone_ref.mov";

      /*requirements*/
      var requirements = "Live streaming video requires Safari 4 or later on Mac OS X v10.6 or later; Safari on iOS 4.2 or later. Streaming via Apple TV requires second- or third-generation Apple TV with software 5.0.2 or later.";

      /*refreshPage*/
      var refreshPage = false;

      --
      "What do you despise? By this are you truly known." --Princess Irulan, Manual of Muad'Dib
      /)
    7. Re:Apple devices? by stewbacca · · Score: 5, Informative

      h.264 is not a plug-in. It's a codec. Anyone who even hints that h.264 is some sort of Apple lock-in mechanism has no idea what they are talking about.

  2. They used to stream Keynotes by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Informative

    would not consider this a First Time.

  3. What? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I dunno what semantics the authors are juggling to call this the first time Apple has live streamed it's product launches. But back in the day, Apple used to live stream all their WWDC keynotes... this is definitely not a first for Apple.

    1. Re:What? by MachineShedFred · · Score: 2

      Well, this is the very first time, except for the Power Mac G4, Power Mac Cube, iBook, Mac Pro, MacBook Pro, iMac 3rd Gen until the aluminum ones, etc.

      So basically this is the first live stream since like 2007. But keep on with checking those facts before stating them like 4 times in the summary!

      --
      Slashdot still doesnâ(TM)t support Unicode after it was added to the HTML standard in 1997.
  4. I'm on the edge of my seat by Jeng · · Score: 5, Funny

    So reporting on a news release about the fact that an upcoming news release will happen live.

    --
    Don't know something? Look it up. Still don't know? Then ask.
  5. New Tag Line by MyLongNickName · · Score: 5, Funny

    News for Nerds
    Stuff that Matters
    Apple Stories Regardless

    --
    See my journal for slashdot ID's by year. Mine created in 2005. http://slashdot.org/journal/289875/slashdot-ids-by-year
    1. Re:New Tag Line by MyLongNickName · · Score: 3, Insightful

      And how is an Apple product announcement not news for nerds?

      Did you read the Summary? This isn't a product announcement. This is details about a product announcement announcement. The next logical step is to have a press release indicating that sometime in the near future we will release a press release about a new product and the press release's press release is on 8.5x11 heavy cardstock paper.

      --
      See my journal for slashdot ID's by year. Mine created in 2005. http://slashdot.org/journal/289875/slashdot-ids-by-year
  6. Modern Times by carrier+lost · · Score: 3, Funny

    What are the odds on how long it runs before being taken down by a DMCA Bot?

  7. Tactic to win first impressions? by DragonWriter · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I suspect that the reason for the restriction to Apple devices is to assure that the first wave of third-party online reporting about the announcement is from a group biased to be more generally favorable to Apple products, to set the tone of the response.

  8. For the very first time by future+assassin · · Score: 3, Funny

    > laptops and mobile devices for the very first time, all in real-time

    Another small step for man kind and giant ego leap for hipsters.

    --
    by TheSpoom (715771) Uncaring Linux user here. I have nothing to add to this but please continue. *munches popcorn*
  9. Re:So, Apple fanboys by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    It's not a 7" tablet. It's 7.9" which most people would round up to 8". It's amazing how an inch on the diagonal gives you a 33% larger area.

  10. iPad Mini -- $329 by ShanghaiBill · · Score: 4, Informative

    Well, they announced the iPad-mini starting at $329 for 16GB, wifi-only. At that price, I don't think it is going to be the "Android-killer" they hoped it would be.

    1. Re:iPad Mini -- $329 by shutdown+-p+now · · Score: 3, Insightful

      As noted, $80... but that is a fair premium for more screen real estate

      There's actually less real screen estate here, because resolution is lower. So you can fit less text with the same legibility level.

      a much wider range of apps built for a larger display

      That's debatable. There are plenty tablet-aware apps for Android, certainly all the big names that actually matter are there. We're not talking about fart apps, right?

      and also much higher quality of construction (looks to use the same materials at the iPhone 5 as far as metallic backs and glass).

      The quality of construction is not defined by materials alone, and then there's also the utility aspect of it. Soft touch rubber-like plastic on the back of Nexus 7 is actually far superior to all-aluminum iPad, because it makes it so much easier to grip it in one hand.

      All in all, this has been a very unimpressive announcement: epic fail on price, display is very meh in this day of Retina craze, and overall lack of any distinguishing competitive features other than the Apple logo. The 13" MacBook is much more interesting.

    2. Re:iPad Mini -- $329 by AmiMoJo · · Score: 2

      I don't think any screen under 1280 pixels wide can cut it for browsing any more. Having only a 1024 pixel screen was my primary motivation for upgrading my Thinkpad a few years ago and I'd never go back.

