White House Must Answer Petition To 'Build Death Star'

EdIII writes "The White House petition to secure funding for building the Death Star has garnered over 25,000 signatures, which means the White House must officially respond. I can't wait to see it. My question to Slashdot readers: what modifications would you add to the proposed Death Star? Obviously, as one journalist put it, 'guardrails around any of the facility's seemingly endless number of bridges, spans, shafts and pits.' What other changes would you ask your representatives to make?"

Comments

Remove the obvious structural weaknesses

[DaemonDan]

No more shafts leading directly to the core, please.

Re:Remove the obvious structural weaknesses

[bondsbw]

Such as the White House?

Re:Remove the obvious structural weaknesses

[tonywong]

iFixit will give the new Death Star a repairability rating lower than the new iMac, then.

Re:Remove the obvious structural weaknesses

[hawguy]

For the same reason smoke stacks and ventilation ducts have the least number of turns and bends: any obstruction creates back-pressure ... and back pressure is something you don't want when you are trying to dissipate excess heat during a SCRAM.

Then again ... whoever thought they could hit a 1.5 meter target while travelling at 250+ meters / second ....

Childs play - I used to bullseye womp rats in my T-16 back home, they're not much bigger than two meters.

Re:Remove the obvious structural weaknesses

[Savage-Rabbit]

No more shafts leading directly to the core, please.

They already fixed that on the Endor variant (they just had a lousy slow contractor building it).

My vote is that they add an exterminator or two to the crew. I hear the first Death Star had quite a pest problem in it's garbage compactors.

What none of you realise is that we are about to witness yet another round of trials and tests of the new death star concept demonstrator, the USS Apophis. They only made it look like an Asteroid to fool the Chinese. This has been common knowledge among UFOlogists for years now.

Re:Remove the obvious structural weaknesses

[ArsonSmith]

You hurt small animals for fun as a kid? You must be some kind of psychopath.

Re:Remove the obvious structural weaknesses

[Anonymous Coward]

Still don't understand how that photon torpedo curved into the shaft.

That was my bad. I was a contractor on the original DeathStar, hired to do the wall vaacum systems. Kinda' misread the plans that day, little hung over... Hooked up the wrong pvc pipe, and, well... It was an honest mistake!

Posting AC cause "Mr. you know who" reads Slashdot.

Re:Remove the obvious structural weaknesses

[yndrd1984]

Childs play - I used to bullseye womp rats in my T-16 back home, they're not much bigger than two meters.

You hurt small animals for fun as a kid? You must be some kind of psychopath.

Sooo, how many meters long are the medium-sized animals on your planet? And about the large ones...

Re:Remove the obvious structural weaknesses

[aix tom]

Don't remind me about Alderaan.

Put your money in the Bank of Aldreaan, they said. Safest bank in the universe, they said. They'd have to to blow up the entire planet to get in there, they said.

Re:Remove the obvious structural weaknesses

[digitalmonkey2k1]

You hurt small animals for fun as a kid? You must be some kind of psychopath.

There's two suns and no women. What the hell else am I supposed to do?!

Make sure...

[Anonymous Coward]

...it is ADA compliant.

Re:Make sure...

[MichaelSmith]

...it is ADA compliant.

You mean coding it in all UPPERCASE?

Re:Make sure...

[sootman]

> He seemed to run the Death Star just fine....

You mean, other than having two blown up out from under him? Yeah, the guy was a fucking champ. :-)

Done

[Anonymous Coward]

We already have one. Where did you think all the money went?

-Obama

The White House should be all:

[smittyoneeach]

"What, our Debt Star isn't enough? Don't try to out-greed us, peasants."

Something just didn't sit right with me...

[Onuma]

Randal: A construction job of that magnitude would require a helluva lot more manpower than the Imperial army had to offer. I'll bet there were independent contractors working on that thing: plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers.
Dante: Not just Imperials, is what you're getting at.
Randal: Exactly. In order to get it built quickly and quietly they'd hire anybody who could do the job. Do you think the average storm trooper knows how to install a toilet main? All they know is killing and white uniforms.
Dante: All right, so even if independent contractors are working on the Death Star, why are you uneasy with its destruction?
Randal: All those innocent contractors hired to do a job were killed- casualties of a war they had nothing to do with. (notices Dante's confusion) All right, look-you're a roofer, and some juicy government contract comes your way; you got the wife and kids and the two-story in suburbia-this is a government contract, which means all sorts of benefits. All of a sudden these left-wing militants blast you with lasers and wipe out everyone within a three-mile radius. You didn't ask for that. You have no personal politics. You're just trying to scrape out a living.

Re:HALOPERIDOL

[zippthorne]

What would be the point of building a space station with a planet-destroying superlaser when all live on the same planet as all of our enemies?

Re:HALOPERIDOL

[jd2112]

Exactly like my grand-grandmother, who died convinced that we never went to the moon because "that's just impossible".

That's no moon...