North Korea's Satellite Is Out of Control

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North Korea's Satellite Is Out of Control

Posted by ryuzaki0 on Wednesday December 12, 2012 @12:39PM from the wobble-and-bobble dept.

Koreantoast writes "After failing on numerous occasions, North Korea has finally put a satellite in orbit. But according to US officials, it is now 'tumbling out of control.' This is bad news, and more bad news, covered in a double layer of extra bad news. From the article: 'According to US officials, it appears that North Korea's new satellite has failed to achieve a stable orbit and is now "tumbling out of control." The greatest danger is the threat of it colliding with another satellite, adding to the growing debris field around the earth.' A separate Gizmodo article provides links for tracking the current location of the satellite."

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send the mini-shuttle over there to wack it by peter303 · 2012-12-12 12:40 · Score: 5, Funny

Its unclear if the new min-shuttle has offensive capabilities.
1. Re:send the mini-shuttle over there to wack it by Culture20 · 2012-12-12 13:10 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  The manic depressive ones are the most important to get under control.
2. Re:send the mini-shuttle over there to wack it by arglebargle_xiv · 2012-12-12 14:15 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Its unclear if the new min-shuttle has offensive capabilities.
  Of course it has offensive capabilities. The only country known to not arm its spacegoing vessels is Finland.
3. Re:send the mini-shuttle over there to wack it by mug+funky · 2012-12-12 15:05 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  the space shuttle orbiter was armed in the sense that it had an arm.
4. Re:send the mini-shuttle over there to wack it by Anonymous Coward · 2012-12-12 16:10 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  Then we can take it to our secret volcano fortress where everyone wears jumpsuits. We just need to ninja and British agent proof it.
5. Re:send the mini-shuttle over there to wack it by Gertlex · 2012-12-12 17:02 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  I'm not sure any one has achieved survival of a nuke when using it... /pedantic misreading
6. Re:send the mini-shuttle over there to wack it by Dins · 2012-12-13 02:45 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  small rocket + net + parachute. Navy waiting underneath.
  Why, so we can steal North Korea's advanced satellite technology?
Dear Leader's Satellite is So Advanced... by Anonymous Coward · 2012-12-12 12:42 · Score: 5, Funny

...it can cover multiple orbital trajectories while imperialist pig Yankee capitalist satellites are only capable of a single orbit.
1. Re:Dear Leader's Satellite is So Advanced... by girlintraining · 2012-12-12 13:04 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  ...it can cover multiple orbital trajectories while imperialist pig Yankee capitalist satellites are only capable of a single orbit.
  Our spy satellites can cover multiple orbital trajectories too, and without exploding a few weeks after launch or burning up in the atmosphere. Oh, and you might want to get that mole on your back looked at; Our intelligence analysts think it might be cancerous. Or not. We're just saying, after spending so much money on surveillance watching your every move, it'd be a shame to waste the investment. By the way, kudos on your launch. No really, we mean that -- we're really impressed you can do that when most of your country doesn't even have electricity or basic cable for your citizens to watch.
  Sincerely,
  Your Imperialist Pig Yankee Capitalist friends.
  
  --
  #fuckbeta #iamslashdot #dicemustdie
2. Re:Dear Leader's Satellite is So Advanced... by AchilleTalon · 2012-12-12 16:17 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  NK officials told to press they are pretty satisfied with the result given their reserves of Diet Coke and Mentos, the result is way better than expected. They still have enough Diet Coke and Mentos for another launch before the end of the year.
  
  --
  Achille Talon
  Hop!
Re:So what does the world do about it? by Anonymous Coward · 2012-12-12 13:00 · Score: 4, Funny

I could see several scenarios in which this leads to war with North Korea
Tom Clancy... is that you?
Re:Start betting on where it'll land? by crazyprogrammer · 2012-12-12 13:05 · Score: 4, Funny

is the taco bell target still in the pacific? Mir didn't hit it but I still want that free burrito!

--
"the fax machine is nothing but a waffle iron with a phone attached to it." - Grandpa Simpson
Re:Start betting on where it'll land? by Anonymous Coward · 2012-12-12 13:06 · Score: 5, Funny

I hope it lands back in North Korea so its citizens can get some return on their investment.
best post by hurfy · 2012-12-12 13:14 · Score: 4, Funny

from the article after someone makes a prediction of it crashing somewhere.
One of the follow-ups: " I predict it will crash into a Mayan temple in 9 days "
You guys have a tough bar to reach in comments this time :)
My apologies by pla · 2012-12-12 13:16 · Score: 4, Funny

Figures, Best Korea would launch a satellite with a bad attitude.

Pity, Japan's having pitching a fit over NK's poor angle of attack, but y'all just need to get over it - NK clearly has no inclination to just roll over and take it!
Re:X-37B timing? by epyT-R · 2012-12-12 13:35 · Score: 3, Funny

pff.. why when they can just send up the X302 to blow it out of the sky?
Re:Worst part by epyT-R · 2012-12-12 13:39 · Score: 3, Funny

Oh noes.. the UN might write us a letter telling us how angry they are..
Re:hmmm... by stephanruby · 2012-12-12 13:50 · Score: 4, Funny

Thus far, the score is 1 to 0
Secret US Space Drone: 1 and Flying Korean Unicorn: 0.
Re:So what does the world do about it? by Spy+Handler · 2012-12-12 13:56 · Score: 5, Funny

And, of course, you sound so confident you can win (protip: You didn't win last time).
We didn't have Chuck Norris last time.
North Korean news spin about the spin by Grayhand · 2012-12-12 14:40 · Score: 4, Funny

North Korean succeeds again, our new satellite is able to spin faster than any imperialist satellites and is expected to make a triumphant return any second now.
Re:It may not be stupidity by mug+funky · 2012-12-12 15:20 · Score: 5, Funny

do you have any idea how f'ing busy I am, Hans Brix??
By Canada by Roger+W+Moore · 2012-12-12 16:14 · Score: 4, Funny

Not only that but this is probably the only instance where Canada was better armed than the US.
1. Re:By Canada by electron+sponge · 2012-12-12 17:53 · Score: 1, Funny
  
  Not only that but this is probably the only instance where Canada was better armed than the US.
  And just like in nearly every other area, Canada's efforts would have been utterly useless had America not done the heavy lifting. Great, thanks for Canadarm. There's no way we could have possibly manufactured such a modern marvel as that here in the US. We're just clueless pikers and you geniuses north of us are obviously our superiors in every way. Thank god for Canada, or we'd all be lost. It's called throwing you a bone, the least you could do is show gratitude instead of acting like you lot actually did something, because you didn't.
  Do we have to be reminded nearly every time the shuttle is discussed that Canada built the arm? Is there some sort of CanCon regulation that when a Canadian sees the Space Shuttle mentioned they are obligated to bring up the arm, the same way that Canadian radio stations are forced to play Rush or Neil Young once an hour?
  Familiarity breeds contempt.
2. Re:By Canada by Ford+Prefect · 2012-12-12 19:22 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  We're just clueless pikers and you geniuses north of us are obviously our superiors in every way. Thank god for Canada, or we'd all be lost. It's called throwing you a bone, the least you could do is show gratitude instead of acting like you lot actually did something, because you didn't.
  For failing to comprehend the True Cosmological Glory that is Canada, you are hereby sentenced to be (appropriately enough) torn limb from limb by the newest Canadian space-robot, Dextre the Magnificent.
  
  --
  Tedious Bloggy Stuff - hooray?