      Really trying to charge this much for a device with a sub-par screen is a bit much, but Apple are screwed because all the iOS tablet apps are designed for 1024x768 or an exact multiple like the Retina models. They simply can't do anything in between 1024x768 and 2048x1536 without ruining their pixel-perfect experience.

      --
      const int one = 65536; (Silvermoon, Texture.cs)
      SJW, n: "Someone I don't like, and by the way I'm a fuckwit" - AC
    3. Re:iPad Mini -- $329 by SuperKendall · · Score: 2

      There's actually less real screen estate here, because resolution is lower. So you can fit less text with the same legibility level.

      But since the fonts will be the same ACTUAL size, you get more content on screen even if the readability is slightly lower. Just like a technical user to focus on one data point to overlook the fact of what people will actually get on the whole.

      Are you also arguing the iPhone 5 is actually larger than the S3 since it has a denser display? You would seem to be as it's exactly the same argument. I personally prefer consistency in my own life and would say an S3 could display more actual content than an iPhone 5.

      There are plenty tablet-aware apps for Android,

      And there are 275k on the iPad, that are specifically designed for more space.

      We're talking about REAL apps, like just about anything anyone uses. Apple showed plenty of examples in the presentation, from eBay to Yelp to Vimeo.. .

      The FACT is that most Android developers are still targeting Android 2.1, and coding apps that simply scale up UI from a phone-sized screen. Real tablet apps make use of the greater space to add more UI elements, and there are very few Android apps that do this outside of tablet specific games. You joke about fart apps when all you seem to be talking about is that you can run Angry Birds on an Android tablet.

      The quality of construction is not defined by materials alone, and then there's also the utility aspect of it.

      Which of course is a heavy win for the iPad since in the end the tablet is there to run software.

      Soft touch rubber-like plastic on the back of Nexus 7 is actually far superior to all-aluminum iPad

      Both are equally able to be held in one hand, I have never had an issue holding either material.

      All in all, this has been a very unimpressive announcement: epic fail on price, display is very meh in this day of Retina craze, and overall lack of any distinguishing competitive features

      I feel the same way about your response; the same old Apple Hater kind of nonsense that obviously means nothing to real buyers. Your post could have come from 2010 unchanged. When will you people upgrade your arguments? As it stands no-one wants to read your tired repeats. That goes double for me, I'll let you have the last response since why bother to respond to the same old arguments yet again? In the end the market will tell us all the same message you don't want to hear.

      --
      "There is more worth loving than we have strength to love." - Brian Jay Stanley
  11. Re:So, Apple fanboys by 0xdeadbeef · · Score: 2

    One crow suppository, coming right up!

  12. Re:Another Apple blunder by vakuona · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Yup. Let's all ignore Apple's real advantages here. That you get 275,000 apps that work ono the iPad mini. Or that the Nexus 7 that costs $199 is actually the 8GB version.

    Oh, and lets just pretend that the bigger and more expensive iPad is not outselling the Nexus 7 right now, with a much larger price differential.

  13. Re:Another Apple blunder by Anubis+IV · · Score: 4, Informative

    As an advocate of getting facts right, I feel compelled to point out that Apple announced the fourth gen iPad as a replacement to the third gen iPad and will stop selling the third gen. Apparently you missed that. And you could at least get your prices right. Comparably-featured Nexus 7 and Kindle Fire models are $80 cheaper and $130 cheaper, respectively, than the iPad mini base model, though you can get models as cheap as $130 less and $170 less, respectively.

    Also, ignoring your issues of fact, I fail to see the logic in what you're suggesting. Up until today, Apple didn't even have a product that competed in that class of tablet. It's been relying on a product in an entirely different class and at a far higher price to draw customers away from the products you cited, and even then, it's been doing very well (based on the 100M total iPad sales they announced today, coupled with the history of sales numbers listed on Wikipedia, we can gather that they've sold roughly 16M iPads in the last three months, as compared to 3M Nexus 7 sales in about the last four months). Yet for some reason you seem to think that Apple entering that space with a competing product right before the holiday season will actually drive customers away from Apple? That makes no sense whatsoever, and not just because we're talking about Apple. It just makes no sense period.

    At worst, its price will keep it from doing as well as Apple would like, but for customers who wanted an iPad but felt like their only choice was an Android because they wanted something smaller or cheaper than a full-sized iPad, Apple now has an answer that is sure to capture some interest where none would have existed before. That's a net gain, not the loss you're suggesting.

  14. Re:Another Apple blunder by Anubis+IV · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Oh, and lets just pretend that the bigger and more expensive iPad is not outselling the Nexus 7 right now, with a much larger price differential.

