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Secession Petitions Flood White House Website
First time accepted submitter RNLockwood writes "Political.com reports that several petitions to secede from the Union have been created at the White House site, We The People, for many states; all since Obama's re-election. Texas and Louisiana lead the list with Texas needing only 7,000 more signatures to qualify for a White House response, probably less now as more Americans have become aware of the petitions. It would be interesting to see a comparison done of these petitions and the Post Election Racist Tweets Map."
I'm conflicted whether Obama's response should be:
or
Can't we at least let them try it this time?
No
You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.
I think Presidents should automatically get added to the list of hurricane names.
W..w..W - Willy Waterloo washes Warren Wiggins who is washing Waldo Woo.
Here, I made one. Probably not the most cleverly written but hey.
Remove Texas and bring in Puerta Rico so we don't have to change the flags.
Also we could stand to shed a state so we won't have to buy new flags when Puerto Rico becomes a state.
He seceded from the main thread.
rewriting history since 2109
"I'm moving to Australia, because their president is a Christian and actually supports what he says."
"And it's right next door to Switzerland."
If Slashdot were chemistry it would look like this:Cadaverine
That's just an answer that will piss people off. Better to reason with them on an issue they find important:
You do realize that seceding from the union would make your football teams ineligible to win a BCS national championship, right?
That alone should convince almost the entire south to stay.
Reasonably capable general is on the market :-)
It's "secede", not "succeed".
"And it's right next door to Switzerland."
You mean Sweden, right? People are always mixing those two up.
I am not a crackpot.
Although personally, I think it'd be about the best thing in the world if the USA were to split apart into North half/South half or something, since OBVIOUSLY this country has some severe agreement issues, and always has ever since the first days of the USA.
We could call the countries North America and South America. Then we'd have a North America in North America and a South America in North America, but neither a North America nor a South America in South America.
And I thought the whole Washington/Washington DC thing was unnecessarily confusing.
Dear Red States:
We're ticked off at the way you've treated California and we've decided we're leaving.
We intend to form our own country and we're taking the other Blue States with us.
In case you aren't aware that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast.
We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to the people of the new country of New California.
To sum up briefly:
You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.
We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.
Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro choice and anti war and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home.
We wish you success in Iraq and hope that the WMDs turn up but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.
With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90% of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the US low sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven
Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.
With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92% of all US mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush
Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.
We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.
38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.
We're taking the good pot too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.
from: http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/jokes/bljokedearredstates.htm
(Source : Comments section of - http://thehill.com/blogs/hillicon-valley/technology/267413-texas-secession-petition-gains-enough-signatures-for-white-house-response) Don't know the origin of this, but I liked it. "Dear Red States We're ticked off at your Neanderthal attitudes and politics and we've decided we're leaving. We in California intend to form our own country and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware that includes New York, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the rest of the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to the people of the new country of The Enlightened States of America (E.S.A). To sum up briefly: You get Texas , Oklahoma and all the slave states.We get stem cell research and the best beaches.We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal and Todd Akin.We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.We get Harvard. You get those ignorant fools at Ole' Miss.We get 85 percent of America 's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama .We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunchof single moms.With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92%of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90% of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the US low sulfur coal, all livingredwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92% of all US mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99%of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, RushLimbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the deathpenalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.We're taking the good weed too. You can have that crap they grow in Mexico.Sincerely,A Citizen of the Enlighten
And she's an Atheist. It was a triple fail.
I can mend the break of day, heal a broken heart, and provide temporary relief to nymphomaniacs.
It works with both, actually: they can't secede if they fail in their attempt.
But...but...but...all the job creators will be living in red states. How will the rest of us ever find work?
Hence my petition. Get rid of (some of) the net receivers, gain some much-needed capital to help pay down the national debt in exchange, and as a side effect we have a smaller government to boot.
(For what it's worth, I don't expect to get more than a couple hundred signatures, tops.)
So they can secede without succeeding?
Learn to love Alaska
Sorry no. On behalf of all Mexicans, Texans can stay in the USA or become independent, but we don't want them back.
No sig for the moment.
Wait wait. I'm from Missouri. We entered the union as a slave state, but we never seceded (except the parts that tried to) and we fought on both sides of the Civil War. Our senators are one each, D and R, and we used to vote for Democratic presidents until just recently. So are we a slave state or a free state? I don't wanna get stuck with the crazies. I LIKE lettuce.
That's the only thing she didn't confuse. 1) PM, not president. 2) She, not he. 3) Atheist, not Christian. Paiute (550198) was joking about Australia/Austria.
I can mend the break of day, heal a broken heart, and provide temporary relief to nymphomaniacs.
If at first you don't secede, try and try again?
- First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then ???, then profit.
I say we accept this proposal. We can move the capitol back to Houston, dig up Austin from around the edges, then when we have it up in the air turn it upside down and replant it.
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