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The Internet Has Transformed Modern Divorce
stern writes "The internet may be contributing to divorces (thanks, Facebook!) but it's also reducing the pain, especially the bitter fighting associated with joint custody. Calendars are now much easier to coordinate, and if one parent denies a court-ordered phone call to another, there's no way to hide the fact that the call didn't happen. Because of these and other technologies, divorce has changed radically in the last ten years. From the article: 'When [one divorcee] requested court-mandated parent counseling, the judge ordered the two to use an online tool called Our Family Wizard instead. Now, lawyers supervise e-mail exchanges between her and her ex, ensuring that each party responds to the other in a timely manner. All e-mails are time dated and tracked. Parents can create a shared expense log and receive automated notices and reminders about parental obligations.'"
On the contrary, I think it is far more likely that Facebook will contribute to divorces in cases where cheating is NOT occurring. People who are insecure about their relationships are going to read into EVERYTHING on Facebook. But, generally speaking, people who are actually cheating aren't going to post about it on Facebook.
I think you are underestimating how stupid people are.
1990....2000....2005....2006....2007....2008....2009 (-- Year
4.7......4.1.......3.6......3.7.......3.6......3.5.......3.4 (-- divorce rate per 1000 in the USA
source: http://www.census.gov/compendia/statab/cats/births_deaths_marriages_divorces/marriages_and_divorces.html
How can you be looking for a common social cause for something that's not happening?
GOD I hate "common wisdom."
If you can not control yourself when faced with temptation, you have issues that divorce alone is not going to fix.
Utter nonsense.
Specifically with marital fidelity, it's very common that people who intend to be faithful get too close to another member of the opposite sex, spending so much time with them (at work, for example) that feelings begin to develop, and non-physical intimacy gets gradually greater and greater, to the point that it eventually turns physical. Of course, the infidelity began long before it turned physical, and possibly before either party realized what was happening.
But the same holds with all sorts of temptation. If you're struggling to control your weight, it's a bad idea to put a big bowl of your favorite candy on your desk. If you're an alcoholic, it's a bad idea to go into a bar. If you used to be addicted to cigarettes, it's a bad idea to hang out with the smokers behind the building.
Relying solely on self-control when faced repeatedly with the same temptation is pretty much a guaranteed way to fail. It's much smarter to structure your life so that you minimize your exposure to whatever you're trying to avoid.
A Sunday School teacher explained it to me this way:
There was a stagecoach owner who needed to hire a new driver. Three men came in to be interviewed. In addition to all of his other questions, the owner asked each of them "How close can you drive to the edge of a cliff without going over?"
The first responded "I can get so close that the edge of the iron rim lines up exactly with the cliff edge."
The second said "I can get so close that the half of the rim hangs over the edge."
The third said "I don't know. I stay as far away from the edge as possible."
The owner hired the third man.
If you want to avoid temptation, the very best way to do it is to avoid putting yourself in a position where you might someday be tempted. A wise man told me shortly after I got married that it would be prudent for me to avoid, whenever possible, ever being alone with a woman other than my wife. I've followed that advice, and I've never been even remotely tempted to stray, and I doubt I ever will. Be tempted, I mean. I'm quite certain that I will never be unfaithful.
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