    Indeed. I just ran the math on it, and the numbers ended up being about 16M iPad sales in the last 3 months, as compared to 3M Nexus 7 sales in the same time frame.

    For anyone who wants to check my numbers, Apple announced today that they had sold 100M iPads. Wikipedia has a breakdown of iPad sales by quarter, and if you subtract those from the 100M number, you're left with roughly 16M sales that apparently make up the current quarter up to this point. Wikipedia also has sales numbers for the Nexus 7, and says that it's sold 3M as of mid-October, which would be pretty much exactly three months after it launched and only unaligned with Apple's numbers by about a week or two, making it a good comparison.

  15. iMac -- most impressive product here by Scowler · · Score: 2

    The specs / price on the iMacs are better than I would have guessed, and the form factor is impressive as well. Return of the all-in-one PC?

  16. Re:So, Apple fanboys by Bramlet+Abercrombie · · Score: 2

    That ought to take care of the damn gerbil.

  17. Wait, what just happened? by Daetrin · · Score: 4, Interesting

    I've come to expect Apple to release hardware that is marginally better than their competitors at a pretty hefty markup. So let's compare...

    iPad mini: 7.9" screen + 1024x768 resolution = 163 PPI. Price = $330 - $530 depending on storage size.

    Nexus 7: 7" screen + 1280x800 resolution = 216 PPI. Price = $200-$250.

    So for $80 more than the Nexus 7 version with the same amount of storage (16GB: $330 iPad mini, $250 Nexus 7) you get a 0.9" larger screen but significantly worse pixel density. And this is of course before the 32GB Nexus 7 announcement next week. The rumor is that the 32GB version will be $250 and the other models will drop in price. If so that means at the 32GB level you'll have to pay $180 more to get an iPad mini with worse resolution.

    --
    This Space Intentionally Left Blank
    1. Re:Wait, what just happened? by AmiMoJo · · Score: 3, Informative

      You forgot NFC, and the Nexus 7 has a better CPU (quad core + low power core) and batter battery life.

      --
      const int one = 65536; (Silvermoon, Texture.cs)
      SJW, n: "Someone I don't like, and by the way I'm a fuckwit" - AC
  18. Lousy low-res screen by kriston · · Score: 2

    Wow, my Kindle Fire HD and Nexus 7 have higher resolution screens than that lousy disappointment Apple announced today.

    This screen is marginally better than even the Nook Color.

    --

    Kriston

  19. Re:Another Apple blunder by Tough+Love · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Since when has any Apple customer cared about a price difference of $100?

    You're right, Apple customers obviously don't care about saving $100 since they are still customers, but Apple ex-customers do. That is precisely how Apple lost the lead in the smartphone market.

    --
    When all you have is a hammer, every problem starts to look like a thumb.
  20. Re:Thats no moon by Tough+Love · · Score: 3, Insightful

    I sense a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out "I want one now"

    That's amazing, in spite of the fact the this new product has lower screen resolution than a product that costs $130 less, sports an obsolete dual core processor, and still has no built in USB port.

    Oh, and the battery is glued in.

    --
    When all you have is a hammer, every problem starts to look like a thumb.
  21. Re:Linear measure to Area by Speedfister · · Score: 2

    That's what Samsung did, and look what happend.

  22. Re:Another Apple blunder by kipsate · · Score: 2

    That you get 275,000 apps that work ono the iPad mini.

    Which ones, old, pre-retina iPad apps or newer retina iPad apps that will look like shit if they work at all?

    This device should have had a retina resolution if it was to exist at all. Now it is just an enlarged iPhone. Only few developers will target this device specifically. It will be a niche device. I can see it being used by waiters for taking orders on a busy terrace. But as a media consumer or internet front-end device it will fail. The screen is a huge step back compared to all other iOS devices except the iPad 2. If Apple really believed in a device of this size, it should have had a retina resolution.

    --
    My karma ran over your dogma
  23. Re:Another Apple blunder by Citizen+of+Earth · · Score: 2

    Samsung Galaxy. 60M vs. 35M units.

  24. Re:Another Apple blunder by AmiMoJo · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Comparably-featured Nexus 7 and Kindle Fire models are $80 cheaper and $130 cheaper, respectively, than the iPad mini base model, though you can get models as cheap as $130 less and $170 less, respectively.

    How are they comparable? They both have better screens, and the Nexus 7 has NFC, for example.

    --
    const int one = 65536; (Silvermoon, Texture.cs)
    SJW, n: "Someone I don't like, and by the way I'm a fuckwit" - AC
  25. Re:Another Apple blunder by Anubis+IV · · Score: 2

    Truth be told, I was actually trying to avoid an argument by referring to them as comparable, since I thought I was being pretty generous for the sake of any Android fans who might be offended. If you really want to argue that the Nexus is better enough that the two shouldn't be considered comparable, however, we can go down that path. Looking at the spec sheet quickly, here's my take on each of the major points...

