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NASA: Curiosity Has Found Plastic On Mars
dsinc writes "Last week Curiosity was able to use its SAM (Sample Analysis at Mars) device to confirm the discovery. A robotic arm with a complex system of Spectral Analysis devices was able to vaporize and identify gasses from the sample, concluding that it is in fact plastic. How plastic formed or ended up on the Martian surface is quite an exciting mystery that sparks many questions. The type of plastic sampled as we know so far can only be formed using petrochemicals, meaning not only that there could possibly be a source of oil on the Red Planet, but that somehow it got turned into plastic. Even more interesting is that oil or petrochemicals used to create this type of plastic are only known to come from ancient fossilized organic materials, such as zooplankton and algae, which geochemical processes convert into oil pointing to the earthshaking evidence that there was once life on mars. 'Right now we have multiple working hypotheses, and each hypothesis makes certain predictions about things like what the spherules are made of and how they are distributed,' said Curiosity's principal investigator, Steve Squyres, of Cornell University. 'Our job as we explore Matijevic Hill in the months ahead will be to make the observations that will let us test all the hypotheses carefully, and find the one that best fits the observations.'" Update: Yes, it's a hoax
The whole think was nudged into place by Stanley Kubrick.
"Flyin' in just a sweet place,
Never been known to fail..."
dropping litter again. Why can't they take the plastic bags they brought their lunch in home with them!
You can tell this is fake is because they messed up there. See, they said "earthshaking" when a legit article would have said "marsshaking", because this, of course, is on mars.
Careful with names containing L slashdot.org/~AiphaWolf_HK slashdot.org/~AlphaWoif_HK slashdot.org/~AiphaWoif_HK
It appears Martians have yet to ban single-use grocery bags ...
I hereby officially announce George Carlin to be our prophet.
All hope abandon ye who enter here.
in 3, 2, 1...
Suddenly, the United States will discover terrorists on Mars as well, and state that those terrorists intend to strike us unless we strike them first...
It's better to vote for what you want and not get it than to vote for what you don't want and get it.
- E. Debs
K'Breel, Speaker for the Council, spoke thus:
When an elder member of the press corps suggested the psyops campaign in question consisted merely of deceiving "Editing Unit #5" into linking to http://nasaupdatecenter.us/press.html instead of http://marsrovers.jpl.nasa.gov/newsroom/pressreleases/20120928a.html, K'Breel had the young reporter's gelsacs slashed, after which the small, rounded particles were first catalyzed into plastic, and upon further heating, reduced to volcanic lapilli.
(An audio recording of Reporter #54550 screaming "Sorry, samzenpus, you put your foot in it today, I swear to CmdrTaco it wasn't me! No hard feelings! Don't devitrify me, 'bro!" as he was led away to the thermal polymerization chamber, has not been authenticated.)
Martians have the advantage when it comes to Mardi Gras. They have 3 breasts if I totally recall...
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