    Screen: Tie, since the Nexus' has 35% less screen area but at a resolution that's a fair amount higher
    Processor: Nexus wins with the Nvidia Tegra 3 over the 1.5 year old Apple A5
    Storage: Tie for the models I was talking about, but an iPad win overall with 16GB to 64GB instead of 8GB to 16GB
    Cellular: Tie for the models I was talking about, but an iPad win overall with 4G LTE as an option
    WiFi: iPad wins with dual-band 802.11n instead of single-band 802.11n
    Bluetooth: iPad wins with 4.0 instead of the Nexus' 3.0
    Front-Facing Camera: Tie, with a 1.2MP each
    Back-Facing Camera: iPad wins with a 5MP camera, whereas the Nexus doesn't even have a camera
    Wired Connectivity: Nexus wins with micro-USB instead of Apple's proprietary Lightning connector
    Payment: Tie? Nexus has NFC, whereas iPad uses Passbook
    Battery: Tie, with both getting about 10 hours in typical use
    Feel in the hand: iPad wins with an aluminum case that's thinner and lighter than the Nexus' plastic case
    Software: I'm not touching this topic with a ten foot pole.

    Just to clarify on that NFC vs. Passbook point, Apple hasn't added NFC (yet?), instead opting to add Passbook with iOS 6. Passbook seems to be intended to replace the need to have NFC for making a payment, and by all accounts, it seems to be doing very well, despite only being a few weeks old and only being available on the latest version of iOS. Considering that NFC still hasn't seen widespread deployment by vendors yet, I'm leaning towards calling it a wash. They're both immature at this stage.

    Long story short, we could quibble about a few of them (e.g. bigger vs. better is an ongoing debate with screens, hence why I called it a tie), but in the end, it's pretty close either way and they trade hits pretty evenly when you consider the base iPad mini vs. the higher-end Nexus 7. I'd call that comparable.

    Now, whether or not you're willing to pay an extra $80 for something that's considered comparable...that's a more interesting question.

  26. Re:Another Apple blunder by BasilBrush · · Score: 2

    Which ones, old, pre-retina iPad apps or newer retina iPad apps that will look like shit if they work at all?

    You haven't a clue how this works. Those apps are in the vast majority of cases exactly the same. It's just that the developer supplies artwork at the two different resolutions. And for text, it renders much more nicely on the double resolution Retina display.

    But as a media consumer or internet front-end device it will fail.

    Every device Apple has released has had people like you declaring they would fail. And with few exceptions, such predictions couldn't be more wrong. Prepare to look stupid.

  27. Re:Another Apple blunder by Anubis+IV · · Score: 2

    Apple is already losing significant ground to Android in the 7 inch tablet space

    Color me shocked that a company was losing ground in a market they weren't even competing in!

    While I don't doubt that the 7" Android tablets have been making inroads, I don't think that Apple has been ceding any sort of significant ground in the overall tablet market just yet. Amazon has consistently refused to provide actual sales numbers for their Kindle line (though they've somewhat hilariously provided all sorts of numbers that sound big but are actually impossible to use as a source of comparison *eyeroll*). We do, however, have some analyst's figures for the Nexus 7. To cite the numbers I posted earlier in this thread, Apple sold 16M full-size iPads at $500 to $830 during the Nexus 7's debut quarter, in which the Nexus sold 3M units priced at $200 to $250. As a quick note, it was not a debut quarter for the iPad, and I think it's safe to say that the Nexus 7 was probably the best-selling Android tablet during that time period, likely by a large margin.

    As for volume, while Steve Jobs famously said that Apple's biggest mistake after his departure in the '80s was that it sat on its laurels instead of going for volume when it had the chance, Apple has consistently shown that if it has to choose between profit and volume, it will choose profit. That's why Apple makes roughly 3/4 of the profits in the mobile sector, despite accounting for far less than that in terms of volume. Likewise for the PC market, where they are far-and-away the most profitable PC manufacturer (35% profit share as of 2010, but likely higher now), despite only having a VERY low double-digit share of the market. They'll happily let companies run each other out of business by competing on volume, which is exactly what's happening in the mobile sector, where the only companies actually making a profit are Apple (with 77% of the market's profit), Samsung (22%) and HTC (about 1%), while the rest are in the red as they fight for volume.

    That likely won't happen in the tablet space, since Amazon gets money from content sales while Google gets money from advertising, but Apple's strategy of focusing on profit over volume seems to have worked pretty well for them so far, given that they're the largest company in the world at the moment. If that's what you define as "the opposite of smart", I hope I'm an idiot. ;)